How I found myself and fell in love

How I became Emma and met the love of my life who just so happened to be my moms boyfriend.

Hi reader let me introduce myself, I am Emma and I am trans (MtF).
This story takes place when I was 13, I am now 19.

I have known I was trans since I was very little. My mom a single mother and born again Christian. Hated it and did everything to make a man out of me. She beat me with a belt when she caught me trying on my friends dresses. She held me down and cut off my hair when I tried to grow it out. By the time I was 12 she had decided that the best way to ensure that I would be a man was to provide me with a male role model. She tried to accomplish this by dating a series of masculine alpha males. Most of these relationships didn’t last long at all. Until she met David they had been dating for about 2 weeks when she introduced me to him.

It was at that moment I realized my mom and I had very similar tastes in men. He was 6’2 muscular broad shoulders and thick muscled arms. He had a face like it had been ripped from a story book about a handsome prince. Dark hair with green eyes that could make your heart stop beating. With a smile that curled up and pushed his lips out. It was his smile that would make my knees week.
At 5’2 with a slight build blue eyes and light brown hair in as close approximation of a pixie cut as I dared in my house. I felt myself turn beet red as she made the introductions. Suddenly i was very aware of my outfit my hair and how I must look to him. Like a young man and at once I was overcome by a wave of embarrassment at how I looked and of jealousy for my mothers relationship with him. With little pieces of desire and envy tucked in there for good measure.
He was kind and calm, always calm no mater what, like he was secretly in control of anything and everything. He introduced himself as David as I stumbled out a pleased to meet you I’m Nathan trailing off as I did so, so my name was hard to hear. He said it was a pleasure to meet me as well and shook my hand. His hand taking mine felt like someone had electrocuted me every hair on my body stood on end. I did my best to hide all of these new feelings.
We sat down for dinner and I honestly don’t remember much of it. I was a mess of emotions mostly nervousness and embarrassment but fought through it to be as nice and attentive as I could. After dinner I was sent to my room to do homework and get ready for bed. I couldn’t focus on my home work at all I could think about was him. How unfair it was that someone like him would be with the worst person I knew.
With nothing to be done I went to sleep and let things go as best as I could. Trying to push down my crush was a useless endeavor that the next few months would make clearer and clearer with every day.
Whenever I could get away with it and mother was at work Id put on light make up and lip gloss and wear the most feminine clothes I could around the house. Tight shorts that showed off my one appreciable asset my cute heart shaped butt. I continued to let my hair grow out as much as I dared.
The entire time he was nothing but sweet and supportive even recognized me as trans and when mom wasn’t home used she/her pronouns. When I did something right or he was proud of me he would say good girl. The first time he said that I thought I would melt into a puddle of happy goo and be content the rest of my life. We grew closer and closer by the day I became happier and happier but there was still the ripping angry green jealousy that would burn through my stomach every time I saw them kiss, or say I love you.
I had discovered masturbation by this time. I even realized this could be done with a vibrator. Which I liked immensely better then the other way, as I had grown to hate this part of me that caused me so much pain and dysphoria. One night as I lay in bed trying to sleep but unable and thinking of masturbating when I heard them through the wall. It started out with soft moans it didn’t take me long to realize the moans were coming from David. I put my ear to the wall as my heart beat like a jack rabbit.
Ohhh that feels good mmm keep doing that. oh my god your mouth is amazing. For a second I was too turned on to remember it was my mom with him. She must have been giving him a blow job. Which made me both jealous and aroused. I continued to listen while trying to imagine him saying these things to me. My hands running over my body as I listened and imagined. Biting my own lip to keep from moaning. Picturing what his cock must look like what it must taste like how hard it my feel. it wasn’t long until they had switched to sex. I heard my mom gasp as he entered her. I didn’t even process that in my mind, it was me he was with. My hand snaked under the mattress and came back with the old electric toothbrush base that I had taken apart and unbalanced so it vibrated even more. I began moving it along my clitty in time with the sounds coming from the other room. As I heard him moan he was about to cum, I did so hard my legs spasmed and my butt came off the bed and I had to turn my face into my pillow as I whimpered in ecstasy. It took me about 5 minutes to come to my senses and clean up my mess.
The next day at school I paid a girl who understood my situation to get me a vibrator a real one. She told me it would take a week or so and it was the longest week of my life. I just couldn’t get David out of my head. I couldn’t focus on school food or my hobbies. On Friday she slipped the box into my bag. I managed to keep it hidden all the way home ran to my room and looked at it. It was realistic and about 6 inches long. She had even put a bottle of lube in the box.
