The Rape of my family

On a fateful day, the women in my family and I were targeted for being gangraped, with no mercy.

The year was 2002. We were pretty much in the heart of the hindu muslim communal riots. In Godhra. Our family numbered 10, my immediate family was my mother, father, an elder brother, my younger sisters and me. We call our mothers as Ammi and fathers as Abbu in the muslim faith. The rest four were an uncle, aunt and their children (my cousins), both girls. One big muslim family. In the most peaceful place, until this day.

My sisters were the youngest, aged 6 and 8, while I was 10. My elder brother was 15. I hadn’t known then, but my mother’s sister, the aunt, was pregnant with her third child. It also didn’t help, given that most of the womenfolk in our house were covered head to toe in burqas, most of the time, so it was easy to miss it. Our parents had decided to tell us later. But it was too late by then, of course.

The rioters came in the evening. Shouting, baying for blood. Armed with different kinds of knives. Our elders had tried convincing the females to consume poison, just like other women in the hindu families had, but for some reason all of us lacked the courage.

We were huddled in a corner, while the men, including Abbu, brother and uncle along with a few other muslim men were prepared to defend. An hour later our house gates broke open and shouts erupted. All of us, Ammi, my aunt, my sisters and cousin sisters, embraced each other and prayed to Allah (peace be upon him) with all our heart to help our men vanquish the infidels. The kafirs. Just like we were being instructed to pray by our mother. The most pious of us.

We heard screams and someone asking where the women of the house were. They knew we hadn’t escaped as they blocked the roads. A few minutes later, the closet space where we all were holed up was pulled outward and a dark skinned man blinked at us in surprise, looking us all over, then smiled in glee before shouting his discovery.

My Ammi and my aunt embraced each other, and the expression on my aunt’s face that day still chills my bones. Aunty fell on Ammi’s feet, “you have to save me. You have to.. I don’t know what will happen if..”

”Nothing will happen to you, sister. I promise. I will take care of this. No, no..shh, shh..” seeing someone like our aunt lose her resolve completely broke the younger girls, including me.

I felt my mother’s hands hold me tighter as we began to whimper in fear. I was the first to be dragged out and I helplessly clawed the ground to stop but to no avail. I was made to sit in the open courtyard where we all used to play, that was now drenched in blood and horror, and where the rest of my family was being dragged too, one by one.

“Bhai, look here.” we all turned to see. It was my aunt, walking carefully with two men supporting her from our hiding spot. BIt took me a while to register the baby bump in her abdomen and only then I figured the reason for her extraordinary fear. It was for her yet to be born baby.

The sword man leapt to her and bent down, while our aunt struggled to keep the man off, but when he began to inspect her belly with care she stopped.

“What’s your name?”

“They call her Begum Khala.” one of his men answered, when aunt refused to speak. “My daughter studies with her children in the same class.”

“So you know each other, then?

“We all know each other. Same neighbourhood, bhai.” his men said in a chorus.

Ammi spat on the ground and earned a slap.

“How many months..the baby? Seven, eight?” Rathor asked Begum.

This time Begum hesitated before answering, “Seven months.”

“I was close. My wife too had the same bump when we were expecting.” No one reacted to his statement, so he said, “Bring her carefully to the centre. And a chair. Tie her up in it.”

A tall man in the middle pointed at the men, who were injured and exhausted but relieved to see us alive. “Separate them. That side. You three are in charge. No, wait…four. Anyone fights, kill them.”

“The ladies, sir? Do we burn them, like they did?”

The man with the long sword thought for a while before he gave a chilling smile.

“No, we do much worse. We rape them.”

His men echoed in support. Ammi and aunt went pale, while the rest of us kids struggled to understand what that meant.

My uncle and my father screamed in anguish, as they were dragged to the kitchen and tied up.

“And we do it here…so that their men can see. Now, strip these whores. They don’t deserve to be clothed.” The kind of native language that came out of him was something I had never heard of, so disgusting in its phrasing it was.

I screamed and kicked as the men reached for me, but in no time, I was on my feet, being held by the men alongside the rest of the females of the house. All of us were naked, our clothes ripped, thrown aside and being held by strange men, who were about to do the worst to us.

I felt humiliation at seeing my mother, my aunt and my little sisters naked. More than myself. Our arms were being pulled back, thrusting our chest forward as a way to subdue us and the sword man walked up to each of us, rubbing the cold blade on our exposed bodies. Aunty had her nipples budding out, her breasts heavy, ready for lactating and both of the older women’s pussy regions were with hair, all of which strangely fascinated me as I had never seen their bodies like this before and which were so unlike mine.

