Hand Warmers

I’m a nerd, so when school was out for winter break, I went to the library so I could keep learning. I forgot my coat didn’t have any pockets, so when I was waiting out at the bus stop, I had to blow in my hands to keep them warm.

Then, Aaron came up with 2 of his friends, and I didn’t know him, but my brothers did. “Hey, your hands cold?” The way he said it, I thought they were going to bully me, because usually that’s the tone of voice people take when they’re asking rhetorical questions, but actually making fun of you. That, and my brothers told me to stay away from him, because he’s a bully.

But then, he took my hand gently, and put it down his pants. “Huh, her fingers are cold!” I felt his balls shrivel up to hairy wrinkles, but something else on my arm. So, I had to feel back up, and grip it.

“What’s this?”

“My dick.” He stuck his hips out proudly.

One of his friends laughed, “She doesn’t even know what a dick is.”

“Yeah!” I was a little knowitall, so just the idea that I didn’t know what a dick was insulted me. “His penis.”

“Here, just pull it.” Aaron held my wrist, and jerked it “Up and down, like this. UGH!” He made this disgusted noise, like he stepped in something nasty barefoot, and then I felt something on my arm. My sleeve slipped up, I had long sleeves on of course, but his waistband must’ve pushed it up, because he wet his pants, and got it on my arm.

“Ew, you peed on me?” He just shook his head, and sat down on the bench, panting. I looked at my arm, and saw that wasn’t pee, but then the other 2 boys came up, and backed me in the corner. I looked out through the side of the bus stop, they were clear plastic walls with the maps, and schedules stuck inside them, an ad for something on the other side.

“Just wipe it off, here.” One of them took my hand, and pulled the sleeve down, to wipe the sticky mess off, and stick it back in his pants.

“Huh, yeah. Your other hand is cold!” The other boy stuck my other hand down his pants, and I always heard that boys would try to get in your pants. If you let them, and I realized that I shouldn’t be doing this. Too late, after I already jerked off one boy, the other two thought I was that kind of girl, and I didn’t know what to do. So I just closed my eyes, and shook my head.

They had me cornered, and both hands down their pants, and there were three of them. When I thought they were going to bully me, I didn’t think about sexual bullying? As smart as I thought I was, my brothers, they didn’t really play with me. I was a girl, so they mostly left me alone, and I guess I got attention for being “The smart one.”

They started grunting, and humping my hands slower, so I couldn’t ignore them, and what they were doing any longer. Finally, they came in their pants, one by one, and I felt stupid for thinking it was urine for one second. It was semen, sperm, and they finally left me huddled up in the corner of the bus stop. Shivering, but it wasn’t from the cold.

I can’t believe I was ever so naive. I hate to admit that I was ever vulnerable, a victim, and I even told myself that I wanted it, I enjoyed it. Kind of a side effect of being an intellectual narcissist. You know “Well,” glasses push, “Actually.” The only way I knew to cope was to go to the library, and try to research it.

I knew that it was sexual, but I still couldn’t think of it in terms of abuse. The semen stains dried up on my jacket by then, but I didn’t try to hide them. They didn’t have any books on sexual abuse there, so let me explain. This was back before you could go to the library, and use their computers to get on the internet. There was an internet of sorts, and they had computers, but they were just electronic card catalogs, they weren’t hooked up to anything.

That opened up a sort of pandora’s box. Before that, I didn’t pick any particular subject of study, I just wanted to learn about everything, but so far my sex education consisted of animals on PBS. The mating habits of the Bird of Paradise, or sea turtles crawling up the beach to lay their eggs. I found the Kama Sutra, though. The librarian looked at me funny when I went to check it out, and she even asked me how old I was, but she wouldn’t let me take it.

So, I sat down, and read what I could about Tantric sex in the comfy chairs over by the Reference books. You couldn’t check those out either, but it was like my home away from home. I spent hours, and hours there, just reading, whatever I was interested in. After school, and on weekends, but I felt like I was exploring another planet.

Now, I can look back as a Child Psychologist, and say that I wanted to take back some of the power, and control they took from me. So, finally when I thought I understood this sex thing a little better, I put the books back on the shelf, and took the bus back over to Aaron’s house. I don’t remember his friend’s names, they told me, but this was a long time ago, and honestly I never really cared about them.

They were just there, but they must have gotten bored, and left. So, I knocked on Aaron’s door, and I asked his dad if he could “Come out and play?” He looked at me funny, and shook his head, but he went back to get him.

