Man on the Corner

My aunt, and uncle couldn’t visit, this year…

For the first time that I could remember, we usually went to church together, as a family. It was my first year living alone, and what a year to move out.

So, my mom, and dad called, and they were already in another window. In the corner, as a family on the sofa.

The pastor did a conference for the whole entire congregation, and I got a glass of wine. A neighbor had brought me, being only 19, she was 23, and lived in the same apartments. Left it in front of the door with a barrel of bleach wipes.

I had to put on a mask just to get that, but with Uncle James, and his family across the whole screen. They sand the hymns together, as a family, and I poured another glass when I downed the first.

I was getting drunk, and the acne I had around my mouth stopped bothering me. I stopped scratching the side of my nose, because it didn’t itch, but at the computer desk. They couldn’t see anything but my face, and I leaned over beside the webcam to take another drink.

His daughter, my cousin in her mother’s lap, singing loud in her high pitched voice. “Let us pray.” The pastor typed loudly. I think, her keyboard was too close to the microphone, but I was struck by how many people were in the same call.

The whole congregation, hundreds of families, and their guests. I closed my eyes, but I remember him. Uncle James, when he was a bit younger. Before he grew that silly looking mustache, his eyeglasses off, dressed for bed.

He used to tell me a fairy tale, and now his daughter is turning 10. She smiled, and I could see when she had her mouth wide open. Her head held high to sing over everyone, was that a cry for help?

She had all her teeth, well her adult teeth, not counting the wisdom molars, I felt back with my tongue.

Sleeping Beauty, it was his favorite, but not the Disney version. I went back to read the brother’s Grimm version later. When I was a little older, I started growing up, and he stopped.

Coming in to tuck me in, and play Sleeping Beauty with me. I didn’t know that he was molesting me, of course. He wouldn’t tell me that, only that I couldn’t open my eyes. My hands across my flat chest, until he leaned over to kiss me.

“Goodnight,” I mean, “Amen.”

“Thanks be to god.” I let go of my dress. The front of it, where I’d been holding my hands. Over my heart, between the cups of my bra, and I leaned over to type. [Phoebe?]

I waited, but they were all watching the screen. Listening to the Prayer, and nodding along. Hoping that this pandemic would lift, and praying for the souls of those who were sick. Those we had lost, and that no more would be afflicted.

Because that’s how this works, right? “Thoughts, and Prayers.” I suppose you could say that I’d lost my fait, and my jaw itched. “Hm?” I checked my nails, and wiped the flake of dried blood off on my skirt. Leaning over to take another sip, and top off my glass so it would be ready for Communion.

My phone buzzed. “Phoebe, put that down, and pay attention.” Her phone, she showed it to her mom. My aunt, brother’s sister, who James had married. Gotten pregnant, and I don’t feel jealous.

[What’s up?]

“All right, but keep it down.” Her mom pushed her hand down, and Phoebe held it in her lap. Kept her head up, but her eyes down, tapping with her thumbs.

“Huh!” I braced myself. [Sleeping Beauty?]

She looked up, “Huh!” Eyes wide with fear, and I nodded. She shook her head, and texted back. [I don’t want to talk about that.]

[Okay, sorry I asked.] Satisfied that my suspicious were confirmed, she was the right age. Her teeth had all grown back, and she hadn’t yet started breaking out. She looked innocent, and of course she was, but I was not alone.

She didn’t have to tell me, anything. She wasn’t supposed to, of course. He never told me not to. That it would be our little secret, and I didn’t even know what to say. To my mom? I can’t look at her now, but she grew up with him. She had to know, something?

Why he liked Sleeping Beauty so much, and the way he told the tale. There was a little Rumplestiltskin mixed in, and it wasn’t an evil fairy. He was a Gnome, and the court fool, but he secretly worked for the King’s Wizard.

The one who cast the spell, so she was asleep. Put up rose bushes around the cottage so nobody else could get in, because if he couldn’t have her, he wouldn’t let anyone else.

Waving his hand over my eyes, so I’d close them. To this day, I don’t know whether he hypnotized me, I couldn’t bring myself to go see a hypnotherapist, even though I had one recommended, because I was scared.

Not of her, or what she could do when she put me under. Not even of finding out memories, he’d post-hypnotically caused me to forget, but of myself. I was afraid that I might like it, love it, and get addicted to that as well.

“Blood of Christ,” the pastor probably held up her cup. “The cup of salvation.” Phoebe had a little plastic cup of grape juice, but I downed the whole glass in a shot.

I don’t drink to forget. I drink to sleep, normally. “Huh!”

“Body of Christ.” I just munched on a cracker. “The bread of heaven.” Poured the last of it out, to wash down the dry saltine.