I was alone and knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I got into an old one of David’s shirts I could smell him as examined and played with my new purchase. I practiced sucking it making myself gag and cough and choke. After about 30 minutes of trying i had only managed to suck the first 4 inches but promised myself I would get better. I went to the bathroom and prepared like it said I should do online before trying what I was about to try. I got back to my room as quickly and as quietly as possible. No one was home but I was still so nervous about getting caught. Once back in my room I pulled my legs to my chest and rubbed the lube on both my hole and on the vibrator. Before turning it to low and working it slowly into myself. It hurt a little at first kind of a burning sensation as it pushed into me. I thought about stopping but David’s smell drove me on. Soon I was pumping it in and out of me again and again as I moaned and shook moaning David again softly over and over. It took awhile but soon I saw stars and my body tensed and I came all over my stomach.
I cleaned up and hid everything in a vent in my room behind my bed. I pushed the bed back in place and snuck quietly out and stashed David’s shirt back in the laundry. Little did I know he had seen it but I would not know till later.
My mom got a big promotion a couple weeks later and she would be working more hours and even having to go on work trips. I could not be happier each moment she wasn’t here I felt I could breathe and each moment she was i felt like I was suffocating. Because of this new promotion she would be gone for 2 days on training. David agreed to watch me it was a school week so only had to babysit me in the evenings and in the morning make sure I got ready and went to school.
That first day of her training when I got home from school. I heard David ask me to come to the living room. The AC was on but the thought of David had me feeling like the heat was on I was sweating and trying to keep my thoughts calm. I sat on the chair across from the couch and looked at him expectantly.
I know your mom wants you to be a man he started. I prepared myself for the talking to I expected was coming. Instead I heard him say I know you aren’t and never will want to be a man and that’s ok. What was this compassion and understanding fuck I am not ready for this, hate anger, rage and hemophobia I was ready for, but this. What do you want to be called because I know its not Nathan? I felt something catch in my throat my eyes got misty and for a second I couldn’t talk. I managed to squeak out I am Emma. That is a beautiful name. Nice to meet you Emma. At hearing him say my name the one I had picked out and maybe told one friend I started crying. As I did he came over sat on the arm of the chair and rubbed my back saying it is ok let it out Emma. Which just made me cry harder I managed to stop after a minute or two. Mostly because of embarrassment and wondering how bad I must look to him.
When i was able to stop sobbing he brush my hair back and went back to sit on the couch. I cant do much about it when your mom is here but now that you will have more time with her working and away I thought you might like to have some time being who you really are. If you would like I can even take you to go get a few outfits.
I didn’t know what to say or what to do or how to process all these feelings. So I took several deep breaths before pushing past the lump in my throat to let out a squeaky thank you, I would like that very much. He also handed my a bottle of multi-vitamins saying I know that bottle says multi vitamins but its actually estrogen and a testosterone blocker called Spironolactone. You don’t have to take them but you deserve to have a choice. I wasted no time and took one of each pill and my water bottle from my bag and washed them down. Having a choice felt amazing, like someone lifted a huge weight from my back.
How can I have outfits my mom will find them and I will be in so much trouble? David always in control looked at me and said I know that is why while you were at school today I made a locking false bottom for your bottom dresser drawer. It wont hold much but maybe 2 or 3 outfits no shoes I’m afraid. I looked at him then tears in my eyes and held his green eyes. Thank you so soo much I can never ever repay you. This means more to me then you can ever know.
Enough of that sniffling lets go get you some clothes. He handed me a tissue and then helped me to my feet. I was suddenly very aware how close he was to me. I don’t know if I blushed but I felt like I must have looked bright red in that moment. I excused myself to the bathroom and came back out with my face fixed hair done and with freshly applied lip gloss. I looked as girly as I could. Nervous about the store and buying clothes afraid that someone would call me out.
Thankfully that is not what happened after a quiet ride to the store he took me to the juniors section and let me shop. I picked out a pack of panties just plain cotton panties in various pastels. A yellow sundress with small flowers on the print. when I tried it on I kept spinning and spinning laughing until i thought someone was going to call someone or I was going to make myself sick with dizzy. I also got a padded bra not that i had anything there but it gave the illusion. I also picked out a night shirt and a cute skirt and top with knee high socks. It wasn’t a lot but it would fit in the false bottom of the drawer.
