Her name was Ashley

True love ignites between an adult male (22) and a preteen girl (10)

Her name was Ashley. She was the first girl I had ever met with that name, back in the early 90’s when the name was first becoming popular in the United States for baby girls. Ashley was 10 years old. I was 22. Gosh, that seems like a lifetime ago when I put it in black and white like that. Thirty years have gone by, and the memory is as fresh now as it ever was.

I fell in love with her immediately, and she with me. No, not in a step-father/step-daughter kind of way. Her mother and I weren’t even married and had only been shacked up for a couple of days, so there was no time for Ashley to view me as a step-fatherly kind of guy. I mean we fell in love in a way that nobody else will ever understand. Her mother was married to a real wimp of a man…skinny, nerdy, cowardly, gangly. How he ever fathered such a dazzling female child is beyond me. Maybe he didn’t, who knows? She didn’t look anything like him. Regardless, Ashley and I hit it off the moment our eyes met, and something happened between us in that moment that I can’t even explain properly. I’ll give it my best shot.

When I moved to her state from mine, I really didn’t know what to expect, but anything would have been better than where I had moved from. Shortly upon arriving, my cousin introduced me to a married couple who I’ll call Rob and Stacy to avoid any real-life coincidences. They had come over to my cousin’s house to play cards and have a few beers. Rob and my cousin had to go to the store to get food for a cookout and left Stacy there with me and my cousin’s wife. Almost as soon as Rob was gone, Stacy started flirting with me. The next thing I know, we’re making out in the laundry room, Stacy sitting on the washing machine while I stood between her knees. Stacy has her hands down my pants while I’m sucking on her neck like a vampire and squeezing one of her tits through her blouse. I don’t even recall what my cousin’s wife was doing at the time. She could have been excavating the living room floor looking for dinosaur fossils for all I knew.

We didn’t have time for much more. Knowing that my cousin was going to be back soon with Rob, Stacy and I broke it up and tried to pretend nothing happened. My cousin’s wife was floored but was totally supportive of Stacy and I hooking up. She didn’t like Rob much, it turns out. But it was crazy. I mean, I’m making out with a married woman who I had met not more than two hours earlier, and my cousin’s wife had no problem with it. I didn’t know how this was going to play out with my cousin when he got back, and how Rob was going to handle it. Of course, I knew that he wasn’t a threat, but exactly how Stacy was going to tell him or not tell him or whatever she decided to do was certainly piquing my curiosity.

They returned with the food shortly and we all enjoyed the cookout, Stacy and I casually flirting when nobody was looking…Stacy making coy gestures with her hotdog. At some point during the meal when I wasn’t paying attention, my wife’s cousin took him aside and explained to him what was going on. We all played horseshoes, card games, etc until it was dark. Rob and Stacy had to leave because they had two daughters to pick up from the babysitter’s house. I knew it wasn’t going to be the last I saw of her but didn’t want her to leave. She was so freaking hot! Beautiful brown wavy hair a little past her shoulders, green eyes that were so sharp they cut into your soul, thin little figure with just a handful of perky little tits.

I was right, though. It wasn’t the last I saw of her. After they left, my cousin couldn’t help razzing me a little about what his wife had told him. He was in disbelief and couldn’t wait to ask me about it. We talked for a little while and both of us wondered how it was going to play out. He told me that he and his wife talked all the time about maybe trying to get Stacy in bed with them for a threesome. Both of them had wanted to, but they had never gotten the nerve to ask her or even hint at it. While we were contemplating, there was a knock at the door. My cousin answered it and there she was, looking a little dazed and shell shocked but none the worse for the wear. The duffel bag made it apparent that she had told Rob about us, and she had packed a few things in haste. Her eye shadow was smeared as if she had been crying and had wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her shirt.

My cousin told her to come in, but she hesitated and looked back at the driveway. I asked her if she was okay, and she almost started crying again, her face contorting in that way that happens when a person is trying to stifle tears. I didn’t know what to do, but it must have dawned on my cousin why she had looked back at the driveway. He asked her where the girls were, and she pointed to the driveway, which is the first time I noticed or even thought about how she got there. A little silver Honda Civic was still running with the headlights on, and my cousin was off the porch in a flash. He opened one of the back doors and peeked in, and I heard him ask someone in the back seat if they were okay. Reaching into the car, my cousin appeared to be talking to a small female child and removing her from a car seat.

