The Anatomy of a Freak: Part I
Now that I’m in my 40’s I’m finding myself much lonelier than I’m comfortable with and it’s making me look back on my life.
I’ve seen and done some pretty strange stuff in my life. I’ve been places I’ve never thought I’d go and been with people I never imagined being with. I’ve started unraveling the stories and whatnot of my 40+ years on this rock and I’m dissecting them to get to what made me who I am today. On the outside I suppose I appear rather normal but on the inside I’m a total mess.
As I said I’m in my 40’s now and despite being sexually active with boys as early as when I was 12, I’ve always considered myself straight. It was only recently that I’ve admitted to myself that I am indeed bisexual. How I got there? That’s a long story…
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had sexual thoughts. In 2nd grade I remember having my first crush on a classmate and even kindergarten, I thought my teacher was beautiful. I’ve been told by others that sometimes people who mature earlier sexually have been abused or even shown pornography. Me? I don’t recall ever being sexually abused and as for porn… I discovered that for myself.
I started masturbating when I was 9. Once I discovered that, there was no stopping me. One night not long after I discovered the pleasures of rubbing my dick, I awoke in the middle of the night. I got up to go to the bathroom and like most kids, I heard my parents having sex. Maybe most 9 year olds wouldn’t have a clue what was going on but I already knew what was going on in the next room. I heard my mom moaning and panting trying not to be too loud. I heard my dad grunting as he tried to keep his voice down as well. Forgetting all about my bladder issues, I decided to investigate.
I pressed my ear against their bedroom door but all it did was muffle the sounds. I could tell that their lights were off from the crack under the door so I tested the door knob and to my surprise, it wasn’t locked.
Now I know most kids are grossed out by the thought or sight of their parents fucking but as I turned that door knob and pushed the door open a crack, my heart raced and my cock swelled up. I was beginning puberty already and like many many boys my age, I was in love with my mom. She was affectionate and kind with to me. After all, I was her baby boy. I received treatment that my older sisters never got. I was spoiled rotten by my mom and because of that I was a mommas boy.
The door cracked open a bit and the sound of my parents fucking less than 10’ from me was much clearer now. It was much too dark to make out what exactly was going on but if I had to guess, they were in a missionary position with her legs wrapped around his waist. I only watched for 20 seconds or so before gently closing the door. My penis was rock hard at this point and I forgot completely about going to the bathroom and retreated to my room to masturbate.
I had a very active imagination, still do. I also have an incredible memory. At this point in my childhood, I would still shower with my mom every other night. I wasn’t able to do an adequate job of washing myself so she took it upon herself to shower with me to insure I was properly cleaned.
The following night was our shower night. I had seen my mother naked a thousand times at this point but this time became a turning point for me. As she started to wash my hair, her breasts were directly in my face and as she scrubbed my hair, the jiggled just perfectly. I did the best I could not to get aroused but it was to no avail. Casually covering my erection with my hands seemed to work well enough as she said nothing or did nothing out of the ordinary. However, as she began to soap up her body, I couldn’t control myself and I began softly massaging my penis. She didn’t say anything to me at the moment but she had to have noticed because the very next day we had, “the talk”.
A few days had passed without anything major happening when out of no where, my parents decided to go out on a dinner date. They rarely left the house and even more rare was them spending time together. Outside of the occasional sex romp when dad stumbled home drunk at 2am, they hardly got along.
They left my older sister Tess in charge. Tess, was 21 at the time and had zero interest in me or anything I had going on. To her and my other sister I was just an inconvenience. You see, I was an unplanned and for the most part unwanted pregnancy. My two sisters were 12 and 11 when I was born.
Tess pretty much ignored me the whole night, just sitting downstairs watching TV and talking on the phone. For some reason I had gotten it in my head that night to sneak into my parents room and see what I could see.
The first place I looked was the two drawers on either side of their bed. On my dads side, I found a pack of cigarettes, a box of condoms (which at the time I had no idea what they were) and a few pornographic magazines. I casually flipped thru them for a few minutes in awe of what I was seeing. Mom’s drawer wasn’t nearly as exciting as I found a bag of candy and some tissues.
As tempting as it was to return to my dad’s drawer I continued on. I began to rummage thru my dad’s dresser finding nothing of any importance. It was when I got to my mom’s dresser that something triggered inside me and my whole life direction took a major turn.
The first drawer I searched thru was just some pajamas and sweatpants but the second changed my life. I opened the top drawer and all my mom’s underwear was just sitting there. I picked up the pair on top and held them up. My mom was a bigger woman, not huge but she wasn’t thin by any stretch of the imagination.
