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Giving In (part one)

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As the abused can become an abuser, so the corrupted may also become a corrupter if he’s so minded. This story describes part one of this process.

Hi, you can call me Titus, and why not?. It’s a perfectly good name; it must be, it’s in the bible. I’d say I’m pretty much a heterosexual kind of guy most if the time, apart from one little kink that I can’t seem to get rid of and am no longer even sure that I want to.

I blame Donald for this. I was just 12 years old when he first exposed himself to me in the school toilet. Being two years older than me, his erection seemed mighty impressive, but though I was impressed, I was also profoundly shocked. I knew I was straight because I’d fallen madly in unrequited love with my best friend’s younger sister, but the thing is, in those days, I was also a compulsive people pleaser and so when he invited me to wank him, I did. It was an act of self preservation really. I mean, it doesn’t do to go upsetting sexually aroused guys who are much bigger and stronger than you when they’ve got you cornered in a toilet, does it! The mere feel of Donald’s hot phallus in my virgin hand (for I’d never touched another boy’s cock before) had my heart beating wildly in my chest. This felt unnatural; I shouldn’t be doing it and yet there I was actually doing it. But then I found myself fascinated by how his penis’s shiny outer elastic skin seemed to slide over his cock’s inner firmness as I masterbated him. Donald put his arm around my as I wanked, pulling me close to his side. I now recognise that this was not a friendly gesture on his part; he simply wanted to ensure I didn’t get away before I’d finished the job in hand. I can hear his voice in my head all these years later saying things like “oh yeah, Titus….. squeeze tighter….. now grab the end…….now go back to rubbin ……faster……faster……”

Donald’s copious ejaculations squirted a prodigious distance before falling pearly white on the toilet floor. (I was only producing a trickle myself at that age). His spread fingers dug into my shoulder as he orgasmed. Immediately after he’d finished shooting his load, Donald grabbed me and hugged me to him; smearing aftercum on my clean school uniform trousers that he insisted on rubbing off for me. This was blatantly in order for
him to grope my own semi arousal, which he duly did. He wanted to wank me off then and there but tlessons were due to start so there wasn’t time and anyway, I wasn’t even sure I wanted him to. I was confused. I knew what had just happened wasn’t natural for me, a fact to which my still pounding heart was readily attesting, and yet I couldn’t deny that the intensity of the experience was something I wouldn’t mind recapturing, if only to investigate just why this should be so.

This I later tried to achieve by masturbating myself in my bedroom, but it just wasn’t the same. Tossing myself off felt as natural to me as breathing. No, at this point, I clearly saw that to get that special tang of excitement again, I’d have to do it with another boy; and the only boy that I knew for sure was up for it was Donald.

So it was then that Donald and I ended up together in a park toilet cubicle the following Sunday afternoon with our trousers and pants around our ankles. We wanked eachother off over the toilet pan. I can still recall the combined aroma of cheap disinfectant and stale piss that pervaded the place. The sound of our every movement and breath was amplified as it was echoed back to us off the gloss painted brick walls. There was a pervasive aura of perversion in the air in that place which the crude graffitied images of erect cocks ejaculating all around us only served to enhance. The sight and feel of Donald’s big hand on my comparatively slim willy, my rather girly hand encircling the broad girth of his manly cock, plus the fact that we could have both been arrested at any moment for doing what we were doing did something to me that afternoon which has never been undone. For a start, it got me exposing myself to danger and rather enjoying the thrill of it. Right then and there, big, butch Donald could have done anything to me and I’d have been powerless to stop him. This I also found strangely thrilling. One thing I was quite unaware of at the time was that by exposing myself to what I could only describe as a perverted sort of sex made later conventional sex seem somehow tame by comparison. Sex with girls would subsequenltly prove to be pleasantly natural, but sex with a boy? This would never be natural for me and yet I found the prospect of it strangely alluring.

With gasps and sighs, we orgasmed together, Donald’s semen shooting across the toilet pan to splatter on the up turned lid. My discharge merely trickled over Donald’s hand, which he proceeded to lick clean. The next thing I knew, Donald was kissing me and forcing his tongue into my mouth. This was gross and a step too far even for people pleasing me and despite his persistent entreaties, I steered well clear of Donald from then on.

Donald wasn’t right for me. He was too big, too powerful and definitely not pretty in the sense that my best friend’s sister was pretty. If I was turned on at all by his lewd attentions, it was only by the sexual sensations I experienced, certainly not by him. Mind you, there was something about that kiss that came back to haunt me. It was the taste of him when he thrust his tongue into my mouth. How on earth did he ever get a flavour like that? Then I realised that it was my cum on his lips and tongue that I was tasting and suddenly, it didn’t seem remotely revolting. Maybe this was something I could even acquire a taste for – if I practised enough.

What Donald left me with was the knowledge that sex had a cleanly natural side and a dirty unnatural side and henceforth, both would hold an attraction for me. Which would win? Was it possible to enjoy both? More on this story later.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Dick 11 ID:1evt3vt25lkx

    I was 11 and loved geting my balls lick and dick suck in my bed as he wank himself he was 59 he loved my hairless balls i loved hes mouth all over them it was so nice at the time