“My name is Rathor. Remember the Mughals, the Islamic invasions? I’m part of the clan that fought them, spilt our blood for you filthy, converted ingrates. They raped our women then…it’s only fitting we return the favor. Am I right, men?”

His stooges were more than happy to holler and cheer him, as they couldn’t wait to get it on. I knew it, because the man behind me whispered into my ear, “I’m going to have such fun with you, little one.”

The leader nodded and the rapes began. I was pushed to my knees on the cold ground, as were my four sisters, all naked and we cried as we saw my Ammi being dragged to the centre. Her hair was all dishevelled, her naked body with visible bruises but no blood as the men wanted her to last long.

Ammi muttered communal curses, which though angering the men, also made them laugh. Rathor kept his cool throughout. He raised a hand and told Ammi to turn around, to look at us, her daughters and nieces. And when she was forced to, she tried to hold on but eventually broke down and sobbed.

To further add insult to injury, he knelt down to say, “All of your little girls will be filled to the brim with the seed of, in your own words, ‘kafirs’. And you have to watch it, after they see you…perform for us.”

Rathor handed his sword to his men and promptly removed his pants, his undergarments following, while Ammi looked at us girls. She was about to say something when Rathor lifted her up by her hair and made her get on all fours, such that her sides faced us girls who were forced to watch by the men holding us. Rathor bent to whisper something and it instinctively energised Ammi who vigorously nodded.

Rathor took time to get himself erect, but to all of our surprise Ammi herself turned to him and mouthed his penis, sucking it like it were a lollipop. Rathor didn’t immediately react but after a while, he turned to his men and exclaimed, “See! See! She wants it too..the filthy whore that she is.”

Then he turned to where the men of the house were and taunted, “I hope you’re getting to watch it you pig fucks!”

Ammi later told us all that she had agreed to be enthusiastic and obey Rathor’s command given the fleeting chance that if he were satisfied he wouldn’t hurt the rest of the women. Provided of course, all the men had their way with her. She knew there would be pain, she confided, but not to the extent which it did eventually and she realised too late that she had made a mad bargain.

The courtyard fell into silence and I watched with an embarrassing fascination as my pious Ammi, whom I thought the world of, sucking our torturer’s cock with enthusiasm, like her life depended on it.

When I tried to look away, my captor’s hands forced me back, tightening his grip while groping every inch of my body without hesitation and rubbing my preteen pussy. He had an arm wrapped around my neck, breathing down my shoulder, his head resting on it and his mind divided by the sight of Ammi sucking cock while he had me in his grasp. I looked sideways to see my cousins face the same treatment as me, their faces confused, alarmed and forever traumatised.

Ammi had broken down in the meantime, sobbing in shame as she tried to get away. But when she looked back up at Rathor, she seemed to compose herself and look at us again before going back to sucking him. This time she was noisier, wetter and sloppier, so much so that the entire courtyard could hear those sounds.

A blast outside startled all of us, indicating that the riots were spreading. Meanwhile, Ammi said to put it in and Rathor agreed. Never having seen sex before I wondered what she was doing when she got on all fours, facing us sideways, when Rathor took his penis that she was sucking on before and plunged it into her, while Ammi instinctively closed her eyes shut, burying her face between her arms, as she prayed.

Assuming he had stabbed her, my sisters and I wailed. Ammi turned to comfort us as Rathor began to plunge deeper into her. She looked at me teary eyed, full of obvious shame and kept her hand down to balance herself as was raped from the back.

“Tell me what I want to hear.” I heard Rathor say to her.

Ammi sighed and I observed her crushing her fingers in helplessness, as she began to struggle with her next words, “you’re right where you belong..in my filthy…” Ammi turned to us kids, begging her captors to not make her do it but a tug on her hair brought her back and she gulped, before continuing to say, “in my filthy fucking cunt. Where my husband cannot even fathom.. Ahhh! Yes… !” Ammi’s scream terrorized me as her hair was pulled back and she lifted her body from the ground, her ass being furiously penetrated by Rathor.

The girls began to weep noisily while I was too numb to react as my pussy was being fondled. “Look, look. This is gonna be you next, and your puny little sisters.” I could feel something growing behind my bareback and winced each time I felt it but the man behind me pulled closer.