Meanwhile, Stacy and I moved from the porch to the car. She went to the opposite side of where my cousin was and opened the back door on the driver’s side. “You wanna meet someone, sweetie”? Stacy asked someone in the back seat. I heard another female voice, but couldn’t make out what she had said. Stacy put her hand out and helped her out of the car. My cousin was standing on the other side of the car, comforting a little girl who wasn’t crying, but was very shy. She apparently knew my cousin well enough to be comforted by him, but was put off by the situation. The little girl couldn’t have been older than three years old. The child that Stacy had helped out of the backseat was older, maybe ten.

That was the moment. The moment that changed my life. And hers, to be honest. Before this moment, I never really knew what love was. I had never really lived. Nobody had ever really been important to me and I had never had a meaningful relationship. I just thought I had. And while she was too young to have any life experience herself, her eyes and the gaze that held me in them told me that something was different for her, too. Something epic. Standing in front of me was the most delicate, beautiful, luscious oasis I had ever gazed upon.

“Ashley, this is Jamie” her mom said. “Jamie, meet my oldest daughter, Ashley”. And there she stood, staring back at me with those eyes. I’m not sure what Stacy was thinking at the moment, but she had to have had a WTF moment, wondering why we were staring at each other and frozen in our mutual glares. Realizing the awkwardness of it, Ashley propelled herself forward towards me, albeit measurably, to drag the moment out as long as possible. I understood, because I wasn’t quite done swimming in her eyes either and making the spiritual connection to her soul that only her and I could understand or feel.

“Hello Jamie, I’m so happy to meet you”, she said with her hand extended and a smile that was so brave and heartfelt that I was inspired by it. I didn’t bother shaking her hand. I took it in mine, knelt on one knee and looked right into her eyes and said “Ashley. What a beautiful name! I can’t tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you.” I pulled her to me and gave her a hug, maybe three seconds, and then went back to looking at her wonderful, flawless face. In the back of my mind, I understood that the way this introduction was going, it may look inappropriate to Stacy and my cousin if it lingered much longer. So I stood back up still looking at Ashley and said “I think you’re a very brave girl…I don’t think that I could have been so brave at your age under the circumstances”.

“You have a kind face and that helps” Ashley said, smiling widely. Her teeth were blazing white, and very straight for a girl that young, with several of them still half-grown in. Her lips were the color of Bing cherries, shiny, dark and supple, slightly puffy in the center while tapering down to small, gentle curves.

Stacy put her hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Thank you”, appreciative of my efforts to make Ashley feel safe. Even without the unexpected connection to this beautiful young girl, I knew I had to comfort the children and give them some sense of stability. I smiled at her and found myself putting my hand on her waist as if we were already an item. Which I guess after our short lustful interaction earlier and the consequential departure from her marriage, we now were. She returned the gesture, putting her hand around my waist as well.

My cousin interrupted the moment by inviting the kids into the house and said that he was in the mood for popcorn and a movie. That suggestion got a positive reaction from Ashley, who clapped her hands and yelled “POPCORN, YAY”. The youngest girl, who had been chewing on her fingers until then, also yelled “YAY”, although I’m sure she didn’t understand what was going on. A small smile crept across her face as she watched everyone else with timid caution. My cousin carried her back to the house and up the short flight of concrete steps while the rest of us followed.

It dawned on me that my cousin’s wife hadn’t joined us outside and I was curious to her whereabouts. When we walked into the house, she wasn’t in the living area, and it didn’t appear that she was in the kitchen either. My cousin yelled for her but didn’t get a response. So we all found a place to sit and started talking about the events of the day, doing it in circles so the kids couldn’t understand us. Ashley was intelligent and it was apparent just by looking at her that she was more aware than most kids her age, but she was still young enough to be more interested in the television than she was adult conversation. My cousin told her to pick a movie from the rack and put it in the VCR, knowing that she already knew how to use it. Which she did.