We stopped for something to eat and then went home. I carefully took the tags off and threw them in the outside trash. Washed the clothes because I wouldn’t get another chance likely for a few weeks. We watched a movie and talked and cuddled on the couch. Soon it was time for bed and I put on the nightie and a pair of panties and came and gave David a kiss on the cheek and wished him good night.
The whole next day I felt like I was floating. David saw me as who I am. I am a girl. I am Emma. This is what life was supposed to feel like. Even if I couldn’t wear the clothes to school knowing they where there when i got home made me so happy. As soon as i got home I changed out of my school clothes took a shower shaved every part of myself put on body lotion did my hair as best I could spent awhile listening to music and doing my make up just right before pulling my sun dress carefully over my head and smoothing it out. Admiring myself in the mirror smiling as I looked completely passable now with the help of the padded bra.
Just then the phone rang. It was David he would be back late from work so I was on my own till he got back. I decided to try to give back to him and cooked an amazing dinner that I had just finished when he got home. I greeted him at he door in my dress and did a little spin and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before running off again. Dinner will be out in a minute just take a seat and relax David. I hustled off as he made himself more comfortable.
Setting dinner down at both our places. This smells amazing Emma you didn’t have to do this. Yes I did because you didn’t have to do this I indicated my outfit with a flourish. Placing my plate in front of me I sat down at his side. Reaching up to light a candle so we could see better. He dived into the dinner hungry after working. I could barely eat how could David look even better in the light of a candle. As he finished we talked and chatted about our day. As things tapered off I announced I would clean up and he should go take a shower. He agreed and I cleaned up and washed the dishes putting them away neatly like i never did. I heard the shower running as I finished drying. An image of David showering his soapy strong hands rubbing over his body and wondering what his cock must look like.
I knew I had to know he had left the door cracked and I made sure that as I heard him get out of the shower I was walking by just in time to see. Omg it was better than I imagined he wasn’t hard but it was perfect pink and clean and from what I could tell soft was about the same size as my toy. I looked back up and realized he saw me looking I dashed to my room and closed the door shouting good night. That night I used my toy again this time i got it past my gag reflex and into my throat imaging it was David.
The next few weeks were misery as my mom was home every night and I was stuck back being a boy. It felt like i had become a butterfly and was forced to go back into being a caterpillar. The only thing that kept me going was David’s smile and the knowledge of the clothes just hidden away ready to be worn. Until one night mom came home and told us both at dinner that she would be going to oversee a new store opening and would be gone for 14 days.
It was going great through most of the first week. I could be myself and even went out of the house a few times as myself not forced into boy mode. I got a few looks but no one seemed to clock me. At night we would have dinner and watch a show or a movie and it was the happiest I had been for as long as I could remember.
That Friday night Dave got a text from his friend who was a bartender at a hotel in the city that my mom was at for the store opening. Letting Dave know that he saw my mom making out with someone and sent a pic. It was her boss and I saw David’s heart break. This man who always seemed in control of everything suddenly slumped and looked defeated.
I couldn’t believe it my mom who always acted so superior was cheating on the man she said she loved. I did my best to calm David down told him that I’m sure it must be an accident that she loved him and that he was the best thing to ever happen to us. after a few he calmed down a bit excused himself and went to the bedroom to call her.
I wanted to listen in, but I respected David’s privacy. I heard yelling after a few minutes then it got quieter but what I could hear is his voice get that stern but calm resigned tone he got when he had his mind set and there was no changing it.
David came out a short while later I could tell he either had been crying or was close to the verge of it. I didn’t want to push it and ask him what happened. I knew he would tell me on his time. I did however cuddle into his side and held him best I could laying my head on his chest.
About 15 minutes later he rubbed my head and said I am sorry but your mother and I are no longer together. She is going to stay where she is while I find a new place to stay. I agreed to look after you till then. I asked what happened and was told my mom has been with her boss for a month now and that she no longer loves him (David). That she was sorry he had to find out about it this way but that it was for the best.
I started to cry. I couldn’t help it the one person in my life that made me happy was going to be leaving. Also because David absolutely didn’t deserve this. He was the sweetest kindest most thoughtful man by far that my mom had ever dated. David stroked my hair and held me while I sobbed.
