I want my pussy back
I’m ftm and miss my pussy, I have not fully transitioned yet and this isn’t about actually regretting it.
Hear me out…
I’m 26 and a transguy, born female transitioning to male, and I’m in the middle of the process with all the surgeries.
My last surgery was essentially closing my pussy up and the next will be getting my dick. When I say I miss it I mean that in a very specific way.
I’ve been abused basically all my life and was raped by multiple people (seperately), I have severe mental health issues and one way I’ve always had to come was an incredibly high sex drive. I’m addicted to masturbating for hours every day, sometimes all day and I literally can’t stop. I’ve had this since I can remember, maybe not the hours every day but I’ve been mastrubating to cope since I can think.
Eventually I realized that it wasn’t just because I was raped that I didn’t enjoy sex, I didn’t enjoy the body I have, vaginal sex has never once felt good unless I was masturbating and even then it would take a long time to feel good.
Now all that said I have pretty intense fantasies, about getting raped, kidnapped, drugged, all the good stuff essentially. These fantasies and my masturbation habits have spiked even more since my last surgery, I actually love looking at ftm porn now, love chatting with random strangers online and fantasize about getting my pussy fucked.
A part of me wishes I still had it, despite knowing I wouldn’t enjoy it, my fantasies have derailed so far into wanting to be forced into being a brain dead drugged up sex toy that is constantly getting fucked that I keep thinking “well I don’t think I would care in that circumstance”.
I love that I am able to get the surgeries, I would have probably not kept going without that possibility, but I get lost for hours and days imagining getting forced to have one again and then getting fucked. Forever, in very gruesome ways.
I am in fact in therapy, I guess I’m just stressed out and trying to cope with all the medical bs I need to go through.
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#Abuse #Rape #Trans
Trans too and historically SA-ed this is pretty normal actually, it’s like our brains turn trauma into kinks to help cope with it
i was also sexually abused from a very early age and although i learned to accept it, i am also badly scared and constantly need to be intimate, i also masturbate constantly to the point of abusing my pussy till it hurts just to touch it and even then i cant stop.
Although i have never wanted not to have a pussy i understand where you are coming from and hope you get over it. Have you tried to cum from anal sex ?
it’s good to hear I’m not alone with this <3
and I do love anal too, it's just that my head is fixating a lot on that lately
You’ll never be able to get off again, hope it was worth it
I thought you people want to be called either binary or nonbinary !!
It’s a good thing transgender doesn’t actually exist, get some help for your mental illness