Ammi was now being held up, as she held onto Rathor who was raping her in midair. He let go of her when Ammi began to convulse and she let out a flurry of what I thought was pee from her hole making me tighten my own legs in response. Ammi was struggling to gather her senses, as she took support on her knees, but Rathor simply slammed her against the wall and continued to rape her before he extricated himself from her.

She let herself fall and slither to the ground, my sisters and I reaching out for her. Rathor nodded his men to let us go and we scrambled to her side, hugging and crying against her shoulder, and body, while she tried to breathe. I saw my aunt calling to me and I pointed her out to Ammi, who looked to see Begum fervently apologising, but Ammi shook her head and rested back.

Rathor was taking his time, wearing his watch but still in his underpants. Smoking a cigarette. He pointed to Ammi. “Let her dry a while, then you all can begin. Or if you want her just like that…go on. It’s open season.”

The men scrambled for their pants and lost no time in leering at us as we tried to hold onto Ammi, who was struggling to wrest us off of her.

“Girls, be good. Take care of your aunt, she needs support. Please girls..listen to me. I’ll be alright.” She tried to soothe us as her maternal instincts kicked in.

When the men came in a group, I tried to beg by holding onto a man’s legs but he simply kicked my face and I scrambled away. Not wanting my sisters hurt, I pulled them away while Ammi herself was dragged back to the centre. Two men were kept to guard us. Four were guarding the men of our house, the other four were busy with Ammi.

I took my weeping sisters to where my aunt was tied up and sat down at her feet, driving away flies or insects to try and distract me. Begum gathered us girls around and said, “focus on me. Look at me, ok…” I saw her eyes look at what was happening behind us and widen in fear before she pulled away, “J..j..just my face, here cover each other’s ears, like this, yes…don’t panic. Ok..” she began to stammer and in a moment I knew why.

A bloodcurdling scream from behind startled all of us and we immediately turned to see Ammi being prone on the ground, her legs splayed open, with a man lying below her, another in between her legs and two others on her sides, all of them having their way with her. I could see Ammi being penetrated by two men simultaneously while the rest held her down. Her entire body was wriggling, shaking so much that I feared she was being killed. Every thrust into her brought out a yelp of pain and the men continued to laugh. It was here I believe that she realised her fatal mistake, as all the men had huge protruding cocks hungry for her.

Her screaming was so loud that the men lost grip on her and Ammi immediately got up, but in her dizziness, she clutched her temple and tried in vain to cover her breasts, as she tried to flee. Rathor, who was watching, slowly walked to her and acted as if he was in her way and made her tumble by extending his foot. He sniggered to himself as he continued to puff on his cigarette while the men eagerly grabbed on Ammi again and continued their onslaught on her. She was at an angle where I could clearly see one of the man’s cock drive deep into my mother’s bowels, which woke her up screaming and thrashing.

Rathor callously walked up to where we were and remarked, “your Ammi has got quite the spunk, no wonder she birthed so many beauties. How old are all of you..?” He knelt down to our height and smiled.

“Don’t answer the scoundrel. I know why you want to know, so that you can boast about it? Right?”

He seemed disappointed when we stayed mum but got up and shrugged. “I’m a father myself, so I would guess all you girls are within 10-11 years of age, or even less, no?” He looked to Begum who glared but that was enough for him. “I guessed right.”

I saw Ammi again run around the house, this time pleading to stop, to save her, like a helpless animal. Her legs were trailing liquids which were flowing out of her ravaged holes and dirtying the floor.

“𝘚𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦….𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘦! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦…𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱..”
I saw her fruitlessly banging the barricaded entrance, hoping to get someone outside to hear.

Two of the men were too exhausted to continue after chasing her but the other two went back for her and continued to rape her. I fell to Rathors feet, “please, Ammi is in pain, stop please sir.” I cried my heart out and winced in pain as he held me up by my pussy, making me stand up.

“If your aunt asks me to, I will.” I grew relieved and immediately turned back. But the Begum simply looked down and said nothing. I shook her in frustration but she didn’t even care to look at me and I asked, “Why?”

Rathor tapped my shoulder and remarked, “See we’re not the only bad ones. If only your aunt..”

“Stay away from her you fuck!” she yelled at which I heard Rathor walk away and chuckle. And I turned back to Begum, slapping her in the belly which alarmed her and she pushed me away.

“Don’t you get it, stupid girl? If not your mother, they’ll want me and I can’t endanger my baby.”

I felt defeated and sat down, “what about her, is her suffering okay with you?”