The pair of underwear was black and it was a silky spandex kind of material. I rubbed it with my fingers for a few seconds before putting them back and picking up a second pair similar to the first but red. I dug a bit more and found a few bras. I didn’t know how to at the time but as I got older I learned how to read the bra size. My mom was a 38C. I did the same thing, rubbed them between my fingers a bit. I loved the way it felt between my finger tips!
As I reached as far back as I could in the drawer I felt something hard. I grabbed it and pulled it out. It was a dildo! I’m guessing this thing was 10” but it’s hard to tell in my memory of my 9 year old hands. Based on what I had in my pants, I knew what it was, but I had no clue what it was used for. I just remember holding it and wiggling it around and thinking to myself “wow, I can’t wait until mine is this big!” If it was a 10” dildo, I never made it there. I am a solid 8-8.5” though.
I put all her stuff back as best I could and went on to the next drawer. In there I found all my mom’s lingerie and other sexy clothes. She had stockings, sexy bras and panties, lingerie and nightgowns in there. I think I pulled every piece of clothing out of there and ran it thru my fingers and enjoyed every minute of it.
There was on particular nightgown that she wore sometimes that was just a red silk shirt with black lace around the neck and end of the short sleeves. I had seen her wear it a hundred times. It stood out to me because when she wore it, she never had any pants on. The nightgown went about halfway down her thighs. Something told me to take that, so I did. I cleaned up their room as best I could and went back to my room with the red silk nightgown. I hid it in my closet so no one could find it.
Mom and dad came home late that night. I was already in bed but still awake. I had a large stuffed rabbit that my grandma had gotten me for easter one year. It was rather big and I had cut a small hole in the crotch of it and would sometimes fuck it. The soft cotton inside always felt kind of nice. That night I had taken the red nightgown and put it on the rabbit as best I could and cuddled up with it. It smelled of my mom and made me feel good.
I heard my sister, Tess, leave and within minutes of her leaving I heard my parents do what I had hoped they would do. They began to have sex! Once again I quietly crept out of my bedroom and to my surprise, they weren’t in their room. They were at the bottom of the staircase. They had to be drunk because they weren’t trying to be quiet and the lights were on. My dad was sitting on the bottom few stairs and his pants were around his ankles. He had his back to me so I knew he couldn’t see me as I crept as close to the edge of the top of the stairs as I could where I could still dart away if I got caught.
My mom was noticeably sucking his cock as I could see just a little of her head bouncing up and down. I remember my mom coming up for air for a second and saying “you wanna fuck my ass tonight?” Again, at 9, I wasn’t completely sure what she meant by that at the time but as I got older I certainly understood. Dad just mumbled something back but I couldn’t make out what he said.
It must have been something good though because at that point my mom stood up and turned around, pulled her pants down and bent over shoving her ass right in his face. I have no idea what hole he started licking but mom began moaning awfully loud. This went on for a minute or two and I’m pretty sure she came because I remember mom standing up straight and saying “Christ, that was quick!”
My mom grabbed dad by the hand and they moved out of my line of sight to the couch. Not one part of my brain told me to go back to my room. I was all in on watching this!
I started to hear my mom making some moans and talking really dirty. My mom was so quiet and sweet and it really surprised me to hear her talk like that. I used her noise to cover my noise I was making as the steps creaked each time I took a step down. Once I got halfway down the stairs I could see them well enough. Mom was bent over the arm of the couch and dad was behind her. She was moaning and breathing heavily and based on their dialogue, he was fucking her in the ass!
“I’m gonna cum so hard!” My dad yelled
“You’d better!” Mom moaned back
“Oh shit I’m cumming!” Dad groaned and hunched over mom’s back.
“I can feel your cum inside me!” Mom cried out
Dad then pulled out and collapsed into his favorite recliner chair while mom rolled over onto the couch and laid there both trying to catch their breath. This was my only chance to get back to my bedroom without being caught. I slowly crept back up the 6 or 7 steps and to my room. I immediately took off all my pajamas and grabbed that stuffed rabbit. I fucked it for about 20 seconds before I climaxed.
I fell asleep about an hour after that, trying to stay awake in the event my parents started fucking again but they didn’t. And so started my first of many many kinks I have. They all blossomed from this one particular week in my life. The first… It was the first of many times over the next 3 that I got off watching my parents fuck!
#Exhibitionist #PreTeen #Voyeur