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One for the Road

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My mom got drunk, and shitty in the middle of the day. In the middle of the week, so I just left.

She’s not always like this, even when she’s drunk, but she woke up grumpy with a hangover. So then she decided to drink away the headache, and that just made her mood even worse.

Finally, my step-dad started fighting with her, so she’d stop yelling at me, and I could grab my purse. Take off, and I don’t know where I was headed. I was too busy running through all the horrible things she said, and how much different she was today, for no reason.

And then, this truck pulled up with 2 boys in it. “Heading into town?” The guy in the passenger side leaned out, and when I looked around, I found myself on the highway.

“Yeah?” I guessed, so the driver said “Hop in back.”

“Okay,” it was a pickup truck, but he didn’t drive off while I was using the tire as a step. I knocked on the window when I was settled down, and we took off.

I couldn’t hear what they’re saying over the wind, and the back window was shut too, but then the driver pointed down, and looked back at me in the rear-view mirror. His friend reached over, and pulled up his shirt. The driver reached up to turn the mirror sideways, and look at me behind the passenger seat, then he put the arm-rest up so the passenger could lean over, with his head in the driver’s lap.

Oh, my god, they’re gay! I thought, but clearly, it was 2 guys giving blow jobs on the road, and it didn’t feel safe, but neither did riding in the back of a pickup truck. My hair whipping around in my face, so I had to put my hood up, and look around for Staters.

They really liked this stretch for setting up speed traps, and even pulled you over for not wearing your seat belt. It was that kind of county, and my boyfriend got a ticket just for riding his motorcycle without a helmet, but this.

This was gay, and I never really seen nothing gay, in real life before. Sure, I heard about the hole in the wall, at the gas station men’s room. I never been in there, of course. I’m a girl, but just the thought of a guy sucking dick. I didn’t notice before, when they picked my up, but they’re both kinda cute?

Actually, in that gay kinna way that men pay a little too much attention to the the way they dress. How much product they have in their hair, and their nails, too. You even get used to looking for stuff like that. Especially out in the country, where guys chew their nails, or just leave black crud under them from working on an engine. So, when you see one with a perfect manicure, you really got to wonder, but how else are queers supposed to find each other, when everybody is closeted?

I mean, I bet it’s harder for lesbians. Honestly, because what you look for in city lesbians is what they call a “Tomboy.” When you’re younger, a little girl wearing overalls, her hair up in a ponytail, and maybe some flannel?

Yeah, well that’s just how you dress when you’ve got chores around the farm. It ain’t the 1860s no more. You don’t go work the farm with your husband, and nephews buttoned up over a girdle, bustle, and petticoats so they don’t see your ankles. We all had overalls, because we all had chores to do around the farm.

I guess what I’m saying is those big city lesbos dress country, just like you see those big city homos in cowboy boots, western shirts, and stetsons. I guess you’d call it cosplay, on the internet. Not these boys, they’re dressed city, almost business casual in nice haircuts, polo shirts, and chinos.

I kinda have to wonder where they got this beat up silverado, for a nice drive, and some head in the country. Since they’re taking so long, honestly I never took so long on any of the boys I’ve been with. Finally, we pulled over, and the driver pulled his shirt back out over his lap. The other guy got out, and ran off to hop the fence. Disappeared in a field of sourgum, so I knocked on the window.

He put it in gear, and turned off the motor, then let go the clutch. Which gave me a minute to get up, and hop the tailgate, where I finally saw the Gas, Grass, or Ass bumper sticker. [NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE]

“Huh!” The door was left open, so I hopped right in, but he didn’t start up the motor right away. “Uhm,” I didn’t know what to say. “You smoke weed?” Pulling my hoody back, and my hair out of my face.

“Yeah,” he hooked his thumb over his shoulder, “You read the bumper sticker.”

“Hah yeah. If you turn around, I know a grower. I don’t got no gas can on me.” I patted my pockets, and reached back for the seat-belt, while he started her up again. So, I pulled the door closed too. “I wasn’t really headed into the city, or 6nowhere in particular.” I told him about my day, even though I appreciated the distraction. “Turn up here at that there cow.”

He laughed, “Out in the country, where directions involve a cow.”

