Just had to get this off my chest
Uhm- I just had something I really needed to get off my chest but I’m way too scared to tell anyone irl.
Hi. I’m a 13 year old transgender male. Uhm… I’ve been very addicted to porn since the age of like 6 when I discovered my sister watching it. I’m not really a christian nor an atheist or anything else but idk .I know a lot of people will come here to jerk off but this is not the intent for this story. I just need to get something off y chest so I can stop feeling so guilty. As I said, I’ve been addicted to porn from a young age but lately with hormones and shit I’ve been even hornier. I masturbate on the regular. A while ago my mum caught me with porn in my history (I’m dumb and didn’t delete it :/) and I had no access to porn so I’ve been using my 8 year old cousin to help me get off. we haven’t fucked or anything to gat but I’ve jerked him off and shit.. I know it’s wrong but I really can’t stop. I’ve repented multiple times but I cant stop the urges. I hope god can forgive me but I feel like at this point I just deserve to go to hell. I know no one in my family will see this (I hope not at least) but I’m so fucking sorry. I really need help but I’m too scared to tell a therapist or anything. I know a lot of people are going to call me shit in the comments section but I really don’t care. anyways, sorry this is very poorly written, I’m not too good at writing. Hopefully this helps relieve some of the guilt. I know it’s never gonna fully go away but I just don’t want it in my head constantly all hours of the day and night. Id you have any tips on how to stop these addictions and urges please let me know in the comments. Thank you.
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I think there is nothing wrong with watching porn as long as you understand that it is fake
But if you want to talk about anything email mr plz johndollar170@ gmail.com
Secret, a lot of the porn & masterbation thing is hormonal. You get an endorphin rush. Endorphin is a very addictive brain chemical. That’s why some people love running, they’re literally addicted to the high. The more you get, the more you want. That’s why you’re looking for kinkier vids & text to get off to. Stress makes it worse.
Two things you can do to counter the addiction is get more sleep (9 – 10 hours is right for your age). The other is quit drinking pop.
Don’t keep apologing to your cousin. At his age he won’t remember much in five years & you’re repeating yourself because you feel guilty. Stop it, this is still kids playing stuff.
Check around & try to see if there’s a LGBT youth group in your area. Even Zoom would be better than nothing, but FettishForSitters is right, be cautious.
Don’t get in your head too much. Remember a year in your life is like 10% of your life but to a 50 year old it’s 2% of their life. Life will roll you if you take it too seriously.
Focus on school & teachers you like. It’s great you have a friend, try to expand your social group. Life is better together.
Don’t be in too big a rush to come out. The world will still be there.
We really need a like button for comments like these. +1.
Lol, I’ll definitely try to get more sleep. A lot of nights I stay up really late playing roblox lmao. I drink diet pop but I’ll try to stop that too- and yeah, I know he’ll probably forgot in a few years, I just feel like I need to. I’ll make sure to search for one after I’m done with online class. I’ll try to make more friends I guess but I’m very socially awkward and the only friend I really have is the one I already mentioned and I only met her through an ex lmao. Thanks again.
Omg, soooo interesting, bot.
Honestly incest is wrong but it’s not like it’s your sister but everyone has thought of doing something or has done something with someone of there family I did stuff with my sister never sex but we were like 6 so it’s not like we knew any better we did it have a dad to teach us that kinda stuff it just felt good when we licked and touched each other so don’t feel bad and hey I might be trans I’m not sure I like the feeling of being or acting like a girl and what helps me alot is e-sex so maybe try that I know discord have alotta stuff like that not openly cuz tos but I can put my discord if u want me too just dm me if u want (my discord) @idk_#7052
yeah, I agree its wrong but I can obviously see the appeal in it. I also agree, a lot of people think of that but I still feel bad lmao (as I should.) also if it turns out your trans or something I support you 100%and I’m sure many others will! 🙂 I’m not gonna contact you though for safety reasons, thank you for offering though 🙂 Have an awesome day.
