Real story of how I was blackmailed by my cousin

I typed out 800 words for this in detail and then my phone died so I lost it all.this is a super TRDL How my incest and feet fetish started .

When I was younger my cousin from a foreign country said lets play doctor. At first It was normal then somehow it lead to kissing. It felt so euphoric and hot . I loved it being as it was my first sexual experience. She was a couple years older than me. After a while I started to feel so bad about it. I told her I didnt want to do it anymore she started blackmailing me by saying she would tell everybody that I basically raped her. Being terrified I complied to everything she would say. On the last couple days of us staying there she led me into a wooden shack on the roof of my grandparents house and she shoved me onto a mattress on the floor of this sketchy ass place which now that im older I think about it
1. Why in the fuck was there a single mattress on the floor in basically a chicken coop and
2. Why did she know about it.
Anyways she threw me onto the mattress and I start feeling uncomfortable we kiss but I dont feel good at all it feels so wrong . She asked me if I wanted to have sex and I told her I never did that before and she was surprised?! I knew I didnt want to lose my virginity to my cousin so I abruptly got up and left with a pit in my stomach so deep that it felt like I was going to vomit because I thought for sure she was going to tell everybody and accuse me as the abuser for not doing what she said. Thankfully she never did as far as I know and I haven’t gone back since a child. I realized how this FUCKED me up as an adult and how I have these weird fetishes that make me feel like im sick in the head. But the thought of somebody else fucking their family is so errotic to me I cant help it.

Now to my foot fetish that began with my sister.

It started by my sister asking me for foot rubs after she got off work when i was in middle school. (Shes 7years older than me) I would oblige but I started realizing that I really loved the way her feet would smell after a long days of work. Thats when my dick would start to twitch and i would start to get so hard . She would continue to ask for massages but I would try to put a pillow as a barrier so she wouldnt notice my erect cock. One day during a massage she asked me if I thought her feet were pretty. I said yea trying not to be weird. She asked me if I had a foot fetish and me not knowing what a fetish is , I asked her , she told me that its when someone likes feet and I said “no i dont think so”
Things changed when we moved around when i went to highschool . Me and my sister would sleep in the same bed because we didnt have that much furniture. Every night I would have access to her soles and I had so much pleasure. Eventually though she got her own bed in her own room. Sometimes I would sleep in her bed while we would watch a movie. One night she asked me to sleep in her bed, i obviously agreed. When I got there i laid down and started browsing through different movies. She took some pills out of her dresser and took them. I asked and she told me they were muscle relaxers. She also added that I can pick whatever because they put her to sleep. She knocked out fast as fuck. I called her names a few times and she didnt respond . I just hear snoring so i shake her a bit and she kept on snoring. The way she went to sleep on her stomach gave me perfect access to her soles. I start licking every inch of them. For at least an hour I was having my way with my sisters feet. I built up confidence and started jerking off while licking her soles. I got up and started using her feet to give myself a footjob and it was the most amazing experience I ever had. At one point it felt like her toes were scrunching on my balls and I got scared and stopped then I left to go finish in my own room. I never came so hard in my life. To this day I think she might have knew what she was doing. But then again it could be my fucked up ass brain trying to justify myself for what I did.

Now as a young adult I realized the cycle of abuse and what a terrible person I am for liking the shit that I do. I realized my sex addiction is directly correlated to being exposed to sex at such a young age. Im not trying to make excuses for what Ive done because trust me💯 I hate myself completely. I hate that im aroused by incest and feet but honestly its the only thing that makes me cum. Normal porn doesnt do it for me anymore. I hope maybe one day I can find someone whos been through similar situations and we can talk about it without having to feel bad about our experiences.

And again I wrote out a much more detailed and complete story but my phone died before I posted it so It deleted unfortunately.
If anybody wants to talk about real situations that happened to them judge free comment below your telegram discord or reddit page and l can be your place to vent. It honestly feels good to write this out because I never told anybody and Ill probably take it with me to the grave.

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