“Yeah?” I’m country, so what? “There just happened to be a cow on the corner by the gate there. Ain’t always.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to offend you.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m so bitchy this morning, so we’re even.”

“How far?” He turned onto the gravel drive, and the turn signal clicked back when he straightened out the wheel.

“Um, about 3 quarter mile.” He had to slow down, but he never zipped up his pants that I could see. From where I was sitting in the corner, I couldn’t see anything except for that other dude leaned over, and his head bobbing up and down in his lap, but he didn’t even go for his fly. Just pulled his shirt out, to hang between his legs, and cover up anything shameful. “It’s not because you’re gay or nothing.”

He laughed, “I’m not gay. I know what it looks like, but a blow is a blow.”

“He didn’t have no gas, or cash neither.” I nodded.

“No, he was.” He took a deep breath, and shook his head. “Well, I guess you could say he insisted. He pointed out how we’re both dressed for church.”

“Wait, you’re Christian?”

“No, that’s what he said, just listen a minute, okay? I’ve got a job interview is all.” He reached up, and tried to fix the mirror, but bouncing around in the ruts like that. He checked his hair with his fingers, the bangs spiked up all city, but he talked normal.

“So, that’s what you’re headed into town for.”

“Yeah, but then this faggot was hanging around the Flying J, and he spotted my bumper sticker. I don’t know why I gave him a ride, but honestly. What makes a guy wanna suck a dick so bad anyhow?” Now, he sounded whiny.

“I don’t know, he sure took his time with it.”

“You’d think he’d do a better job.”

“Well, I don’t know. Out here, there ain’t exactly a whole lot of opportunities to practice. If you’re a guy, that is. What little homos we got are probly so closeted. Oh!” I turned back, “You missed it.” He pulled up, and put it in reverse. Backed up to the gate, and turned in to the side road. Which is even worse mind you. They can’t afford to gravel it like the main road.

I figured he’s used to it, being country and dressed up city for a job interview, but I didn’t ask what for. Honestly, I was too randy to care. “Just be a minute.” I got out, and he pulled up. Cut the motor, and even pulled the hand brake on the hill up to the house.

Boarding house, I figured he’d be home on a day like this, and sure enough his bike was in the garage. He’s not a grower, he’s just my boyfriend, but he knows a lot of growers around the county. “Hey man,” I looked around the living room, and lowered my voice. ‘you got a.’ I snapped my fingers together, between us where nobody could see them. To mime rolling a joint, and he put his arm around me. Took me upstairs, where I pulled his belt out.

Got down, and sucked him hard while he was twisting up one for the road. I remember what the driver said, or asked about wanting to suck a dick so bad. Well, I sucked it pretty good, and he blew it in my mouth before he even got all the buds broken up.

“Huh,” He bounced back on his bed, and caught his breath. “Well, this’s a nice surprise, what’s got into you?”

“What?” I tried to kiss him, then kissed his cheek with dick on my breath. “I’m your girlfriend.”

“Well, why don’t you set down and smoke a joint with your boyfriend?”

“I got to go.” I shook my head, and looked out the window. “Um, better yet, just put it in a cello with the paper, and I can roll it up on the road.”

“Well all right, but your momma called over here after you left, and you ain’t running away are you?”

“No? She’s the one that run me off.”

“It ain’t her boyfriend.”

“Uh!” I dug an empty pack out of the trash can to pull the plastic off the bottom. “No, honestly he’s a saint for putting up with her shit.”

“She sounded real worried.”

“Well, she sounded like a bitch, drunk in the middle of the week when she chased me off, but I really got to go.” I kissed him goodbye, and ran off with a stranger.

“I’m a Ted.” He shook my head when I got in, before he kicked the clutch, and started her up again. He had his head back when I jumped down off the porch, and covered up his lap again before I got to the door.

“Randy, I’m Randy, or Miranda, but you can call me Randy for short, since that’s what all my friends do, but you get it up again so quick?” He pulled off for the dirt road, and I already had the taste of jizz in my mouth, but what am I gonna say? I’m gonna go blow a total stranger for a ride, and that’s what the weed is for? I suppose, I always like to smoke for sex, and after to really enjoy the mood, but this is different.