“What do you want?”

“Where’s your boyfriends?” I tried to make my voice sound like I was making fun of him, and it worked.

“They’re not my boyfriends.” He shook his head.

“Well,” I leaned up in the doorway, and looked right at his crotch. “Maybe you can call them, so they can come over, and play around some more?” It had warmed up while I was in the library, so he didn’t even have a jacket on, but he was flaccid.

“Yeah,” he patted me on the shoulder, and looked out. Back and forth sketchily, but he pulled me in. “I’ve got a phone in my room, so we can go in there.” His dad just sat back down in front of the TV, but he was right there, so he heard all this. He didn’t say anything, but he took the phone, and looped the chord under his bedroom door.

“Hey, that girl came back for more.” He laughed, “You know, the nerdy girl from the bus stop, this morning?” They didn’t cover group sex, or threesomes in any of the books I could find at the library. They were mostly for married couples, trying to spice up their love-lives, but I found some things I wanted to try in my research.

I took my coat off first, and Aaron came over to kiss me. He had to bend way over, so I got up on the bed, and held his head. Turning it one way, while I went the other to get our noses out of the way. He opened his mouth for my to stick my tongue in, and French kiss him. He didn’t smell smoky, at all. He lit up on the bus stop, before he told his friends to “Come on,” and left me there all alone.

Up on his bed, I had to reach way down to feel him get hard in his crotch, but I felt his arms, and his chest muscles first. He worked out, and he had a job at the grocery store, where he had to do a little heavy lifting. Cases of cans and stuff, to put them up on shelves, but later I went to watch him work, his biceps bulging especially, and his hard glutes when his pants pulled tight, squatting to pick something up from the bottom shelf.

He didn’t have abs, or anything, but by the time his friends called their friends, and came over. Aaron had my clothes off, and his shirt off, so I could rub his shoulders with his head between my legs. Kissing me deeply, I know it’s cunnilingus, and I might have even come across that word in my first day’s research, but I never liked it. Too clinical, and even a little too nerdy, but for some reason I like Fellatio. Not just doing it, but also the word it’self just sounds right, when Cunnilingus just sounds silly to me. At the time, I thought of him French kissing my sex.

He kept his pants on, and stopped when the boys knocked on his door. He had a big erection when he stood up, and let them in. They laughed, “Boy, you weren’t kidding!”

“Yeah, but she’s kinda young.” One of them touched my chest, “She doesn’t even have any tits yet.”

“So? I have a name, my name is Anne.” My brothers called me Library Anne, even when they were sending me to the Library to look something up for them, but there were 4 boys all crowded in the room at once.

“Sor-ry!” He didn’t sound sorry at all, but then I told them to take off their shirts. So I could see their bodies, no abs still, but I wasn’t expecting 6 packs. This was back before toned abs really came into style, so none of them really did sit-up outside of PE, let alone planking, and crunches.

None of them looked as big, and strong to me as Aaron. “None of you look at my dick, you frickin’ fairies.” One of them kept going, dropped his pants, and turned away. It was barely chubby, but from the side, it was the first time a boy had dropped his pants to show me his dick. (I had brothers, and I’d seen them urinating, but that was it.) I put it in my mouth to suck it hard, and a lot of the boys were down on the floor with me. Feeling me up, mostly my butt, but also my legs, and one of them pulled my head off the now erect penis.

“Now do me.” He shoved his in my face, so I let go of the 2 erections I had on either side of me, and reached up to hold it to my lips. Kiss the head, suck it in, and swirl it around in my mouth to get him hard. Then another, and another, Aaron was the only one that got hard already. Giving me oral sex on his bed, and when I looked up. He was laying back with one knee up on the wall, rubbing it in his pants, and just watching me service his friends.

I really like that, when a boy, or boys are just chubby so I can feel them getting hard in my hands, and mouth. I love it when their scrotums shrink up, or relax, warming up in my hands, too. I guess it’s a hold over from my first sexual experience, at the bus stop, but they feel so alive in my hands, when they change like that. They kept going flaccid, whenever they looked up, and there was anothe naked, or half naked boy in there with them, but not Aaron.

He smiled at me, and winked, but then a boy started cumming on my back. “Ugh!” He turned my head, and held it over my shoulder, shooting it on my cheek. Then, another boy got up off the floor, but his hand was replaced immediately by another boy’s on my ass. There was somebody rubbing my butt cheeks, and my crotch almost constantly. They only let go long enough for somebody else to take over molesting me.