The three adults gathered around the kitchen table. My cousin brought out a deck of playing cards, not that any of us were interested in playing, but a gesture to make the kids think we were doing something other than discussing the day’s events. He told us to raid the refrigerator if we were hungry and that he’d be right back. So Stacy and I sat there holding hands and talking, kinda getting to know each other with an uncanny sense of comfortability. The kids had not seen us together in a romantic way yet, and we both agreed that we should not be overt about our attraction to each other until they got to know me better and got used to the idea that her relationship with Rob was over. Still, we could barely keep our hands and lips off of each other.

After a few minutes, my cousin returned and said that his wife was making up beds for the kids in one of the spare rooms. It’s funny how a woman’s instincts are different from a man’s because I would have never even thought of doing that until it was bedtime, and my cousin agreed that he wouldn’t have, either. When she finished, she joined us at the table. Talking in voices that wouldn’t considered whispering but not loud enough for the kids to hear, we discussed what had happened and what we thought about things going forward. It was clear that Stacy and I really had a connection, and that we planned to pursue that, wherever it may lead. Looking back, after all of the good and bad, I wouldn’t change a thing. Of course, I wish that it could have lasted forever, but not for the sake of being with Stacy. Although I fell in love with her and I miss her so much my heart still aches, I miss Ashley much, much more. The connection between Ashley and I that I mentioned earlier was strong and immediate, but what it turned into was genuine love between an adult male and preteen girl. And like I said, not the kind of step father/step daughter kind of thing. I mean full blown romantic, passionate, and yes, sexual.

I still have to estimate timelines, because it’s been so long ago. But for the most part, I think my guesses are pretty close. Close enough not to matter anyway. So when I say that it was around two months after that first day that Stacy and I moved out of my cousin’s house to move into our own place, it may have been a month and a half or it may have been three. We bought a little house on the other side of town from my cousin’s house, which was good because having lived there for a few months, things were getting kinda cramped, especially after Stacy and the kids arrived. We didn’t part on bad terms or anything. Just needed elbow room.

Things between Stacy and I were great for a long time. But not forever. The first year was maybe one of the happiest of my life. Not only did I get to know Stacy and fall head over heels for her, Ashley and I became very close in a way that I’ll never be able to explain.

During that first year, I l learned that Stacy had a very troubled past…raped and abused by her step father and his friends. Stacy told me that one of her escapes from those memories was drugs, which she hadn’t done in almost two years, and ironically, that led her to be trampy. It never made sense to me, but I guess it’s a thing…a girl being sexually abused in her preteen and teen years makes her want to go out and fuck every guy in sight to forget that she was used for sex. I don’t know. I’m not a girl and I’ve never been raped, so how can I judge that, right? To me, I think the drugs were the catalyst…she used them to forget, and when she was stoned, her inhibitions were lowered and the rest is history.

Either way, she had a past. In my naivety, I convinced myself that she was done with that life and things would be fine between us. And they were for a while. But a while doesn’t last forever. The demons of our pasts always find us, no matter how far we may run to escape them. Most of the time, they are never really gone but just hiding out in the deep recesses of our psyches, waiting until we’re the most vulnerable or the happiest to make themselves known again.

Stacy was no different in that regard. As a matter of fact, she was the epitome of damaged goods, the psychological specimen and the poster child for it. Don’t get me wrong. When things were good between us…all of the bills being paid on time, the kids getting good grades in school, when the cars were running fine…she was very pleasant and a treat to be around. But oh man, when things started getting just a little bit rocky, she’d fall apart. And I don’t mean break down and cry a little. I mean, she’d say that she was going out for groceries and then a come back home a week later with hickeys all over her neck and track marks on her arms.

Yes, I admit, a normal man would have left her outright. And a guy that would put up with that is a pussy. But I was neither normal or a pussy. I stayed because of Ashley. When Stacy first started pulling her little stunts of disappearing for a week at a time leaving me there with the girls, the normal part of me was just as enraged as any other guy would have been. But that gave me and Ashley time to bond. Eventually, it got to the point where Ashley and I both would rather Stacy disappear more often.

