Bored Lonely Confession

Lying here naked on the couch stroking my cock while my girlfriend is sleeping in bed. Another night I’m looking for filth on the internet instead of raping her.

I’ve always been insatiable, born with a hand on my cock. I would get in trouble at home for constantly masturbating, thinking no one could know what I was doing under the blanket. Bath time with my female cousins ended when the twins decided they wanted to take turns rubbing my hairless cock when it was poking out of our bubble bath and my aunt came in and separated us.

Although I was never caught playing “I’ll show you mine” with their older sister in the pool. Even watched her shit under a tree by the pool while everyone watched. I did get caught jerking myself in the closet while she showed me her sealed slit. And the last time we talked she was being a brat and I threaten to pull her top off if she didn’t quit, so she ended up topless in front of our other cousin. The look on his face was priceless as he saw her freshly sprouted buds.

I used to trade blow jobs with boys in the playground, we were all the same age and it didn’t seem like a big deal to us, even when groups of girls would quit playing and gather around us while we took turns swallowing each others tiny dicks.

It was a long strange trip to get here and that’s probably a story for another day but that’s all to say I’m a sexual deviant. I met my girlfriend on a master slave dating site and she got me hooked the night we were having phone sex and she told me about how she was forced into doing meth when she was 12 and used by a group of people for days. One of the first times we fucked she confessed she used to fuck her brother and only stopped because he started to ejaculate. When I asked her how long she fucked him she got real awkward and whispered “a long time”. When I pressed for more details she started crying and told me she thinks she molested him and couldn’t talk about it anymore. I loved it.

She was my anal pig. She liked to pretend to be a baby while I molested her. I stretched her holes to fit my fist and loved making her squirt everywhere. I made her suck her shit coated dildo clean over face time while her son was in the other room in her thin walled apartment. She was filthy enough to agree to seduce and fuck one of her sons friends, leaking all over herself as she told me her plans to make him cum inside her.

Then things dwindled to a stand still. We don’t know what killed her libido but her sexual urges are all but non existent now sadly. She’s willing to just spread her legs and be used and I did a few times, even raping her ass just to hear some real emotion while I fucked her but that’s honestly boring, especially for someone who needs mental sexual stimulation.

I tried to leave her when our relationship turned into basically roommates but she lives in my house and has no place to go so it didn’t work out. I started seeing someone else, a real piece of shit (in a wonderful way), and we almost started a poly relationship but my girlfriend couldn’t take it and broke down begging me to stick with only her. It was good for a week.

Even though she was probably lying she said she was feeling lustful again and put effort into participating in our sex life for the first time in 5 years. It was great. She’d hungrily feast on my dick, trying her best to take as much in as she could, occasionally puking on the floor and going back at it sucking her puke off my dick and not saying a negative word. She’d suck her period off my dick and her ass after filled it with cum.

She was being a brat one night and I beat her. I beat her body black and blue, whipping her with her belt like her father used to, punching her tits and mound, choking her and slapping her face. I was in heaven. It made me incredibly hard and I had no choice but to finish her punishment forcing myself into her ass. She unfortunately learned her lesson because now she stops when she’s told but her tiny spark of libido slowly disappeared again.

Now we fuck most weekends. She puts in slight effort talking dirty and spreading her legs. I think about finding someone to rape her while I watch after I make her take double of her sleeping meds. That’s about the most excitement we have these days. It’s disappointing.

I think about calling that other girl, I miss watching her piss and shit all over her moms house and suck her little dogs cock. She had a well used asshole but a very tight cunt and could deep throat me, that was a pleasant surprise. But she’s flaky so it’s probably best not to contact her.

So I lay here, stroking my dick, imagining my filthy life before now while I try my best not to rape my girlfriend. Sigh.

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