Every man in my household molested me, and now that I am older, I think about it when I come…

Grew up with my grandparents; my grandpa,uncle and brother would molest me.I’m now a disgusting whore and I even think about it when I masturbate

I don’t even know where to start with this. I’ve been looking for somewhere to write out my story and vent for a long time. So much to tell! I am the nastiest fucking whore you would ever meet, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at me. Where it all began was my drug addicted parents gave us up, and my grandparents eventually took in my two older sisters and I when I was around 5. I was around 10 that my older brother (20) started molesting me and my sisters. I’d wake up to him picking me up out of bed and carrying my into his bedroom. He’s try to give me beer which I never drank and he’d play porn and show me dirty pictures of women. If ever we were alone he’d always make me sit on his lap. I think my uncle supported him too and knew. My uncle was older at least 40. He’d have me sit on his lap and run my legs and tell me they were soft. I didn’t know any better. They’d do the same things to my sisters. Another night I woke up to my nightgown up and my brother was inspecting my body up close with a flashlight. Another time he had me lift up my nightgown and lay in bed with my eyes closed and ears covered. I did it because he said he’d give me 5$ for some candy. That was the first time I whored myself haha. It kept progressing and getting more intense. I’d wake up to him next to me in bed in the morning with his hard cock out. I didn’t know anything about that stuff so I’d just stare and be uncomfortable. I was always crying and uncomfortable and ask him “why?”. I remember one time his answer was “why do you think?” And I didn’t know what to think. I had issues and was shown sexual things at an early age so while the abuse made me uncomfortable, I’d still do weird things like walk around the house naked or try on my big sisters high heels and walk around my room in them and nothing else. I’d hump stuffed animals and stuff, so maybe that’s why.
He’d always sneak in my room and take me in the middle of the night. One night he had me in his bed and took off my clothes. He had me laying on my back with my knees up to my chest, thighs together, and was rubbing his dick in between my thighs with Vaseline. I was crying.. he didn’t stop until he came on my stomach, and I said EW WHATS THAT!!? That was the closest he ever got to raping me. That was the day he kept me in his room too long and it was time to wake up for school, my grandpa came barging in and my brother picked me up and threw me across the bedroom so hard. My grandpa never did anything. He (grandpa) would always corner me when no one was around and rub himself against my backside.. anyway,
that was the same day I found out my brother would do it to my sisters too. Eventually we got taken away from my grandmas house and put into foster care and group homes. My brother never got in any trouble. Since my sisters were older he’d do more to them. And he raped my oldest sister when she was 16. I don’t talk to him anymore but I still have to see my uncle and grandpa and I do love them but I’ve never told anyone how both of them would always rub on me when I was just a little girl.
That’s only the beginning of what fucked me up for life, there’s so much more…but sometimes I wish he did rape me and even now I have a vibrator to my dripping wet pussy writing this. Sometimes I wish I could put on a little barbie nightgown like I had on that night, and have a man wake me up my inspecting me up close with a flashlight…
I still hate him though. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I know I am fucked up in the head.
What’s disgusting is this shit runs in my family, my other brother raped my sister.. but no one ever talks about it and acts like it didn’t happen. My husband heard about it, and he knows how fucked up in the head I am so he accuses me of having sex with my other brother. It’s so embarrassing he thinks of me as a family slut, he thinks I fuck all my cousins too. And it ashamed me and I get so mad at him for even thinking that because I know how wrong that is. It’s just a private thing I secretly think of in my head that I deserved all that because I am a nasty worthless whore and I should just spread my legs for any man, I learned that from a young age. I am the biggest fucking whore you’ll ever meet. Let me know if you want to hear about when I was 13 I lost my virginity to four other teen boys!!! I can’t make this shit up… I wish i was

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