I enjoy being dominated by young guys, but last encounter changed my life

I am used to fuck around and mainly seek teenage boys, but the last “date” went wrong, I got drugged, raped and creampied. It changed who I am.

Hi, my name is Emily, I am 5 feet 10, so I am pretty tall, I am skinny with 36A cups and I turned 28 this year. I am childless and single and spent a lot of my free time on dating apps searching for ONS.
I am usually only able to get about 1 great night a week though. The reason is that firstly I have quite strong kink for being submissive and dominated, secondly I mostly look for boys 16-20. Those two combined don’t add up to many people, luckily I live in a big city.
Anyway, last friday (by which I mean the friday before, its been 9 days now) I had the best night I could ever think of. I did not have sex for over 2 weeks, I was busy from work and usually just went straight to bed and slept, haven’t even wanked for the whole time. I also had my period during the time so that did not help either. To make it clear, it was probably the longest I went without sex since leaving highschool about 10 years ago.
So, there I was and finally found someone to meet up. We went to a club, ordered some drinks and danced for a bit. After about an hour I started to feel dizzy. I am no fool and it was pretty clear to me what was going on (for those don’t get it, I was getting roofied) and I did not care.
His plan probably, since he was probably like 17 and quite short (about 5 feet 7), was to just take me to toilet or somewhere. Well, since I was living about 5 minutes walk away I told that we should go to my place.
By that time I was already slowly passing out and don’t remember much. I know we went out, I gave him my adress and my keys and thats about it.
Next thing I know is being naked and bound to my bed spread eagle by what were obviously my own handcuffs (btw great thing to have), blindfolded and gagged.
At that point he introduced another drug to my body (please tell me if you have any idea)… it basically let me consciouss, although a bit high (could still be the alcohol and the thing earlier), but I could not use my muscles or just moved my body in any meaningful way it was completely relaxed or something.
I realised it got out of my control far more than I expected.
I never was actually raped, I did get drugged and let someone use my body before but it was someone I knew I could trust who was also quite experienced. Or couple of times the boy just ran away or was put off by someone in the bar or somewhere.
Basically, never was I becoming desperate.
I felt tears in my eyes and complete misery. Last nail into my coffin was when my pussy actually started getting wet. He was was running over my body with some oil and although it felt horrible feeling someone touching my helpless body it worked, I began dripping wet.
He then took off the blindfold and gag from my mouth with my phone in his hand. He used my face to unlock it and laid himself next to my body to make me see what he was doing. He opened instagram and took some photos of me and posted in stories. He then went on and started streaming (using front cam) and put the phone properly on a drawer next to the bed.
I was now live to all my friends, family, coworkers, nearly everyone who knew me or of me… naked in my bed.
This broke me completely. I felt my body getting a bit more strength over time but it was useless, I lost the will to do anything at that point.
He did than got pulled out his hard cock, laid on me and bareback started to push himself inside. I did not like the idea of a guy not wearing a condom a) it felt safer given stds and b) I am not really keen of contraception and hence I dont use any other apart from condom, which seemed to be going quite well until now, or some guys I trusted to go bare simply pull out in time.
Weirdly enough, once he was deep inside me (which in his case frankly wasn’t much) I felt rather a relief than a despair. Apparently, my slut brain was kicking in. He was trying to smash my pussy with his, ehm, adequate cock for few minutes before he realised a different position might be better.
He released my legs and took them in his hands, finally he could pound me rough… and my body noticed the change as well.
Not only I started to notice I can ‘actually’ feel my body, my brain almost fully switched into the horny dirty slut mode from the desperate rape victim mode a few minutes before. I was enjoying it.
I used all strength I could to make it clear to him that I am not going to fight against his control over my body and that my body was completely subjugated to him.
I wanted him to know he destroyed me and broke my mind completely, to know I am unable to resist not because of some drug anymore, but because my brain has been completely melted and I am now merely a dirty slut that deserves to be raped and bred, even by a teenage boy.
I was now rolling my eyes with my tongue out for him.
Slowly I fully embraced the role and became it (even now when I am writing this it just feels right), it is me now.
I noticed he wasn’t to last much longer and frankly neither was I. The weeks without sex or touching were paying of. Not saying the whole new braindead slut identity went into my head completely.
I was cumming. My pussy gripped and pulled his cock giving it about 3 clenches before he finally did not hold anymore. He came deep inside me, it was my first creampie ever actually and I could not bring myself to senses, my mind went blank and I just lied there feeling his 17y cum dripping from my pussy.
(according to the video from the stream) about 15 minutes passed during which I just lied there still with tied hands and with cum pool or stain underneath my pussy, my tongue out and my eyes rolled still breathing heavily.
What woke me up was him coming to me and untying my hands which afterwards still lied in the same position. He was going for another round. This time I was sure I had regained enough strength already to have some chance of defending myself… If I wanted to, which now could not have been further from the case.
He turned me on my belly and put a pillow under my hips. My pussy was now fully exposed to the cam of my phone. He said there was over a hundred people by now watching my dripping wet pussy on the stream as he was going to push himself deep inside me again.
I could not hold it any longer and started to moan, he hesitated for a moment but then he, since he was doing with my body as he pleased, probably took it as his ultimate victory over me. Which it was.

