Nocturnal Ad Mission

My uncle passed out in the living room, but I got up to get a drink from the fridge.

My mom, and dad were out of town, on a trip, but they got snowed out of the valley. Up in the mountains, skiing for the weekend, the pass was closed before they could get back.

So, they called uncle Rob to keep an eye on the house, make sure I got to school in the morning. Too bad the snow didn’t stick, it just melted as soon as it hit the roads down here. So, it was still a school night, and I had to go to bed early.

“Huh!” Then, I came out to hear the TV in the hallway. It was on an infomercial for some wonder blender, that magically extracts more nutrients out of Kale by pureeing it with water than you can just chewing it up raw.

I just shook my head, and muted it before they told me which one, the Ninja, Bullet, or some other brand jumping on the bandwagon. Then, I leaned over the fridge, and just kinda zoned out. Blinked at the beers when I felt goosebumps forming on my arms, holding the fridge open, in the heated kitchen.

I just grabbed some orange-pineapple cocktail, and checked the dishwasher for a glass. Sniffed it to smell Cascade, to tell if it had been run tonight, or lately. I shook my head, realizing I hadn’t emptied it all weekend, since I had the house to myself, I just ordered takeout.

Pizza, Chinese, so there was nothing but coffee cups, and chopsticks in the sink. Boxes, and cartons in the recycling bin, “Kah!” I added the juice glass to the stack, and padded out to the living room.

Where uncle Rob was man-spread on the couch. He didn’t even lay down, I looked down the hall at the closet, thinking about grabbing him a pillow, and a blanket. He had his jacket hanging from one arm of the sofa, so I picked it up, and wrinkled my nose at the smell of stale smoke.

I shook my head, when I found myself smelling it. It was still cold, but it smelled like his shirt, when I hugged him. Then, I felt the bag of Run Runner Crooks. He smokes cigars, he calls “Cheroots,” but they’re twisted up like stoner wraps, and I thought about stealing one. I thought about it before, what would an L taste like, if you rolled it up in a rum cured wrap?

Better than those cheap fruit flavored ones you can get at the gas station, but glancing over, I saw something down his pantleg. Straining to get out, so hard the thick heavy fabric pulled tight over the head. I swear, I could see the rim around it, and everything.

“Huh!” I sat back on the chair, and even looked over at the TV screen. Miracle Juicer? Come on, it’s just a food processor with a spout, but I shook my head. Biting my lip, I can’t believe I’m looking at Uncle Rob’s big dick, and it does look like a real big dick from here. I rubbed the flannel against my legs, with my hands, and of course I’ve seen bigger.

Yeah, in pictures, and movies. Maybe it’s not a porn star cock, but what’s so hot about Elle McPherson? I know, she used to be a swimsuit model, way back in the day, but there’s not enough makeup to conceal the wrinkles around her eyes, and those might have been dimples once, but now they’re just wrinkles.

I can’t believe I’m jealous of Elle McPherson. She just happened to be the spokesmodel they got to sell the new Miracle Juicer, but you know. Guys get boners in their sleep, even without Girls Gone Wild on late-night TV. I’m so horny now, I don’t care, I’m just rubbing my knuckles into the cotton flannel of my winter sleep shorts. They’re practically PJs, only cut off, and hemmed at about mid-thigh, and for some reason I’m imagining him in matching boxer shorts.

Red, and green checks, so they ride up, and his 1 eyed wiggly worm peeks out, in the light of the TV. Like imaginary X rated vision, I’m finally wet, and lose enough to dip a finger in. My middle finger, so my other 3 slip down my hot swollen lips, and I bite one so I don’t moan out loud. “Mhn!” Before I can hold my breath.

“SNH?” I glance up, and a blue glint disappeared when he closed his cracked eye, so fast I could imagine I imagined it.

He snorted, and rolled over. Finally curling up on the couch, with his leg crossed over, so his knee hung off, and I bit my lip.

Leaning over to pick up the remote, carefully. The room went dark, and I picked up his jacket, to drape over his hip.

I heard the leather rustle against the vinyl of the couch, and looked back from the hall. He uncrossed his legs, then switched so his bottom knee hung off. Digging around in his pants before he pushed the brown leather jacket up to his shoulder.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” I backed into my room, pulling the door almost closed. Then, I peeked around to see him unbutton his jeans, one handed. Covering my mouth so I didn’t gasp when he pulled it out. Nope, black briefs, or boxer briefs of some type. Tight lycra blend? I don’t know, but I got 2 fingers in easily, and pulled the draw-string, so my shorts could fall down around my slippers.

“Huh, snh!” I covered my mouth, so I didn’t moan, or whimper again, and tried to hold my breath.

He grunted, and held it out. I closed my eyes, once the glistening lines stop appearing on his pant leg, and bit my hand. Gasping, and the door shut loudly when I leaned against it. Shaking, and humping the door knob into my hip.

“Huh!” I finally staggered back, weak kneed in the dark to fall back on my bed. Panting, with the fresh orgasm still spinning through my head, and running down my hot legs to my cold knees, until I could stop squeezing them together.

“Huh!” I finally just kicked off my shorts, and pulled my covers back over me, shivering until they started warming up. I couldn’t sleep now, I was wide awake, and sexually satisfied, but now my curiosity was getting the best of me.

So, I had to go up, crack the door quietly, and listen to him snoring loudly with my ear. I got brave, and kicked off my slippers so they didn’t flip-flop on the cold floor. Half naked, I snuck out, and held onto the coffee table so I didn’t have to touch the couch to bend over, and see the dark wet streaks still soaking into the blue denim.

In the light over the sink, reflected off the living room wall, but my back to it, so the sexy mess was in shadow, I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath through my nose, to get my first smell of man juice.

“Huh!” My curiosity satisfied, I went back to bed, and finally to sleep, with a big dirty grin on my lips.

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