My [35F] son [18M] manipulated me into letting him penetrate me and came inside me

I have been letting my virgin son use my body as a prop for sex ed. There was supposed to be no penetration but he manipulated me and came inside me.

I'm a 35 year old divorced mom, and I live with my son who just turned 18. He had a bad experience with a girl recently where he came in her mouth basically instantly, which resulted in her calling him a "pencil dick premie" and storming off. He does have a very small penis, about 4", and cannot hold his load at all. He went to a strip club after that and got kicked out for cumming in his pants, after which the stripper also said something mean to him. I felt terrible about this because it has wrecked his self-confidence.

Nonetheless, he is very interested in sex as a virgin and is always eager to learn about the female body. He asked if I would show him my body and I probably shouldn't have, but I agreed. That led to him begging to touch and lick. I try to be a positive role model for him and I don't stop him when he feels me up and asks me to show him parts of my body because I think as a healthy young man, he needs to be exposed to a biological female so he does not feel mystified. I tell myself that I'm just using my own body as the prop for my son's sex education.

I have been walking naked around him and I don't mind when he does the same. A few times I even caught him coming out of the shower with a fully erect cock and he dangled it in front of my face. This eventually led to me masturbating him. I put his penis in my mouth twice, but I wouldn't really call them blowjobs as he came within 10 seconds (the first time it was literally after 3 sucks, lol). We are not in a freeuse relationship and I made it clear early on that there would be no penetration, but I don't stop him from feeling me up or putting his fingers in my vagina. He did recently ask if he could put "just the tip" inside my pussy. I allowed him to after a lot of begging on his part ("please mom! just the tip for a second so I can see what a pussy feels like!") on the strict condition that he would not go deeper than the head of his penis, that I would do the inserting, and my hands would be kept against his chest to make sure he doesn't "accidentally" go too deep. He stayed inside for a few seconds after which I pulled his penis out because I could feel it starting to swell and he came on my stomach. Since then, he has repeatedly asked to put the whole thing in but I denied him.

Then a few days ago while I was taking a shower, my son barged into the bathroom again so he can watch me shower. I asked him why he is in the bathroom and why he is voyeuring mommy, and he told me that someone is calling me. And as I stepped out of the shower he gave me the phone to speak and as I was talking to that person on the phone my son stood behind me, yanked my towel away from body, and started to fondle my breasts again. He played with my nipples, rolled them between his fingers, caressing my ass, thighs, and eventually his hands meandered to my pussy mound and he was playing with my pubic hair.

I let him do it because I was on the phone but after I hang up, my son asked me if he could help me trim my pubic hair. Feeling a bit more bold than usual, I agreed, so I sat on the sink and told him, go ahead, shave my pubic hair for me. But as he did it, he used the opportunity to stick two fingers inside my pussy. I didn't say anything and I was a bit distracted because that person was calling me again. As I was talking, my son kept on fingering me. By then he had finished shaving my pubic hair and he was just playing with my pussy for fun. But then he leaned really close to me and I felt what I thought was his fingers getting so much thicker and that was when I realized my son had inserted his cock inside my pussy while I wasn't paying attention. By that points he had slowly eased it inside and was way past the head of his penis. Less than a second later I felt his balls touching my pussy lips and realized he was all the way inside.

I quickly told him to pull out and pushed against his chest, and as he was pulling out, ropes after ropes of his cum started shooting. About half went inside my vagina and lots of it landed right on my pussy. I panicked because I'm not on the pill and I'm a very fertile woman, so I became worried that my son might have gotten me pregnant by accident (I got Plan B the next day fortunately). What happened next shocked me to my core. I overheard my son talking to his best friend on the phone... and... I will just paraphrase the conversation:

"I told you I'd get all the way inside her cunt man! She pushed me out pretty fast but not before I blew a load deep inside that slut... I know, she's so fucking hot. Huge slut though, I've seen her bring back guys all the time. She's still surprisingly tight though! She's mad at me right now but she always gives in, I bet I'll be back in there by next weekend. Bet I can get her to suck me off again too!"

I am fucking furious. He manipulated me into all of this. I haven't said anything to him because I'm figuring out how to proceed. If you comment, please don't be mean about this as this is my real life. I'm honestly not sure how to approach it. For the time being I've stopped all sexual activity with him and slap his hand away if he tries to touch me. Should I give him another chance?