I am a trannie – but I am not

People call me a tranny but that is just awful. I was born in the wrong body and I cannot wait to get that fixed. Being gender dysphoric is awful …

I was born a boy. So let’s face that right now. I never felt like a boy and in my earliest years I was never made to be a boy. In fact I could be just what I wanted and I think I was more of a tom boy than a boy. I liked skinny jeans and tight tanks, I loved pink and purple and I always had long fair hair.

My Dad wanted to change that after I started grade school. He wanted me to toughen up and to play ball and do other manly things. But I couldn’t. I did not have the right co-ordination and I could not throw a ball to save myself. I always did those things like a girl. But I loved climbing trees, I loved hiking and I loved doing adventurous things outdoors.

So, what heppened? Things really started to change about the age of 11. My bestie, Caitlin (Cat) , started growing bumps on her chest and I knew that she was lucky and that I wanted them too. She also started to develop hips and when she put her bikini on … well I wanted one too. I used to talk to Mom about this but she told me to be careful because my Dad did not agree with how I felt. So, in secret, Mom used to buy me panties to wear and she also made sure my jeans were tight skinny ones.

Caitlin knew all this because she was my bestie and we were very very close. In fact her Mom (her Dad was dead) used to allow me to be girlie when I went to visit and, over time we used to sleepover at one another’s houses. When I stayed at Caitlins her Mom let is sleep in her big double bed – Caitlin’s, not her Moms, silly – and gradually we started to fool around a bit. I wanted to look at Cats vag and she wanted to look at my penis. I was very ashamed of my penis and I hated it, especially if it grew long and stiff, which it did sometimes for no reason at all.

But I got to see her vag and to look at it very closely and to play with it. I loved that. I could make Cat moan and squirm and she used to pump out sticky stuff that made her all slippery inside. When we were about 13 things got a bit serious. Cat wanted to play with my penis but I hated that. She would rub it and make it hard and then she would suck it. Sometimes it would spurt out cum and she would lick it. In return I was allowed to suck her clitty and to push my fingers inside her. She would moan and thrash around and I had to keep shushing her in case her Mom heard. Of course she wanted me to go further but I hated that thought.

I did not want a penis. I did not want to stick it in her slit. But Cat was very, very persistent, and one night, after we had played with each other quite a bit she said I had to stick it in her. She was planning on dating Jackson (who is 15) and she wanted to have sex with him, but she couldn’t do that because she did not really know what to do. If she had sex with him and it was not very good then she would lose him and she did not want that. So, after much talking, I agreed.

Cat got to work on me and sucked my penis until it stood up and was hard and I pushed my fingers in her slit and moved them until she became wet. Then she laid back and spread her legs as wide as wide and I kneeled between her thighs. My penis had lost some hardness by then so she tugged at it and got it going again and then I pushed it into her slit. It did not go far and it seemed that her vag was blocked. But Cat just said push harder. I am a virgin, I have never done this, and my hymen has to be broken. This is why I need you to do this for your bestie because I could not have sex with jackson if this was in the way.

So I pushed and I pushed and Cat lifted her legs right up and then my penis sort of broke through and went all the way into her. She let out a scream and I put my hand over her mouth and we just lay there, joined. After a bit she started to move and sort of rock and that made my penis harder and it started sliding up and down inside her. We did this for a bit and the sliding and pumping got harder and faster and then she started moaning, so I stopped. But she clenched her legs around my bum and pulled me into her and told me not to stop – to go faster. Then all of a sudden she started moaning in a different way and she held me as tight as tight and I knew then that she was having an orgasm. It was wonderful to watch. I loved looking at her face. I knew then what it would be like to be fucked and I so yearned for that.

Instead I had this awful thing called a penis and it had gone soft. When I pulled it out of her I could see that some white stuff was in her vag and on my cock, so I knew that meant I must have cum. But I hadn’t really felt anything. Howe amazing. But I knew, I just knew, I had to have a vag because that was the only way for me to have sex.

When I went home next day I told my Mom a lot of what I felt (I didn’t tell her exactly what we did or anything of course) and she agreed to take me to the doctor to discuss my feelings. I knew that I needed some medicine to stop me becoming a hairy boy and I needed it quick.

Cat had her date the next Friday with Jackson and she said they did it in the back of his car. She was so grateful for my help because she said Jackson could not believe how good she was at sex. He had had sex with a couple of other freshmen and sophomores but he said none of them were as good as Cat! He thought Cat was much more sexy, much more slippery and she could take his cock right inside her and she could make him cum – lots.

I will tell more about becoming a girl and some of my sex things another time.

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