My fatherly figure

Is having feelings for my mother’s ex, who is also my elder sister’s father and my professor, wrong?

Hello. I am Pritha and I need your help. I am very confused and the thing is the situation is itself very messed up. A year back, my life was normal but within the last six months, so many hidden truths have come to light that I really can’t figure out anything. I am a 19 years old girl and I live with my elder sister, Mishka, who is 21 years old and my mom, Tanvi, who is now 42 years old. My father had died when I was around 5 years old. I don’t remember much about him but I clearly remember how much he loved me. I was dad’s princess whereas Mishka was mom’s favourite. It is not that I never felt jealous of Mishka, I mean I felt bad when I saw mom putting her before me always but everyone has a favourite, don’t they? Whatever it was, we were living in peace and with respect. And then Mishka got engaged with my childhood crush, Navin. We were neighbours and I had loved Navin since childhood and could have never imagined him to have feelings for my elder sister but then, what can be done? I can’t describe in words how heartbroken I was when I saw he had bought his family with him to propose a marriage with Mishka di.
And then entered the most important person, Mr. Rishi. We first met at my college. His advice helped me bag the first scholarship of my life. And then I got to know he was our new professor. Although he was not in our department, we would cross paths once in a while. But I had no idea what was yet to come.
One day, I saw him and my mother in a heated argument. I was really tensed but then I chose not to interrupt. When I asked mumma about it, she told me nothing. Long story short, Mishka was his daughter and my mom was his childhood sweetheart. Back in the past, my mother was getting more and more scared of his anger issues and chose to run away. After shifting to the new town, she got to know she was pregnant. My father was actually her tuition teacher and after knowing of her situation, he proposed to marry her. They got married and had me.
And now, we are here. In fact, Rishi was here after spotting mumma on social media and wanted to know why she left her. While Mr. Rishi hated the fact that I was the fruit of his love’s marriage with another man, he could not hate me on account of the sweet moments we had shared earlier. Meanwhile Mishka’s wedding functions began. It did not take Mr. Rishi any time to see my love for Navin. He was by me all those time when my heart was getting crushed every second.
A couple of days later, Mr. Rishi asked me if I wanted to go to city and persue my education there. There wasn’t much scope for me in that small town and seeing Mishka with Navin was pricking my heart. By then, my relation with Mr. Rishi had strengthened. He had become a fatherly figure to me. Somewhere I too blamed my mumma for leaving him. He had been waiting for her for so many years. He did not marry anyone because he was still not over her, while my mother on the other hand, had built a family with another man.
But the problem was we did not have enough money for me to go and study in the city. It was then he suggested me to stay in his house for the time being and I could shift to the hostel after saving up.
I shifted with him and then this began. I don’t know how I started growing feelings for him. The way he was taking care of me gave me butterflies. Maybe because nobody had ever shown me affection like that in my entire life. He would make me breakfast, buy me dresses, tie my shoelaces and even take me on small dates. I knew he just wanted to make up for the love I had lost since my childhood when mumma preferred his daughter over me. It began with possessiveness and then with every passing second, I wished to be more and more closer to him.
I could only realise my feelings after I had my first kiss with him. It was just another night and Mr. Rishi was out for a party. But when his driver came to drop him till the door, I saw he was very much drunk. He had always been sober before. And then while struggling to take him to his room and pushing him to his bed, he suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me. He held my face in his hands and placed his lips over my lips. I was too shocked to react. He started to sucking my lips and I stood there like a statue letting him kiss him. If he hadn’t fallen asleep at that time, maybe I too would have gave in to the temptation. But the temptation was rising. The next morning was awkward but by the afternoon when I returned home from college, I had gathered myself and went straight to his room. He was sitting on the sofa, doing something on his laptop. I removed the laptop and sat on his thighs. I could see the shock in his eyes but it was now or never. I took his face in my hands and moved nearer to him to kiss his forehead. His eyes closed in anticipation. Then I placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. Rubbing my slender fingers across his cheeks, I joined our foreheads. My heart was leaping. I knew I wanted to do more but I did not know what to do more. And now suddenly, I was suddenly feeling scared. I was about to get up but he pulled me down by holding my waist and started kissing me. He was sucking the hell out of my lips, which was in turn getting me wet. I started kissing in back too, my arms wrapped around his neck while my fingers pulled his hairs. I could feel his hands exploring my body- pressing my breasts, pulling my nipples. Our lips were still together.
Suddenly I felt something hard pushing my pussy. I looked down and in a second, I realised it was his hard cock. We continued rubbing our bodies against each other for another minute before we parted. I don’t know why he stopped, but soon after he stopped, the realization doomed in.
I was making out with my mother’s ex-bf a second ago. I was ready to fuck my elder sister’s father. Holy shit!! And what if he was getting turned on by me just because I resembled my mother? Does he really want me or is he enjoying it just because I looked like my mumma?

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