But way before Stacy ever started that behavior, Ashley and I were already bonding. Our conversation when nobody else was around was mind blowing, but we both knew that we had to be cautious and deliberate. Shortly after Stacy and I met, I’d say about two weeks, Stacy went to her sister’s house to play cards with some of their friends. She left the girls with me. It was the moment Ashley and I had been waiting for. Somehow, we both knew on some strange telekinetic level, that the other couldn’t wait to be alone with each other. And we were both right. As soon as Stacy’s car pulled out of the driveway, we flung ourselves into each other’s arms and hugged like we would never see each other again, not speaking at all because we had already had the conversation a hundred times with flirty glances and quick touches. We’d be standing in line at the grocery store, and I’d feel her hand slide under my shirt in the back and her small, soft hand rubbing my skin. Or I would put my head in her lap while she was playing video games, laying there rubbing her thigh gently. She would kiss my forehead occasionally while I lay there, not speaking a word, but I could still hear her whisper how much she loved me and wished she could have me all to herself. My mind would respond in kind, and we’d talk without ever saying a word. It was more than magic. It was spiritual.

Being alone with her for the first time, though, THAT was more than spiritual. It was even beyond physical. We both knew that something was about to happen that we would remember for the rest of our lives, and that no other human could understand. We were about to become one.

I looked down at her pretty face and she smiled; a small, furtive, seductive smile that was way too insinuating than a 10 year old should know how to make. Still though, it went through me like an armor-piercing bullet, shredding my heart and soul like a tree branch through a wood chipper. I knew I was hers. Her forehead was slightly moist with nervous sweat, and I’m sure mine was, too. I could hear my own pulse in my ears and that feeling you get when you’re close to passing out was engulfing me, and the only thing keeping me upright was holding on to Ashley’s little hips.

For the first time, we kissed. Those gorgeous young lips touched mine and I could hear her hum a little bit, purring almost like a kitten from the back of her throat in satisfaction. As the man and the adult, it was instinctive for me to take the lead, but that’s not even close to what happened. Ashley was in control, and I let her be. If it weren’t for her youth, I’d swear she had done this before. Her wet tongue darted in and out of my mouth, wrapping around mine and daring me to meet hers halfway. She tasted so good that I don’t have the words to describe it. I was making out with a 10 year old, and nothing in the world could convince me that it was wrong. The humming sound she made continued, and I could feel the vibration in my own mouth, forcing me to make little grunting noises of my own.

Ashley pulled me down to the carpet, beneath the air conditioning unit below the window. I felt her tiny hands pulling my shirt over my head, and while she was taking it off, she started kissing my chest. I remember telling myself that when this was over, I was going to check her room for porno movies because there’s no way that she could have learned this anywhere else. When my shirt was completely off, she sat on top of me with her butt on my hips and removed her own top. I kept my hands on her hips, and I could feel her grinding herself into me while she removed her training bra. It was the most erotic moment in my life; Ashley half-naked looking down on me with that determined look, inspecting my reaction for approval. When she saw what she was looking for, a lustful smile of appreciation from the adult male that she was seducing, she laid down on my chest and began sucking my neck like a vampire. I even felt her teeth bite into me briefly and knew that she was going to leave a mark. But I didn’t care. To me, a hickey is like a person marking the other’s territory and for all intents and purposes, I now belonged to Ashley. I was hers to mark.

My hands found their way up to Ashley’s small but developing breasts. Her nipples were puffy, years away from maturity. The prepubescence made me all that much hungrier for her little body, and to mark her like she had marked me, just in a different way. While she sucked my neck, I reached down to pull her skin-tight, tiny cut-off jeans down and felt her panty line; a thin wisp of laciness that, before even seeing them, I knew were white. She helped by reaching down and unbuttoning the shorts and wiggling her cute little bottom while I tugged downward. The panties came off with them, and I threw them somewhere into the living room.

She wanted me to see her. Her mind was always seeking my approval, although she knew in advance that I would be pleased. She wasn’t wrong. Ashley knew that when I looked at her naked little body, that I had never seen anything more beautiful and that nothing had ever turned me on so much. And she could feel that through my own jeans. Her little hips rocked back and forth, rubbing her virginity against my crotch, still making that humming sound except deeper now and with more urgency.

I watched as her hairless little mound pushed against me, her fingers working as fast as they could to unbutton my jeans. She didn’t want to spoil the surprise, though, by seeing me with my jeans halfway pulled down. I watched as she closed her eyes and worked them downwards, until they got so far that I could kick them off myself. Then, almost as if she was treating herself to her own surprise party, she opened her eyes. I then found myself looking for the same expression on her face that she had been looking for in mine when she revealed her nakedness to me.