“I’m sorry child. But…” I slapped her hand away and slowly walked to where Ammi was being held by the men, on the ground. They were other men now, the previous ones had their share and it made me feel sad to see her face writhing and contorted as she held out her hand for me, in desperation for some consolation.

I knelt down and grabbed it, squeezing hard. One of the men ejaculated on her neck, and I witnessed the white semen flow out, which was gathered and force fed to Ammi who cried when it happened. Suddenly I was pulled over and pressed onto my mother’s gaping vagina, which smelt of sweat, semen and spit. I closed my mouth as I struggled to get away from her pussy lips which were also bleeding a little and were so wide open, it looked like it would eat me up. The men brushed my face against it enjoying my struggle and when they let go, I threw up. I observed my mother was senseless and looked up.

The men who had been guarding my sisters and aunt, were dragging away the pregnant Begum, who was horrified. Ammi even in her weak state tried to protest but only succeeded in raising her arm. A man came from inside our house with a large bucket and without warning poured it on top of Ammi’s body. She shrieked and I was stunned, but gradually realised it was cold water, and I obeyed his command to clean up her crotch. I gently patted her thighs, smoothing out the water and let the fluids cleanse out while trying to understand what was happening above.

“No! No! You…said, my sister…you had agreed to let me…” aunty was shivering already and even I, despite holding a grudge against her, felt sorry for her predicament.

“That I spare you, and let your sister take your place?” Begum nodded but Rathor seemed unmoved.

“I might have. But look around..” he pointed to the men who were holding her, “I can’t promise ‘they’ are gonna behave..Begum ji.”

Her eyes flew open and she began to scream in terror, as the men lifted her up. “And mind you, these are the older men, so they are not so..polite in terms of handling women, get what I mean?”

“Mercy, please. Dont.. you will hurt my baby…please. Have mercy on a pregnant woman, asshole!” but even her daughters knew they weren’t going to listen and she screamed and screamed, her voice turning hoarse as she was held by two men who had had their fill and the rest of the others took turns, massaging her pregnant belly while they took turns raping her. Going around in glee, remarking how wonderful it was to fuck a pregnant muslim lady, while Begum was moaning in pain.

A clatter of vessels brought our attention to the men holed up in the kitchen and Rathor whistled to the men. “End them.”

“My child…” hearing Ammi mutter my name, I immediately went to her face, “I’m in so much pain…” hearing those words made me quiver as I had never heard her so weak and then when I tried to look at the kitchen, Ammi grabbed my arms and shook her head. I understood and laid back.

“What is happening…why is your aunt shouting?”

“The men, Ammi….” I began to sob, barely able to form words, “they’re hurting her like they did you.”

Ammi gasped in her weak state and let her head fall back, tears welling in her eyes, as she placed her palms on her eyes and shook her head furiously in frustration.

“𝘈𝘩𝘩𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘩𝘩𝘢…”

“𝘈𝘩𝘩𝘢𝘨𝘩𝘢𝘢…𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱..𝘢𝘩𝘩𝘢𝘨𝘩𝘢..𝘴𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘧”

“𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱…𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘱..𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦…𝘈𝘈𝘏𝘏𝘏!”

Begum’s screams echoed throughout the entire courtyard and both of us struggled to hold it together.

I steeled myself to look up and saw the same thing happening to her, what had been done to Ammi, except now all the men were involved, given that the men from my house would no longer be troubling. And all were cheering, prodding, touching and enjoying the rape of my pregnant aunt.

“Ammi! Ammi!…Ammi!” Auntie’s children were screaming and wanting for their mother who was being held off by the men.

“Ay! It’s time to show the children some love. They’re feeling left out. Haha.”

Three young men walked up to me and my Ammi tried reaching out, but I was grabbed by my neck, away from her. I was completely hysterical, wanting to avoid whatever they had done to Ammi and aunty but the men were too strong, and driven while I was a mere tool for their pleasure.

“Make the mother watch…make her watch, let her lie atop her…yes.” I found myself sleeping on Ammi’s sweaty and wet body, while Ammi begged the men to let me go. She brought my face to look at me and was about to say something to comfort me, when I felt my legs being spread open, arms held tight and without further warning being impaled in my unprotected vagina by a large pole-like thing.

The initial pain was so intense, my flight response kicked in as I began to yell the loudest I had, my insides burning as the man went further inside me. I was pressed harder against Ammi’s body who tried calming me down but I was literally sobbing all over her face and screaming at her, she pushed away my head. I glimpsed one of the men offering his cock to my Ammi’s mouth while saying, “we could make this hurt your daughter more, unless you…” Ammi didn’t say anything but slowly opened her lips at which the man brought his thick penis head into her cheeks and began to thrust inside her.