It is not fair why would she do this to us. You are amazing she isn’t going to ever find anyone better. He looked at me and said its ok, I loved her and I will always love you and she didn’t feel the same. We cant help who we fall in love with and who we don’t even if you try to make it work you cant force love. He was defending her and this made me mad however he was definitely right you cant help who you love.
I don’t know entirely what came over me but for once I was going to be bold and tell him how i felt. Maybe i did it from hormones, maybe because I wanted him to understand how important he was to me and how special he was. I can try to justify what i did next any way I want but the truth is I had fallen in love with him.
I lightly brushed David’s cheek so that he looked at me. David you are amazing and you deserve way better than my mother. Any girl or women would be silly not to see that. I know I do. Then i leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips my first real kiss. It was just me kissing him for about 2 seconds and my heart was starting to go crazy what was I doing. Then i felt him lean into the kiss and his hand running through my hair and now my heart was going crazy for an entirely different reason.
I was in my nightie but it wasn’t cold and for some reason I was suddenly shivering. My whole body felt like I was being pleasantly electrocuted. The hair on my arms stood up as my whole body broke out in goose bumps trying to pick up on every sensation. I began to run my hands over his chest and it was amazing so firm and yet soft. my mouth opening our tongues dancing together. I instinctively moved over into David’s lap.
As i did so i heard and felt him moan into our kiss. omg omg i could feel him pressing against my ass. My hips instinctively shifting to bring more of him in contact with me. finally the kiss broke and we sat there looking at each other catching our breath.
We shouldn’t do this it is wrong he said as he ran his hand over my arm up my shoulder and brushed across my face. It it is not wrong mom was older than you. I know what I want and I have wanted this since the moment I looked in your eyes.
Emma are you sure you are so young and I’m sure there has to be boys lining up for blocks. I actually laughed people may know I’m trans at school but not one boy has ever shown any interest in me. I cant help who I love either and I love you. Even if you stop this now and so no I am still going to love you.
An eternity passed before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my close as he said I love you too Emma. It felt so good to hear those words and to be wrapped in his strong arms a sense of love safety and happiness was flooding through my body. I kissed him again running my fingers through his hair. We made it for awhile exploring each other his hands running over my body gently playing with my nipples.
He was so hard under me his jeans struggled to contain him. It probably didn’t help that I kept grinding my ass back and forth over his bulge. Emma I don’t know what you have done and I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for.
I am ready for anything David. Are you sure haven’t you done this before? I haven’t done anything with anyone but I do have a toy and I have been practicing with for about the last 6 months. I would use it and think of you, imagining, wishing for a moment just like this.
Well well well lil Emma I guess you know what you want and aren’t afraid to go after it. You always have been such a good girl. You definitely shouldn’t have your first time be on a couch. With that he grabbed my ass and stood up as I instinctively locked my legs around his waist as he walked to my room pushed the door open and dropped us onto the bed. me under him his weight on top of me as we kissed.
Do you want to show me what you have been practicing then, he asked as he rolled us onto our sides. I nodded enthusiastically eager to show off my skills and even more eager to see just how hard I made him. I slipped off the bed onto my knees as he sat up and onto the edge of the bed. I looked up at him and smiled as i undid his belt and then fumbled his pants open. He then lifted up and pushed them down freeing his hard cock which almost smacked me in the face.
This was the first time i had seen him fully hard and it had to be 8 inches if not more. I had been practicing with less and he was certainly thicker. I was suddenly less sure in my practice but i also was not deterred in the least. my mouth was watering so was my clitty for that matter. i reached up and lightly stroked it feeling the weight and the warmth in my hands i could just barely get my hand around 90 percent of it. it was somehow both hard and soft as silk there was a glistening drop of precum at the tip. without thinking i leaned forward and licked it from the tip. it was salty but also somehow tasted like he smelled and was delicious.
I couldn’t help myself I swirled my tongue around the head getting it all wet and savoring the taste and the feel. I looked up at him again as I wrapped my mouth around it and started sucking. working it slowly deeper and deeper. My jaw hurt from stretching my mouth that wide. His moan as i took him deeper trying to work him into my throat though made everything worth it. I wanted to make him feel as good as he had made me happy. I could spend the rest of my life doing this and not equal 1/10th of the happiness he had made me feel. I relaxed as he hit the back of my throat the next time i straightened my neck and did my swallow trick. He was now in my throat i felt tears form in the corner of my eyes and the urge to gag was strong but I held it together.
