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Angelica part 2, hormones!

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I was actually christened in a church with the name Angus. But I started using Angelica secretly when I was about 7

So, my Mom supported me and she had some very cross conversations with my Da. After visiting the doc that first time she sat with me as I poured my heart out to our family doctor and she immediately ordered some tests to see if there was anything about my body.

Sh gave me a full physical exam but I would not let my Mom be there, instead just the doc and her nurse. She really examined me and she looked very closely at my testes and my penis and she even pout her finger up my bum! That was a bit gross. Then I had some blood taken from my arm by the nurse and this was to be sent away for analysis. Then Mom came back in the doc, bless her, told Mom I was very under-developed for a male, that a lot of my body looked like an undeveloped female and that with a mind that kept telling me I was a girl, this all had to be looked into.

Mom asked if I should become a girl but the doc just said she should leave me alone and let me explore myself. Be a girl one day, or one night, or over the weekend. But she cautioned me and told me I was not to shape my eyebrows and I should keep on being a boy at school.

I felt very relieved with this and I went home sort of happy. When I told Cat (my bestie) she was really happy.

The doctors surgery rang Mom 2 days later and said we had to go in immediately so she came and got me from school. When we arrived I was sent straight into the exam room and Mom had to come too. The doc came in, smiled, and said well Angus, or should I call you Angelica (I told her Angie was the name I liked best), you have given us a puzzle. First, your blood is showing us you do not have much testosterone and so your male development really is impeded, or slow. But the worrying thing she said was that I had too much estrogen in me. All boys and men have estrogen (;ile girls apparently have testosterone) but the worry was really where was it coming from.

That meant I had to do scans so that the doc could look inside me. She said I had one deformed testicle that had not descended and one that seemed normal but it kept going up and down in my body. She also thought I could have some little nubs behind my nipples.

Anyway that is all just boring stuff. What the medical people did find was that I was sort of half boy and half girl. I had an ovary! That was producing estrogen and I was just starting to have some female puberty which meant I did have proper breast nubs.

We had a big decision and one was whether to have some exploratory surgery to look at my ovary, my testicle and also to see if there were any girl bits sort of hidden away.

This all took weeks and weeks and I am crying now and I can’t finish this story. But I will, I promise.

I did know that I was going to be a girl and that I might be able to have my penis cut off, which I so desperately wanted.

I will tell you more when I stop crying.

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1 Comment

  • Reply me ID:8b9fb9uxik

    can’t wait to hear more from this i hope everything goes well in your journey 🙂