I was going into shock, so much was the pain but somehow kept being pulled back to consciousness by the brutal assault on my body. Then I felt the first wave splash into me. A foreign substance, fluid in nature, which was the man’s semen. I had calmed down but when more waves of semen flowed, the man groaned, deepening his intrusion into me further by holding onto my shoulder and pulling me back, that my legs flailed around in protest, and my eyes squinted in pain.

“See, they’re doing the same to me too, it’ll be over sweetie..please…” Ammi gasped in shock as the man raping her burrowed himself deep into her, falling on her breasts and pulling her face close.

“Are your..sisters..ok?” she managed to ask me.

I glanced up and my heart stopped, as I saw even my little sisters hadn’t been spared and they were taking the full length penises of grown men inside them, crying their innocent little hearts out. I shook my head and Ammi understood.

“They’re babies…ungghh, babies…you monsters, what did they ever..?”

“They aren’t babies..they’re grown. You muslim women are meant for breeding anyway, ain’t you? What are you bitching about then? That we aren’t from your community? Well then…this is your present..hey you, hold her up.”

Ammi grew horrified and began to escape from their clutches, while the younger boys easily overpowered her and lifted her up, “This is how you boys…ought to rape a muslim rand..hehe..yeah!” Ammi had her hips raised above the ground and the man was thrusting with brutal force into her, causing a massive reaction from Ammi who was beyond pain and rising in protest. The men instructed the others to do the same to me.

I was turned over and found myself splayed in front of an older man, with his dick pointed straight at me. He winked at me and lifted my little hips up, lost no time in penetrating me. I gasped in astonishment as I saw the amount of his body going inside me and the way I was wetting his cock, after he withdrew from inside me. And so it went on, I was turned over and over, water splashed over our bodies when it was time and then we were raped again, the men taking turns on all of us, regardless of how little we were or how weak and worn out.

Many of my sisters had become unconscious but the men kept ravaging them, unbothered by the state of the girls. Auntie was in the worst state. Her pregnancy had made her a unique target for the men, who kept raping her without respite. Ammi had made an attempt to grab me and escape, but we were caught, and raped again without mercy. I felt my insides hurt, and the rest of my body hurt, my toes ached from curling and uncurling from the numerous orgasms I had felt throughout my rape.

The men would take breaks, letting us rest for sometime if they felt like it. And then they would come back. This went on for hours, till I had lost all senses of my body, or so I thought before the men decided to anally rape me. I remained in a state of trance as I felt all the men’s penises fit in me, dig into me and carve out space wherever possible, taking in two, three at a time, till I began to bleed and curl into a ball. All manners of fluids leaking from every orifice I had.

I came to my sense in the middle of my rape, where I was in midair, held by my rapists who were plunging into me from all sides, including my mouth. I couldn’t even bite the dick, as it was so thick that my lips were stuck in place and the sensation of my throat being ravaged was too intense to respond rationally.

Morning came, and the men left. But their marks on our bodies did not. We felt their intrusions deep into our souls. Aunty had somehow survived the rapes with her baby intact. All of us that had been raped were pregnant with our rapists babies. This had been their goal, Ammi told me. Even my little sisters were pregnant, as was I.

Our rapists were from another state we were told and the men of our house were nowhere to be found, but I later heard that they had abandoned us because we had brought shame upon them.

I was the most upset when I learnt that I had to keep the baby, as did my sisters, because Ammi felt it would be wrong to get rid of innocent lives, but I was in no mood to argue with her. And so, for the next nine months, our house was filled with seven pregnant women, lounging, walking around, nursing each other. Five of whom were of school-going age, and the rest two old enough to be grandmothers of their kids.

Aunty had a baby girl through the caesarean procedure given that her body had been through trauma and she was the first of us to give birth.

Both my younger sisters miscarried, their lives saved by Allah’s grace. My cousins gave birth to healthy boys, each. I birthed a girl and a boy after that, being that I was found to have carried twins. Ammi gave birth to a boy.

We had to marry off my sisters early to avoid scandal and looked after their children ourselves. Me, Ammi and aunty. Three women taking care of five babies. My father, aunty’s husband, and my brother never returned. And truth be told, we had given up hope.

But our rapists did return. Or at least the ringleader did. Rathor. As the head of an inquiring team into the riots and when he saw us in the large bazaar, huddled close, with our babies in our hands, he smiled at us with pride.

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