I felt his hands run through my hair and force it deeper all the way to the base holding me there. My nose pressed into him i could feel his pulse through his cock. I held it as long as i could before tapping on his leg so he knew i needed to breathe. pulling off just enough I could gasp for air before he shoved it back down my throat soon he was controlling it fucking my mouth and my throat. I felt so small and helpless but so safe at the same time and I could deal with anything as long as he kept moaning like that. After a minute or two he pulled me off of his cock. I went reluctantly a line of drool running from the tip of his cock to my lips. i could feel cool air on my neck and chest as drool ran down my neck to my chest.
That was amazing Emma you have definitely been practicing. I hope you don’t mind but I don’t want to cum yet. I want to be inside of you so bad you have the cutest little butt and I want to feel it wrapped around me. he kissed me and then ran his hands over my body grabbing the edge of the nightie and lifting it up and over my head. I watched as he drank in the sight of me in my panties and I felt self conscious for a second until I saw how I made he cock twitch.
He pulled me up and into his lap and kissed me again deeply our tongues dancing again not fighting for control but for as much contact as possible. his hands massaged and squeezed my ass. kissing down from my lips to my neck and across my clavicle. Then kissing and sucking my nipples. I had no bewbs yet to speak of maybe just the tiniest start from the hormones i had been taking. They were so sensitive though and his attention the warmth of his tongue and lips and breath made me gasp and squirm as electric arcs of pleasure shot from them down my spine and between my legs.
One of his hands had found its way to my clitty and was gently rubbing it not stroking it. I finally broke free and reached into the bottom drawer lifting the false bottom and pulling out the lube that i kept there. I handed it to David and he looked back into my eyes asking are you sure you want this. Yes David I want this I really really want this. can you get on all fours and raise your ass for me Emma. I complied promptly and enthusiastically. face down ass up back arched like i had seen in so many internet videos. Trying not to get impatient as i heard the lid open and then the sound of David stroking it onto his cock. Omg i need him inside of me was competing in full force a panic of will it hurt will i not be good enough. Just as I thought my brain was going to explode with my own thoughts. I felt his fingers rubbing my tight lil hole.
He was very generous with the lube working it slowly into me one finger at a time he was so gentle but firm I felt myself relaxing more and more. The he pulled back his fingers and i heard him ask a hitch in his voice are you ready Emma. YES DADDY I am Please put your big hard cock in me. he ran his fingers over my back and to my hips as the other hand guided his cock to my eager sissy hole. I felt it pressing into me warmer than i expected. i felt it stretch me around his cock and then suddenly he was in me just the tip. Giving me a chance to adjust to him as he ran his hands over my body cupping my ass before spanking me which i wasn’t expecting and it caused me to jump accidently impaling myself completely on his cock. He let out a moan that was so hot I didn’t care about the sharp hot pain for a second.
After a few seconds of him consoling me as i gasped and I assured him I was ok. He began slowly working it in and out of me. I was in heaven I felt so completely feminine and happy his cock making me his with every thrust my tight lil hole formed to his cock. OH EMMA YOU FEEL SO GOOD. This amazing sense of fullness of being complete took me over completely. I wanted nothing more than to make daddy happy. I wanted to be only his and please him I started pushing back. The tip of his cock kept pressing hard into this spot that sent waves of pleasure crashing through me. OMG daddy I’m your good girl, oh fuck me, I’m yours, I’m yours. I had my first real orgasm. My eyes rolled back and my legs started to shake as I buried my face into the bed. David grabbed my hair pulling me back before i could finish moaning and screaming. I want to hear you cum for me. You are so much better than your mom ever was! I am going to breed you lil girl again and again you are mine now you hear me. Yes daddy I’m yours just please please don’t stop fucking me. He picked up speed and started spanking my ass with one hand i could feel his cock get harder how was that possible then it twitched and i started to cum again as i felt his cum shoot deep inside me as he buried his cock as deep as it could go in my little ass. i pushed back milking his cock wanting every drop of his cum in me i could get. I didn’t just want it i needed it as badly as i need oxygen. He collapsed on top of me panting and kissing my neck as his hands gently caressed my body. I love you Emma. I love you too Daddy very very much. we kissed and eventually fell asleep his cock soft but still inside of me.

We did many things after that and I will tell you in another story, but this is how it all started.

We are still together it has been 5 years and recently I accepted his proposal we are to be married in May.

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