Getting fucked by mom’s drug dealer

My mom had a problem with meth, she owed $10,000 and couldn’t pay, and he had already raped my sister’s so he raped me next since I was the youngest.

So I’ll start by saying I have really mixed feelings about what happened. I haven’t ever been into rough kinky sex stuff like rape or bondage or anything, but after I was raped it opened up a lot of Desires I didn’t know I had. I am currently 17 this happened when I was 16. I never really stayed with my mom after the age of 7 because of her instability with drugs so I moved in with my grandma, but my sister’s decided to stay with my mom, so they pretty much ended up just like her. I on the other hand have always been a relatively good child and haven’t ever really done anything bad or touched drugs besides weed and alcohol. I always kept in contact with my mom and sisters and stuff because they’re family. I still hung out with them from time to time and they still came to family occasions cause msot of my family was on drugs anyway. But one day my sisters came to my grandma’s house and told me that my mom had been fucking around with this drug dealer abt some fucking meth, and she owed him $10,000. She couldn’t pay it and she knew it so she tried to fuck her way out of it, but he said no. And then despite my mom telling them no my sisters also offered to let him fuck them who at the time were 17 and 18, but he said no because he had already fucked them before when my mom didn’t pay a tab. So, he suggested that since sex was on the cards for negotiation, he said he’d forgive my mom’s debt if she let him fuck her 16 year old daughter. He knew about me because my mom had dropped us off over there a few times as like collateral or some shit. She said hell no and refused immediately, but he said alright well we’ll see and told them to get the fuck out and find a way to pay him his money. So my sisters warned me abt what was going on, and I was in the lookout for days after had pepperspray and everything. But after a few days I let my guard down and in my own house I didn’t think I needed to have it up, but I did. A few days later at night I was sleeping and all I remember is waking up with a gun in my face and a hand over my mouth to a 4 big black men. The man who had the gun and his hand on my mouth said that if I said a word he’d shoot me in the face and run out. So I shut up. He backed away and sent the rest of his guys in the rest of the house. They went and snatched up my grandma, mama, and two sisters and dragged them in the room with me. And made them sit on the couch across from my bed. The man with the gun then unbuckled his pants and pulled them down and pulled out his big 10-11 inch cock. I mean it was so fucking big. He told me to come here and suck this bbc you little white bitch. So after I was crawling forward to him he smacked me hard asf acrossed the face and I fell to the bed. Then he told me to get up and get my ass over there and suck his fucking dick. And so I got up and crawled back over and took his cock with my hand and just started sucking it as hard and as fast as I could, to try and make him cum as quick as possible so it would all be over as quick as possible. But then as I was bent over sucking him off he leaned over me and pulled down my shorts and spit on his finger and started fingering my pussy. I didn’t want to start getting wet, but I literally couldn’t help it. Then after he made me cum I didn’t even make him cum because my mouth was too small to go all down on his dick, he got on the bed with me and made me face my family and he shoved his huge black dick inside of me with no gentleness at all. I started to bleed almost immediately. I wasn’t a virgin, but just the size of his dick and how quickly he drove into me tore and rubbed against my pussy skin. He fucked me in tht position until he came. After he was done I thought it was over, but then he yelled out who’s next and they all one at a time took turns fucking not only my pussy, but my asshole too and even though I was in so much pain and shock, with the amount of orgasms I had, I felt an enormous amount of euphoria running through my body and I loved it. After they were all done fucking me they warned each one of us that if we said any thing to anybody that they would come back and do the exact same thing to all of us and next time they’d kill us. My family was crying the whole time watching this happen to me and immediately ran to me after it was over and they called the cops. The cops and ambulances came and they were actually arrested and put in prison. I had to testify at the trial. But my point in writing this is to find out if there are any other girls out there who have been raped and then ended up loving it, because I now masturbate a majority of the time thinking Abt that and I have only had sex with 2 guys since I was raped. So advice please. Thanks

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