I Have A Question?

I have a question. As I’ve got older and as I’ve had experiences that have revealed amazing things to me. For instance, I’ve been married a long time. I was a very...

I have a question. As I’ve got older and as I’ve had experiences that have revealed amazing things to me. For instance, I’ve been married a long time. I was a very loose, sexual young girl, teen, older girl and even now, I’m still into sex. After I got married, I tried to be the perfect wife. I tried to behave like a lady, even in bedroom. I didn’t want to reveal to my husband things I liked because, I thought it wasn’t lady like and thought he wouldn’t like me behaving like “that”.

He was very much like me. He sexed me in the usual ways, missionary style, doggie style, stuff like that. I hated someone giving me oral sex. I don’t know why but, I never had anyone that did it to me, turn me on. All I felt was embarrassed during the whole thing. I didn’t want a tongue down there, I wanted a dick. But, that’s just me. We never talked during sex, we just fucked and breathed hard. 😂

It wasn’t until a friend of mine told my husband, I had fucked this guy that, things changed for me and my husband. After he found out I cheated and we made up, while he was fucking me one night he started asking me questions about my affair. It only took a minute to realize this was turning him on. I knew because, his dick got as hard as a rock in my pussy. When that happened it turned me on too.

Then, he started asking me about all my sexual experiences. How old I was when I lost my virginity, who did it to me, who was inappropriate with me as a child, how many guys had I fucked, had I fucked more than one at a time, how many different guys in one day, how many since we’d been married and who they were, did I suck their dicks? All of this was being said while we were fucking. Our sex life had come more alive than, when we first got married. He wanted to fuck me all the time, I think probably to ask me more questions plus, the excitement he felt during. I know I loved it.

He started telling me he thought I was easy, an a slut and that he LOVED that I was a slut, his slut. I fucked him on our first date. He loved that I liked fucking and couldn’t say no, evidently. It also made me become more myself instead of the prim, proper little wife I had been trying to be. Why was I doing that? So, my question is, why do we hide or misrepresent ourselves to our mates? It took us years to reveal what really turned us both on and to be able to be the people we were. He is of the caveman type. My wife was wanted and had by many men but, I got her so, I must have got a good one. In other words he won. I am a loose woman who loves sex and I can turn my husband on talking about me being me.

I’ve never told a man what I like during sex. It’s like I’m afraid or inhibited to say, I like being held down and force fucked, I like rough sex, I like being dominated in bed. Make me suck your dick, demand you cum in my mouth, tie my hands together, forbid me to move during sex, fuck me hard by ramming it in me. This is what I like but can’t find the courage to say the words. Why am I lime this? He told me he didn’t care if I fucked other guys, as long as I came home and told him about it, when it happened. I’ve done it a few times. Come in with a pussy full of cum and he fucks me so hard. He even gets a little rough with me. I think he’d like to hurt me some but, just can’t do it. I know we have the best sex when I fuck somebody else. I love my husbands dick. It’s nice and thick and 7″ or so long so, it’s not like he doesn’t satisfy me because, he does. Still, why am I like this?

Maybe my up bringing of a religious background, being touched and fucked at a very early age. I don’t know but, I wonder why. Even where we are now in our sex life, I can’t say to him force me, make me, fuck me hard. I wish I could. I want it done to me without asking. I know that’s unfair to him.

I know I never shared certain things to men because, I never wanted them to be able to say those shared things, to other people. Like in today’s society of sharing naked pictures of each other. I would never do that even though I would like to just because, you can’t always trust the people you’re dealing with. Now, they can share it with millions in one skinny minute. And, your personal moment is public. That’s horrible.

I was just wondering if anybody has any thoughts on why we’re like this? Why’s it so hard to express ourselves, even to our mates.

Any thoughts?
Thanks for listening and responding if anyone does. I appreciate others opinions.

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