At the beginning of the night I wanted to be dominated, yes, but still myself. Now it was a whole another level. Now the only thing that mattered was his pleasure. No safe words, no fallbacks not anything an empty fuck doll to dump is cum into unable of any independent thought and ready to get wet and cum whenever, wherever just for him.
Since he realised I can move a bit on my own, he stopped thrusting inside me and pull himself out.
He then turned me around to face the drawer with my phone on top of it, to face the cam.
He put me on my knees that were still trembling and shaky a bit, so he stuffed pillows under me again.
Now I was kneeling with my head submerged into the bed. He then lined up himself and continued destroying my pussy as hard as he could. Frankly I never expected 17yo to have such stamina and strength.
After that he took my hands and elevated my upper body. My face and chest were now completely exposed to the cam from as close as they could from the bed. I loved the face when I saw it from the stream recording.
It was a weird blend of smiling, laughing and moaning with my tongue out and my eyes blank white.
I came for the second time after only about 40s in that position. My legs started shaking and all the weitgh felt on my arms pulled by him and the pillows under me. He, however, did not seem to finish any time soon.
As he was pounding not only was he totally obliterating my pussy by now, but my clit was not rubbing over the pillows beneath me. So much to say, I was now becoming hard on overstimulated and it just did not stop.
My entire body started to shake in agony and pleasure, I was hyperventilating, my hands slipped from his grip and I felt on bed.
Apart from feeling my body burning all I know from next hour is merely from the video because I seem to have spaced out completely.
He went on for a bit pounding his shaking fuck doll before he came again and it took him couple of mintues to fully pull his cock outside me already half-way flaccid. I mean… my pussy was pretty much gripping and clenching him with all it had pretty much every other second making him cum sooner than he expected and milking him dry as much as it could… as a matter of fact even for a while after he left me there alone shaking.
I wish I could say I was coming back to senses, but the case is quite the opposite. My body might have calmed but the first thing I noticed was actually my own voice, desperate and needy. I was begging him to be his fuckdoll. To use me as his breeding bitch, to cum deep inside me. To destroy my pussy untill I can’t even walk. To melt my brain untill I cant form a word, much less a sentence. To by your cumdump.
About that time the video ends.
The whole next week I took off, well technically I did not I just did not leave my place and all I did was to touch, eat, sleep and fuck (which was basically texting some people from past or just random new people my adress to come and fuck their slut). During the week I know at least 6 boys aged 14-19 lost their virginity to my completely braindead body using it as their toy and cumming inside. Of another 3 I am not sure and 13 were not virgins, 22 in total within 9 days.
Yesterday I read an email that I was fired, but I still dont have enough.

Part of a reason I write here is that I hope to find someone to make me his slut like the boy on friday. Someone to destroy my pussy and fuck my brain off over and over again. Expose it for everyone to know
To do as you please with my body and let it be your toy, your fuckdoll always at your disposal as your cum dump, letting you empty your balls inside endlessly wet pussy. To tell me to cum whenever and wherever you want. You can drug me somewhere, rape my body and just throw me away somewhere. Or not drug me and do it anyway. Preferably if you were younger than me, but I don’t think I care anymore.
I add a photo he made of me.

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