“Huh!” That done, I just killed the connection. Checked the webcam to make damned sure that I wasn’t broadcasting to anyone, and got up. Pulled my unbuttoned dress off over my head, and unhooked my bra. “Huh!” Felt up my hips, my ribs, and my bare breasts. Rubbing the lines left by the bra straps underneath.

Of course I’m hot, drunk, and horny. I don’t get horney when I’m drunk, damn it, I drank the whole bottle. Normally, it’s the cure for hot pants, but now I can’t close my eyes. Even wide open, I can’t get Phoebe out of my head.

Dressing for bed, and pulling the covers up under her arms. folding her hands over her flat chest, and closing her eyes. “Huh!” I had a panic attack, “Huh!” I need air, because I know now. Her father would come in to tuck her in. Tell her a story, and play Sleeping beauty with her. Kiss her so she could open her eyes, once he’d tucked it back in his pajamas, and left a mess beside the bed.

“Huh?” I looked up, when I saw someone out the window. “ShHhHit.” I grabbed my robe, and put it on shivering, then bent over to stick my head out. Holding onto the security bars. “What the hell are you doing out there?”

Some guy, standing on the corner, and inching around it. His back to the walls. 4 stories up, on a ledge.

“I don’t know.” he looked around, shaking his head, but he saw me. I pulled my head back in, and stuck my hands up. His voice sounded so quiet. He was pretty far away, but before he jumped.

I held my hands up to the window, and blew on it. “WHOOOO!” I drew my number on the fog, and blew on it again. And again, until he stopped shading his eyes with his hands, and pulled a phone out of his pocket.

“Hello?”

“There’s something outside my window. I don’t know what it is, but it’s a smudge, on the outside of the window.”

He sounded crazed, of course. “Good, I thought you’re just trying to see me naked.” I reached up, to slid the window down, and pulled at the ends of terry cloth, hanging in front of me. “Huh, since I’m always naked.”

“You are? I hadn’t been peeking into your window, I swear.”

“You just had to get out, and breathe some fresh air.” I guessed. “I understand that.” I shrugged out of one arm of my robe, and slipped the other off my arm. Holding the phone, I had to switch hands to drop it from my elbow. “You better go back inside, so we can talk?”

“Huh, yeah. That might be a good idea. I’ll call you back.”

“Be careful, watch for ice.”

“I will.” He hung up, and I took a deep breath. My shivers were gone, and I was surprised that even my heart had stopped pounding out of control. I felt it, but not though the rolled up blanket. The sheet folded over it, and the front of my night gown, I didn’t close my eyes.

“Don’t close your eyes.” I told myself. “Whatever happens, don’t close your eyes.”

He made it back inside safe, and called me back. “There’s no ice out there, it’s dry, and besides, the sun would have thawed it if there were.”

“I get it. I feel like I’m suffocating in here too, and I have thought about it before, but.” I had to take a breath, and one of my eyes blinked slowly all on it’s own. “Huh, I’m drunk.”

“Is that why you took off your robe?”

“No, I put it on to open the window, for some fresh air.”

“Huh, I should probably order some bars like that. I have to admit that I lied. There’s nothing outside my window.”

“I know.”

“I just, uh!” He sobbed.

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to think of anything to live for. Just keep living.”

“Does it help, does taking off your clothes help when you feel so alone?”

“No, I don’t. Honestly, I prefer to be left alone, I just don’t bother getting dressed, when there’s no place to go.”

“I’m being evicted.”

“What for?”

“I lost my job, I can’t pay rent, and my family cut me off.”

“Huh, I know how you feel. Even though I cut my family off. I just had to dress up in my Sunday best, and drank a whole bottle of wine just to get through it.”

“What did they do to you that was so bad?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re neglected.”

“Huh, no. I’m honestly not an Exhibitionist.”

“Nudist?”

“No, I was. Scared, and I wanted to tell them that, but I don’t even know you.”

“I don’t know you either, but you just saved my life. So, if there’s anything I can do to make you feel better.”

“Huh, yeah. You can call the police, and give them an anonymous tip?” There’s no connection between him, and anyone in my family. “Do you have something to write this down?”

“Hang on, let me get a pen.”

“All right.” While I’m still drunk enough to say this. “I know a man, and I have reason to believe that he’s molesting his daughter. His name is James Charleston, and he lives in Connecticut.” The more I said, the better I felt, and I suppose that all this time, I was afraid that if I let the monsters out, I could never get them back in, but I’m now asking a complete stranger to break up my aunt’s family.

To protect Phoebe, and her mother has a right to know. It will hurt my mom to find out, and so many other people, but Phoebe can not suffer in silence for even another year before she starts to break out, and grow into a young lady.

A young woman like me.

“Got it.”

“Huh!” I just fell back on the couch, dropped the phone, and tried to breathe enough to blow some of the alcohol out of my blood before I threw up, until I passed out…

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