But I had seen a lot of naked women in my life, as young as I was. As far as I knew, Ashley had never seen a naked man, or a penis for that matter. I knew what to expect when I saw her, even if she was hairless and immature. What did she expect? What did she already know about a man’s body? Had her mom talked to her about those things, or had she seen pictures? So I looked into her face and read what I saw there, watching her connect the dots of how a man’s body works in tandem with a woman’s. It didn’t take long, and I knew that she had never seen this before. And wanting it to be more special for her than it was for me, I smiled at her softly and told her that it was going to be okay.

My tenderness for her feelings and what was about to happen moved her emotionally. She knew that I knew that a little girl has a lot more to lose than a guy at any age when losing their virginity, and my understanding of that touched her heart. She knew that this wasn’t just about me, an adult male, taking advantage of a little girl for the purposes of sexual gratification, and that it was more about the physical act of an emotional bonding of two hearts combining as one to complete one soul. The knowledge that it wasn’t about sex made it all that much more physical, if you can grasp that concept.

Her soft, smooth young body lay down on top of me again, kissing my neck fervently and constantly. I held the back of her head while she kissed me and felt her grinding her pussy against me, wanting to feel my penis rub against her. The image of her moist slit parting against my now rock hard shaft made me crazy, and I in turn bucked back against her thrusts. My hands were on her back, pulling her harder into me. At some point, I lowered my hands to her butt cheeks and cupped them in my hands, squeezing them softly and enjoying the softness of her skin. I let my fingers slide between her cheeks and for the first time, touched the wet tenderness of her vagina.

Ashley whimpered. She stopped kissing my neck and just lay there with her head on my chest, allowing me to touch her virgin body, feeling the newness of a man’s penis against her tender mound from the front and the touch of his fingers from the back. I felt her fingers dig into my chest and heard the humming intensify in her throat. Her breathing shallowed into small guttural bursts as if she had just finished running. She arched her butt cheeks up a little bit to give me better access, and my fingers found the entire length of her slit soaking wet with preteen moisture. As I rubbed her clit, she brought one hand up to my face and put one digit of her index finger into my mouth. I don’t why she did that. It may have been a subconscious desire for my mouth to be involved in the process, I don’t know. I just let her do what she wanted.

Without moving her head from my chest, I heard her whisper “I’ve never felt this way before”, almost weakly, sheepishly. As her body twitched and shivered from my touch, I knew that I was giving this little 10 year old girl her very first orgasm. As the feeling intensified for her, she raised herself up on her arms above me, her brown hair dangling around my face and creating a miniature tent around my head. Her brown eyes locked with mine as the orgasm mounted . I breathed the breath that she exhaled, and she breathed mine back, continuing the process of becoming one. She began to moan with pleasure, rocking her pussy against my fingers with more and more pressure, growing louder and louder until all at once, she collapsed on top of me, sweaty and exhausted.

She started giggling. Just a little schoolgirl kind of giggle. I smiled because I knew how she felt; the energy of an orgasm wearing off and the release of emotion that follows. She lay there for a couple of minutes catching her breath, and I was content to let her, my hand stroking her hair. I could smell the scent of her shampoo.

When she gathered her senses, she raised up on her arms while straddling me, her little pussy resting on my dick. Our eyes met, and I didn’t quite know at that moment what to do. Had it been with any other female on the planet, the next move would be obvious. But not with Ashley. Besides me wanting her to remain in control, she wasn’t a sex object to me and I didn’t want to treat her as such. Whatever happened, I wanted her to be comfortable with, and not knowing yet what that may be, it was difficult for me to know how to proceed. Also, part of my uncertainty was because of her inexperience and not knowing how much she knew about sex. Did she also know about a guy’s need for release, and if not, then what? If so, then what? And since she had just gotten off, would she still feel like moving things to the next level?

All of these things were running through my mind, and she seemed to sense that. Returning the same comfort that I had given her a few moments earlier, she smiled and said, “It’s going to be okay”. When she said that, my heart melted for her because I knew then that everything between us was genuine…that the questioning I had done of my feelings for this child were all for naught, and that this was truly okay. It wasn’t just my imagination, and I wasn’t just another pedophile making excuses to molest a little girl. The connection was too real for that, and her remembering to comfort me exactly as I had comforted her proved that we were becoming one in a natural, spiritual way, and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.

