Am I a cheater

Out fantasy got real, did I read it all wrong.

So I’m 35 husband 40, he is the only guy I had ever been with and been together since school.never wanted to cheat, never even thought about it. We were happy our life was good and sex life was great.
One night during sex my husband started talking about me being fucked by a stranger. Was kinda strange at first but a week later we were both talking about it every time we had sex and made us both cum very hard.
Thursday night while we were in the heat of it he started telling me that when I’m out with the girls tomorrow night ( I go out with the girls ever Friday night ) to fuck a complete stranger let him cum inside then come home so i can play with your cum filled pussy. As he said that I cum so hard so did he then we both fell asleep.
Now these things were never spoke about anytime apart from when we were having sex, so put it down to pillow talk fantasy type of thing.
So Friday night at the bar my friends all dancing and I’d spent the night as usual batting hands off my ass and chest ( it’s crazy it’s like sexual assault don’t exist in clubs,once saw a woman asleep in a corner pissed getting fingered by some stranger while her husband was at the bar ) anyway looking around I thought it would be soo easy do give my hubby what he wanted and giggled to my self and carried on with the hand dodging.
I get home crawl into bed next to my husband kissing him slowly waking him up as I was horny lol, straight away he is hard in my hand as he starts kissing me back telling me how he can’t wait to slide into my cum filled pussy and did it feel good fucking a stranger. Being drunk and super horny hearing this I went along saying it was so good and he filling me up with cum, with that he was on top of me hard as a rock and as he put it in his face kinda dropped and he held still, I asked what’s wrong and he said he thought I’d actually given him what he wanted when it was clear I hadn’t, I said I’m sorry and he just pumped a few times cum then went to sleep, I was laying confused cum leaking out of me realising I’d just had the worst sex we had ever had.
The next week was kinda uneventful still had sex every night but the talking had stopped, it was still good but missed the hardness if him and how wet I got when we did talk, then Thursday night there it was again, telling me tomorrow to fuck somone else and come home and put his hand on my pussy so I can feel all the cum then get ontop and slide my fucked cum filled pussy down his cock. My god did I cum hard I went dizzy and sure I blacked out of a second, safe to say I fell straight to sleep.
So Friday night I’m thinking fuck it I’m going to do it I don’t want another week of ok sex I want it like last night, looking around no one takes my fancy so start doing shots and hit the dance floor. Straight away a hand on my butt, I go to hit it away then stop myself and give a little wiggle, still dancing I now grind up against him as he puts his arm around onto my stomach, i turn then burst out laughing as he looked like my dad, it wasn’t him but looked like him, I said sorry pushed him aside and went back to the bar.
I few more shots and the club was near closing and I was getting drunker and more desperate, all that was left that was viable was a group of 18year olds celebrating a birthday, I started talking to one at the bar he was nice, young but nice, he was soba telling me he was his mates driver for the night. Being drunk I was over open about things when he asked if I’d been having a good night, I laughed and said no it’s been crap and not even got sex at the end if it lauging. He just said he can help with the last bit, his car was in the car park and his mates were getting ready to go next door to the strip club, even said he can drop me home after I had to laugh gentlemanly of him.
I grabbed on purse ran kissed my girls bye and left with him. Walking to the car was awkward silent and I said I don’t want to know your name or anything about you this is a one off, he just said that’s fine. We got in to his people carrier that was hired for the group, straight away I wanted it over and done with, I didn’t really want to do this at all but it’s what my husband wants so here I am, I pull his cock out of his pants while he is awkwardly rubbing at my pussy and kissing me, I’m shocked at the size and say fuck out loud, it was massive, I’m not just saying that it was huge, I know I’d only had my husband but this thing was a monster, he laughed pushing my head towards it, but nowhere in our fantasy was any head involved so I pulled back saying no, not that I would have been able to fit it in my mouth anyway, I lay back across the seats and pull off my panties, he was rubbing between my legs getting what looked like a cricket ball up and down my slit getting it extremely wet despite me not wanting to do this, he then stops saying he don’t have a condom I say it’s fine you can cum inside me, with that he pushes into me slowly the head stretches into me kinda hurt, I look down and the head is in and is now deeper and fuller then I’ve ever been, he held still for a minute me feeling like I’m literally about to split open, it felt like I was losing my virginity all over again, then it started, he pulled nearly out and started pounding, I couldn’t think straight and couldn’t catch my breath and was making weird sex noises, don’t get me wrong i love sex noise but this was involuntary noises, I didn’t want to make them they were just happening, it wasn’t long before there was a sudden hard push that hurt like hell and then about 5 hard pulses inside me, I signed glad it was over and shocked about how much cum was inside me, he cum a ton. I grabbed my panties put them trying to concentrate on not letting the cum come out, which was no easy task on the drive home, I get him to drop me off and we both say thanks and that’s it, as clinical as that I get out he drives off I go in.
Undressing in the bedroom doorway watching my husband sleep I keep my panties on, I pull them out for a quick look and it’s red swollen glistening with another man’s cum.
I lay down next to him on my back put his hand just inside my panties, (I feel empty after that cock but still full knowing the majority of his cum hasn’t yet come out), and kiss him slowly, he opens his eyes smiles at me and I say you ready to fuck my filled pussy. He pulls his hand out holds my face and says baby can we talk about somthing else from now on, that fantasy doesn’t really do it for me anymore.
My heart beats so I can hear it, I feel sick, what have I done, have I cheated, he then says he don’t feel to good and wants to sleep, kisses me truns and goes to sleep, I’m sitting there a state of shock trying to get my brain to work out what has happened, I slide to lay back down numb from alcohol tears running down my cheek as i drift off I feel the biggest amount of cum gush out of me into my panties, so much I feel it leak through my panties and down my butt cheeks, I sob myself to sleep.

Next morning I wake up, fist thing I notice how sore I am down there and my tummy hurts, look over and my husband has already got up, I got out of bed and see a very wet patch on the sheet knowing it was the cum that had been leaking out of me through the night I grabbed them balling to wash disgusted with the fact there was another man’s cum on our bed, funny looking back that, that disgusted me at that moment more then the fact I’d had another man’s cum inside me.

In the kitchen making myself a coffee and husband comes up behind me wrapping his arms around my stomach, kissing my neck he says sorry we didn’t have sex last night he felt sick for some reason but not to worry he will make it up to me tonight, then says he has been thinking of another role play and goes to put this hand down my panties, I quickly pull his hand out worried as I’m still sore and sticky, he calms me says don’t worry its not another guy we have done that to death, I turn kiss him and head off to take a bath.

I slowly gently lower into the bath hoping the hot water sooths my tummy and vagina, I look down gently examining myself notice it is still rather red and swollen, I gently run my fingers further down amd feel my hole the entrance is still open, I’m suddenly worried that my husband is going to know when we have sex its obvious. I sit and have a good cry and soak.
Bed time approachs and I head to the bath room for a quick check, the pain had gone through out the day just not the tummy ach, I held my breath reached under, slid a finger and it went straight in, I went stiff with fear he is gonna know. I went to our room white as a sheet and visibly shaking, when my husband says i dont look well he thinks I’ve caught what he had lastnight as says he said get some sleep hope it’s a 24hr thing.
What am I going to do we never go this long without sex.

There’s bound to be mistakes I’m no author so please be kind.

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