my first time

a thirteen year old girl trades a favor for a gift

i was 13. i used to hang out in a park in summer before eighth grade, usually with a girlfriend. there was a man there who i talked to and, i guess, sort of flirted with. he was married and worked sometimes at the park supervising maintenance and landscaping and things like that. i also knew him a little because he knew my mom (but he was just an acquaintance really—my mom worked with his wife). i started watching porn when i was around 12 and, i guess, thought about doing things and learned that way. anyway, i also started drinking around then. one day i was talking to him and asked if he’d buy some vodka for me. he was obviously reluctant because i was underage and he had some connection to my mom and everything, but he also clearly liked me (i knew that from how he talked and looked at me). eventually he said he would get me what i wanted but he wanted something from me in return. i sort of knew what he had in mind, and i remember being nervous and almost shaking, just how i felt then talking to him. he said i had to promise i would keep it a secret and he would too—because we both could get in trouble— but that if i’d let him touch me a little and if i would give him a blow job (he said he wanted to sure i knew what he meant and i remember giggling a little and saying yes i did)—then he would give me a pint of vodka. i met him at the the park in the evening alone and we went into a maintenance building (he had keys for the lock). i remember there were lawnmowers and equipment everywhere and it smelled like oil and grass and the floor was cement. we were alone. when we got inside he got close to me and he fondled my tits and ass and put his hand under my tee shirt. i wasn’t wearing a bra—just shorts and panties and a tee shirt and sneakers. when i was 13 i was around 4-11 and 90 pounds. he was bigger and older — around 32 i think and probably 6-2 200 and he looked okay. and his cock was thick and about 7 inches long when he got hard (and he got very hard eventually). he took my hand while he rubbed and squeezed my tits and pulled it against his jeans so i felt his cock. i remember him telling me how sexy i was for a 13 year old when he did that. i remember him saying things like that and using words like sexy and pretty and slut and whore. and saying he was thinking about me all summer. he undid and unzipped his jeans and i remember he threw a cushion on the floor and pulled his pants and underwear down and pushed me down kneeling onto the cushion. it all happened at once it seemed. his cock wasn’t hard yet but it wasn’t soft either and i remember that i was very nervous, but also warm and, i guess, aroused when i felt it and saw it then. he said “you know what to do” and i remember almost choking whispering “yes” and i took his cock in my mouth and started sucking and feeling his hand on my head and his cock getting harder and bigger and i remember gagging a little because he pushed it into my mouth deeper. i wrapped my hand around it and stroked as i sucked. he told me to feel his balls and i did. he called me a sexy little slut and kept saying “suck it, that’s it, suck my cock you little slut” and it didn’t take long until he said he was going to cum and said “you swallow it all, you understand?” and he started to ejaculate. i choked and coughed a little at first, and some got on my lips and chin, but i kept him in my mouth until he finished and i swallowed his cum and he let go of my head and hair. i was shaking and he kept saying i was really good and this was our secret. and he gave me a plastic bag with stoly vodka, i remember, and said don’t get caught. and don’t say anything to anyone about where you got it. i met him two more times after that but we never had sex—it was just me blowing him and him touching and fingering me. the next time i was with an older man—a different man—i was 14 and home alone about a year later and that older man raped me.

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