Make it Feel Better

Mommy brought home a dirty movie for daddy, and they sent me out to play, because it was for adults, but then my neighbor climbed up on the fence to look in the window.

I couldn’t see from there, but I could hear him scraping the other side. So, I asked “What are you doing up there?”

He said “I’m coming over to play with you,” but then when he jumped down, he just wanted to tell me how pretty I am, and how “You look just like your momma.”

I said “Thank you!” Just to be polite, because that’s the sort of thing my grandparents said. You look so much like your mother did when she was my age. Oh, about 8 years old?

I didn’t keep a diary or anything to tell you the exact date he took my virginity, but I didn’t know exactly what they did. Of course, it was grown up stuff they’d tell me when I was older, but John was a teenager.

I knew that they were married, because they loved each other, and that’s why it’s called making love. He sat down at the picnic table, only backwards so his legs hung off the side, and he made a lap. He said “Sit with me,” but then he scooted over, and put me on his lap. He started hugging, and kissing me.

Then, he stopped and asked me how that made me feel. “Sleepy?” I only been kissed goodnight before, but I knew that grownups hugged and kissed like that before they went to bed together, to sleep together.

So then John got up on the table, and lay down with me to play nitenite, but he kept molesting me until he got in my pants. It was dark, so the only light I could see was the blue glow shining out the window to the den.

Finally, he unzipped his pants, and put my hand on it. I asked him if he had to pee, because it felt really full of pee, and also my daddy woke up with morning wood, sometimes. Then, he went in the bathroom to pee, and when he came out it was all better. It wasn’t huge, but I was so little that it was more than big enough.

“No, that means it likes you. Get up, I’ll show you.” It turns out that I could see up in the window, standing on the picnic table, and mommy had her top off. I couldn’t see the movie they were watching, but then she looked down, and daddy was hard too. So, she bent down to put it in her mouth.

“Huh!” I covered up my mouth, but then John got my pants down, and goosed my crotch from behind. “You want to try that?” He stuck his head under my arm, and all a sudden I felt something, I thought was love. I knew John from just over the fence, but we never talked to each other. He was a boy, and almost twice my age, I didn’t even have an older brother for him to play with.

So, he was practically a stranger, but I didn’t think that of him. That he might be that kind of stranger, you don’t want to talk to. All the hugging, and kissing got to me, and then he started rubbing my privates, so I thought that feeling might even be love?

“Okay,” I turned around, and he stood up on the bench.

“Open wide,” he put it in my mouth, but I just sucked on the end, and let him rub the rest, until he grunted.

“Uh, you peed in my mouth!”

“Uh, huh!” He was breathless for a moment, then he turned and sat back down. Catching his breath, he said “No, that’s not piss, it’s jizz.”

“Oh,” I barely tasted the first splash, and then I spit it out, but the rest of it got in my hair, and all over my shirt. So I touched it. “What’s jizz?”

“Well,” he hugged me, and told me the facts of life. What sex is, and where babies come from, but he kept on hugging me, and touching me the whole time, and I still had my pants down around my knees.

So, he put me in his lap, and touched me inside my underwear. I couldn’t really listen to him, I was so distracted by everything, but then he finally finished, and I asked him “So, mommy’s going to have a baby?”

“Well,” then he started talking about birth control, and sometimes it’s not easy to get pregnant. “Besides, he has to put it in here.”

“Uh, ow!” He must have found the hole, because the next thing I know, he forced his finger inside me. “That hurt!”

“I know,” he hugged me, and kissed me. “It always hurts the first time, but I promise you it will feel much better.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah,” he got an idea, “Take this dirty top off, and let me kiss it.”

I rubbed my sore crotch, “You promise it will make it better?”

He kissed me on the lips, and then he said “I promise.”

“Okay,” he lay me down, and spread my legs, but then he pulled me out to the edge so he could get down, and stick his tongue in there. It didn’t feel that much better, but it didn’t hurt like his finger did.

Then sure enough he got hard again. So, he got up on top of me, and it took him a little while to find it, but then he forced his way inside me, and I screamed.

“Ow stop, it hurts, you’re hurting me!” Until finally daddy heard me, and came out to chase John around the yard. He had to pull his pants up, so daddy caught him easily, and beat the shit out of him. Mommy called the cops so they could come and arrest him for raping me.

I’m not so sure, it certainly hurt, and he didn’t stop when I told him to, but he definitely took advantage of me.

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