She watched my face as those thoughts whirled through my mind, and as if a ticker tape of the words in my head scrolled across my eyes like a television screen, she read my mind. She knew. Ashley actually knew what I was thinking, and I was learning how to know what she was thinking. The realization of this was too much. Our lips locked again in perfect timing and our tongues danced in each other’s mouths like the wettest, wildest, wickedest tango ever. My earlier sense of confusion about what should happen next was completely hijacked by a knew knowledge of what had to be done. Ashley reached down between us and grabbed my dick, rubbing the tip of it against her clit. The sensation caused her to groan; an animalistic sound that would have been scary under any other circumstance, However, now it just made me harder and hornier.

I could feel my dick moving up and down her wet slit, bumping against her clit on the way up and parting her preteen pussy lips on the way down. For a split second, I wondered if she knew that it had to be inside her, then I remembered our new connection and realized that she had already sent the answer to that question back to my mind. It was a clear yes, and she was steeling herself for the actual act, building up her courage in the form of horniness, so to speak.

Then it happened. It wasn’t at all like I thought it would be. Suddenly, I was inside her. She didn’t scream in pain or even wince. The look on Ashley’s face was sheer bliss. Her little hips bounced up and down instinctively on my cock, and I knew that she knew what this was about. She rode my dick as hard as she could, and it felt like I was pushing my dick through the eye of a needle. I glanced down and saw a trickle of blood on the base of my manhood, and for some reason, that made me happy. Her little hand dropped down to her clit and rubbed it fiercely, her groans changing into inaudible words. I could tell that she was cumming, but I wasn’t going to. Not yet. We had all day and I was going to make the most of it.

When I felt that Ashley had done enough of the work, I rolled her over and showed her how it felt to be on the bottom. Her little legs parted as far as she could get them. The view from that position was almost too much for me. I looked down and saw my dick plunging in and out of a hairless preteen’s pussy while she played with her clit and came all over me, the fluids from her pussy mixing into a reddish puddle on her belly. My shaft was now covered the blood from her now destroyed hymen. Ashley was now so deep into her orgasm that her face was turned sideways on the carpet with two fingers on her lower lip.

Several things happened at this point that made me lose control. Ashley’s orgasm was constant, and in her excitement to prolong it, she arched her back, pushing her groin in the air. At the same time, she started whispering very loudly “Fuck me daddy, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, daddy fuck me.” I had never heard her use the f word before, and in this context, it just drove me crazy! But what happened next was beyond anything that I could have dreamed of. Ashley dropped the arch in her back, forcing us back down to the carpet. She wrapped her legs around me and squeezed our bodies together, then whispered in my ear. “Fuck me as hard as you can”. So I did. I felt my dick battering her little cervix, and she loved it! Every time my cock crashed into it, she let out a little squeal of pleasure. I felt her biting my neck again, but still letting those little sounds escape as I pounded her pussy as hard as I could.

“This. Feels. So. Good”, she said between thrusts. “Don’t. Ever. Stop. Fucking. Me.” I couldn’t handle it. This was a ten year old girl whom I took to school every day telling me to never stop fucking her. A child whom I was babysitting. A little girl who didn’t have pubic hair yet, and had never had a period. Until tonight, she had never seen a penis. Now my cock was buried deep inside her, poking against her cervix while she was begging me to never stop fucking her and calling me daddy.

Another conversation happened between Ashley and I in our minds. She knew that I was going to have the same feeling that she was having, and because I now knew that she didn’t yet know what that meant for a guy, my mind conjured up the images for her and she absorbed them with her own intelligence. As my cock exploded semen all over her little undeveloped uterus, she could feel the warmth of my cum coat her insides and squeezed her thighs together as if trying to squeeze as much from me as she could. I pictured images of my sperm swimming towards her cervix and diving into her womb, seeking to fertilize her and fill her belly with my baby. She whispered out loud “I would love that so much. I would love to have your baby”. When I looked down at her, there was a single tear in her eye and as I began to wonder about it, I felt a tear leave my own eye and saw it drop onto her neck, right under her earlobe. Her tear ran down her face and gravity caused it to run along her jawbone and meet up with my own tear under her ear; two tears of joy mingling together, becoming one….

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