I never blowed a stranger, you kinda get to know everybody around town, growing up with them, and this ain’t exactly a tourist stop. The gas station is mostly for locals, since they put in the Flying J. Most folks go there for cheap gas anyway, and the garage is mostly for if you need work done, or parts you don’t have to fix your own truck.

I’m stalling, cause I ain’t gonna be rolling a joint, nor blowing a stranger on the dirt road. That’s just asking for trouble, but I already had my mind all made up. Even the gravel was a little too rough to really risk catching it on my teeth, and it was too loud, but that just made me randier.

Oh yeah, and it ain’t nothing like Randy, any more than his name is Ted. I’m a Ted? Who the hell talks likeat, lessen there lying? I bet it’s something like Adrian, which starts with an A, and pronounced “A” unlike some of those other A names, like. Albert, I guess. I almost wrote Abel for some reason, but Ted is fine. Aint like we want to get to know each other, just making conversation till we get back out on the highway.

“Huh, maybe I should start hanging out at the truck stop for BJs, since most folks passing through ain’t homos.” Just to break the ice.

“Well, you’re gonna smoke me down, but I never really got off before I had to drop Johnny off.”

“That his name, Johny?” I turned and rubbed his leg. “Huh, let me see what you got here.” I had to pick it up, soft floppy, and wrinkled, but it bowed up in my hand with a couple pumps. “Huh this. This is for me, because I want it.”

“Oh, oh god that’s better.” He patted my head, and rubbed my hair, while I took my time to enjoy it. For once, ever before this it was just a part of 4 play. You know, to get him hard, and a little wetter so I didn’t have to wait for the juices to get flowing good enough to leak out.

“Mhm!” I nodded, and opened up my teeth wide, to stick it in my cheek, and rub the bottom. Sideways likeat, I’d rather get down in front of him. Rub it with my tongue, but I can’t next to him like this. The wheel’s in the way, but it ain’t exactly my first beej in a pickup. Or the back seat, if they got one.

“Snh!” He smelled different. Clean but horny, so I could tell him apart from any other man I had his dick in my mouth. “Mn mh mh mh mh!”

“Uh, that’s right faster. Faster, uh! HUH!”

Finally, I couldn’t wait any longer, and I went to town to finally satisfy him.

“UhHhHhH! UhHHhHhH!”

“Ahahehihn!” I shook my head, and took it on the cheek. Licking my lips, and looking up. “You sound like a motor. You know when boys are playing with their Tonkas, or Hotwheels, and trying to sound like a motor?”

“Hahaha. Yeah.” Finally, he pulled his boxers up, to drop his junk back in, and zip his fly up. “Whew! That was something else!”

“Thanks!” I popped the visor down, then back up when I saw there wasn’t a mirror. “Huh!” I got my phone out, and unlocked it.

“Now who you calling?”

“No one?” I turned, and looked out the corner of my eye to take a picture. “Um, you got a napkin or something to wipe this up with?”

Much as I wanted to swallow ever last drop again. I don’t know him, but I can’t believe how proud I am for sucking off a stranger likeat.

“Yeah,” he dug a bag out from between the seats, “Should be some in there.” Under a fry sleeve, with some catchup packets. “You always take a selfy after you get a facial?”

“First time for everything.” I cleaned up. “Huh, you mind just dropping me off over by where you picked me up at?”

“You’ll have to remind me.” He shook his head.

“Well, just turn around again, back the way we came, and I’ll point it out to you.”

I held my phone in my lap, and looked at the big grin on my face. The mess all the way up to my temple, and running down almost to my neck.

“Huh,” I looked so happy, and pleased with myself. “I don’t know why I took it.” I started crying, finally feeling ashamed of myself, and guilty of cheating on my boyfriend, but he pulled over, and let me out. So, I found a bush, down in the ditch where the county road crew won’t bother mowing. There’s a bush in the way, so I can put my feet up, get my panties down, and my fingers dirty.

“Huh!” I’m going to do it again. I know that, I’m going to do it again and again, I can just imagine all the truckers lined up around the corner of the Flying J just to pump me full of dick, and sperm, and knock me up. “Oh uh huh AH! AH!”

I just lay back, and laughed at myself. “Slutwhore.” I shook my head, and then I remembered the weed in my purse. So, I got it out, and rolled it up on my skirt to smoke on the walk home…

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