I didn’t think about that, as molestation for years. I was molested, but I got a sense of power and control out of discovering what boys would do for pussy. To get sucked off, even get naked, and hard with other boys in the room as long as they didn’t look, or cross swords.

I tried to get 3 boys together, hip to hip to see if I could get all three heads in my mouth at once. They just squirmed, and turned their hips away, before I could touch their tips together. Going soft again, so I settled for sucking the one in the middle, but once they started ejaculating, it was like a chain reaction. Boy after boy stopped fondling me with one hand, and jerking off with the other to stand up, and finish off.

It was more like a circle jerk, with me as the cookie than a real bukkake. I don’t know when that term was coined in Japan, but it sure hadn’t made it to America yet via the internet. So, none of us knew about it, or German Goo Girls, or any of the other many imitators.

Finally, the 3 boys left, only one of them was there this morning. The one Aaron called when I got there in his room, and he called 2 of his friends, or picked them off the streets. Aaron kept his pants on the whole time, until they left, and he finally got up. He wiped cum out of my eyes, and he asked me “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, that was great!” I had it all over my hair, face, shoulders, and running down my back. He wiped his thumbs off on his pants, and looked out the door, but his dad was seeing the other boys out.

So, he snuck me across the hall, and said “You better take a shower before you go.”

“Get in with me.” I pulled open his button, and unzipped his pants, only to find out that he couldn’t hold it. I told him about the Tantric practice of teasing, and orgasm denial, which I didn’t really understand. (I thought I did, but I still didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t understand anything, even to myself.) They had the Burton translation, without that many pictures, like the later translations you could get to show how to do the donkey, or the dragon. It wasn’t about the positions (Sir Richard Frances Burton also translated 1001 Nights.)

So, he tried to hold it back, just to see if it really made the climax better. Then, he saw all his friends ejaculating all over me on the floor, and he couldn’t hold it. So, he washed my hair, and my back. I tried to suck the last little bit of sperm out of his softy, but it was stuck to the head from his underwear. So, I could swirl it around, and taste it along with all I’d licked up.

In retrospect, I’m lucky I didn’t get gangraped. They just said “She’s a virgin,” or asked when one of them stuck a finger inside me, but they stopped when they touched my hymen. Then, they pulled out for another boy to touch it, but just to check. They didn’t even try to break it, but they knew Aaron was right there in the room. It was his house, and he pretty much had dibs on me, even though nobody said it out loud.

He couldn’t get it up again, but he got me clean, and helped me dry off. I was more than satisfied, but it was mostly just my sexual curiosity at that point. I had found out so much about sex in 1 day that I had to go back home, and start a notebook. Just to organize all my thoughts, I did outlines, pros, and cons. Compare, and contrast just to try and make sense of it all, but then New Years came around, and I got to go back to school.

I heard girls talking about boys in the restrooms, and I went in there to take a dump, but as soon as I heard them out there. I wiped, flushed the toilet, and went out to brag to them. They couldn’t believe that I had a boyfriend, let alone one in High School, and I finally had to say “Wanna bet?” So, they had to come home with me after school and I waited until he came out on the porch to smoke a cigarette.

“There he is.” They giggled, when I ran up. He dropped his cigarette to pick me up, and kiss me right out on the porch. Then, I waved girls over, and I asked him if he could call any of his friends to play with them. By then, I’d broken my hymen myself with my fingers, just to get that out of the way. I took Aaron to the Library to check out the Kama Sutra (Since he was a teenager, even though they didn’t officially have age restrictions at the library, the librarian still wouldn’t check it out for me.)

So, we read it together, and tried all the positions we wanted to. He got really good at holding it, so he didn’t blow it early in his pants. That was a side effect of trying to do Tantric sex, without actually understanding it: He learned endurance, how to hold back a quick orgasm to get one big one later, though he couldn’t hold it for days. It still filled his balls for big loads to bolw in my mouth, and gulp down as fast as it came out.

They weren’t my friends at school. I didn’t have any friends at school up until then, but they were 6th graders. So, they already started puberty, and while they didn’t exactly have big breasts, they weren’t flat chested, either. The boys loved that when they finally showed up, so we could stop practicing oral sex on each other, and Aaron pulled his pants up. To watch the orgy, and get hard again, but he kept it in his pants until they left as couples. I won the bet though, and I became real popular at school after that…

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