Betrayed by my family
My happy life was shattered when mum had an affair. My step dad and brothers took it out on me and I was raped and abused even in to adulthood.
I was a normal happy girl once, living with my mum, dad and brothers, we had a nice home, mum and dad had good jobs and I was never sad or afraid.
Mum met my stepdad when I was 5 years old, he already had two sons from a previous marriage, aged 4 and 8, mum married him and we became a family and I called him “Dad”, our happy life was shattered when I was 12 because my mum was unfaithful to my dad, they argued a lot and then decided to get a divorce, I was asked who I wanted to live with and even though I loved my mum I didn’t want to leave my brothers and my school and all my friends so decided to live with my stepdad.
I would regret that decision.
Dad was never the same after mum left, he struggled to cope with her betrayal and he starting drinking, first it was only on a weekend, then it got worse and he was drinking every other day, then it was every single day, it changed him and his mood changed towards me, he kept shouting at me and I felt like he hated me too even though I hadn’t done anything.
I was 14 when it happened, when it started, I woke up in the middle of the night hearing a tinging sound, I opened my eyes and looked around, I was startled when I saw dad sitting on my bed, he was holding a glass beer bottle and flicking it with his finger nail, that’s what the sound was that woke me up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, “Dad?” I questioned, wondering what he was doing in my room at this time at night.
“Shush.” He sounded, then he stroked his hand up and down my body above the covers, then he cupped my cheek in his palm and rubbed my face with his thumb.
“Are you okay, dad?” I asked.
He remained silent, looking at me strangely, he took a swig of his beer and then placed the bottle on the floor, his thumb swept across my lips, then he leaned forward and I realised he was about to kiss me, I pulled my arms out from the under the covers and pushed him back, “Dad, what are you doing?!” I snapped.
“You look so much like your mother.” He said, stroking the covers once again.
“I think you’ve had enough, dad. You need to go to bed. Please, dad.” I said, worried because he was acting so strangely.
“Why? – “ he said, then he grabbed both my arms angrily, “ – so you can laugh at me behind my back. So you can sneak out and go see your secret lover of yours.” He shouted.
He was really hurting my arms, “What the fuck are you talking about. Dad, get off me. You’re hurting me.” I shouted.
“You’re nothing but a fucking slut.” He snapped, then he swung his arm out and slapped me really hard on the side of my face, it really hurt, “Ouch – dad – stop.” I screamed, I threw my arms and legs around trying to fight him off but he was really big and far too strong for me.
He pulled off my bed sheets and sat over me pinning my legs down, then he pulled open my pyjama top, completely ripping the buttons off and pulling it violently off my arms, then slid down and pulled off my bottoms and my panties, I tried to fight him off, I really did, but there was nothing I could do to stop him, even when I cried he didn’t stop, my dad, who I loved very much had turned in to a monster.
He pulled down his pants and took his cock out, “Time for daddy to see what a little slut you are.” He said, he laid on top of me with my legs at his sides, he was touching me, feeling my body, kissing me in intimate places and slobbering all over me, it was disgusting.
Then he paused when my brothers, now aged 13 and 17, appeared at my bedroom door, “Get him off of me, please. Help me.” I shouted when I saw them.
“Turn that light on. Come over here, boys.” Dad told them.
They turned on the light and came over just as they were told, “What are you doing, dad?” they asked.
“I want you both to watch this.” He said, then I felt his cock press between my legs, “No, dad, please, don’t, daddy.” I begged him to stop, my dad was about to rape me and my brothers did nothing to stop him, I didn’t understand why they’d all turned on me, I fought and screamed again, then, in a split second, he forced himself inside me, and he wasn’t gentle about it either, he just fucked me really hard and fast.
The pain was unbearable and I felt so helpless, I continued to scream and beg for help and I’d never felt so lonely in all my life, the moment I felt him come inside me my whole world, my happy life, came crashing down around me, I fell silent and my body went numb, my mind went foggy and it was like my very soul had been drained away.
I just laid still like I was in a trance and I heard them talking, dad go off of me, “Right boys, time for you to become men. Fuck this slut.” He said, they were hesitant, “Well go on then.” Dad commanded.
My younger brother went first, they both raped me, I felt them inside me and they turned my head and were kissing me but I wasn’t there, my mind had already left, leaving behind my body for them to abuse, when they’d finished they left my room and turned out the light, I heard them laughing and joking and dad was proud of what they’d done to me, they just left me body on the bed, bruised and battered.
I didn’t go to school for the next week because of my bruises and black eye, dad didn’t want anyone asking questions, I tried tell my mum, I was on the phone to her about to tell her what happened when dad walked up behind me, he took the phone from me and made out everything was fine, then after he put the phone down he beat me really bad and I was so scared of him, he had so much control over me, controlling me with fear, so much so that I never told anyone about the abuse.
After that night I was raped daily by all of them, dad even went as far as removing my bedroom and the bathroom door, literally unscrewing them and throwing them out, so I couldn’t have any privacy, simply going to the toilet or taking a shower was an opportunity for them to rape me, which they did, constantly.
I became pregnant at 16 and had a baby boy, being pregnant was actually a relief because they stopped raping me for the last 6 months of my pregnancy, but it started again shortly after I gave birth, and I became pregnant again just before I turned 18.
I honestly though that as my brothers got older and became adults they’d stop hurting me, but they didn’t, they never had girlfriends, I was the only girl in their lives, it was like I was married to three men who abused me all the time, I was already mother to their children, whoever the father was.
After the birth of my second child I just accepted the fact that this was my life now, this is who I am and who I have to be, their play thing.