Secret, take a deep breath and chill.
Understand that you’re 13 & have buckets of hormones running through you. A cucumber could get you turned on so don’t freak out about being horny all the time.
Are you openly trans so your folks know? If so, then you do need to see a counselor. Not because you’re trans but because you’re developing a bad self image (which is easy to do at your age). Almost every sentence you wrote is putting yourself down. You’re a good person & the first thing you’re going to need to do is to start believing that.
I suggest you do not see a church affiliated counselor. I think they’d compound your feelings of guilt by suggesting sin. What you’re doing is an exaggerated form of normal.
Be very careful messing with your cousin, that can get you in a lot more trouble than porn on your phone.
The biggest problem with porn is that it objectifies people, including yourself. It becomes easy to give into but dangerous because you start wanting more intense porn to not be bored.
Do not let sex or your sexuality define you. You’e a much more complex person & deserve to be loved & accepted. The first person, as RuPaul says, who needs to love you is you.
Gender Disphoric Disorder also needs therapy, for other reasons. The #1 cause of death for transpeople is suicide. So, your libido might make you a threat to others, but your self image may make you a threat to yourself. Your fear, and aversion to sexual assault (Being a sexual abuser, even if you aren’t) can lead you into a feedback loop. A downward spiral, and I’m just not going to cover the stereotypes for transpeople, and sexual abuse. In short, you’re more likely to be a victim, or sexually mutilate yourself, unless you get help. Preferably with specialist in Addiction, and Gender Disphoric Disorder. (Trans is an identity. So’s non-binary, and another whole group of spectra that’re too complicated to cover in the comments. GDD is the Disorder that can lead to a lot of these things, but you can’t make some of these difficult decisions without help, and there’s not really a good book to read on the subject, either.) If not a professional, find a group that isn’t overrun with sexual predators, like this one.
I’m going to have to use an analogy for cismen to understand the internal conflict: Homophobia can drive a serial killer, piquerist, frotteur, or sexually motivated strangler. A possible flipside of that coin (When we’re talking about a dice-bag of complexity here) is that transpeople can internalize Transphobia. Transwomen are invariably misrepresented as perverts that crossdress to get into girl’s rooms, and sexually assault them. (Transmen aren’t even talked about. The world is in denial that they actually exist.) When their self image is already thrown off by going through the wrong puberty. So, instead of becoming sexually motivated predators, they punish themselves. Threaten themselves, and eventually kill themselves after years-to-decades of tormenting themselves. On top of everyone else misrepresenting transpeople, and directly abusing them if they ever find out that you are one. The possibility that you might have an abusive bone in your body can drive you to suicide. That’s why we have to tread lightly here. Transpeople are landmines, and if they lash out, they can only do so self-destructively. You might get hurt, but they might die in the process.
Shit, I just thought of a better analogy: Transphobia is like swatting a bumblebee, because they might sting you. Even if they do, they rip out their insides with the stinger, and die anyway. So, giving them advice, even well meaning advice is a risk/reward thing. You can crush them without even thinking about it, and they don’t need our help to kill themselves. The best case scenario is you feel a little better, and they survive a little longer. Unless you really know them well enough to help. As a stranger, without personal experience with them, personally, you can pretty much only do harm, or get to know them better.
Nope, not openly trans. Well, my mum kinda knows but she thinks it’s a phase and she still refers to me using she/her pronouns. My uncle knows I use he/they pronouns online and chooses to make fun of me for it. The only person who accepts me fully irl is my sister. Other than that no one knows. I’ve had two therapists so far, neither helped whatsoever. One kept trying to diagnose me with ADHD instead of helping me with my issues, the other pretty much just sits on her computer the whole hour lmao. My mother absolutely refuses to get me vaccinated so it’s difficult for me to get an actual good therapist even though I obviously need it. Sometimes I talk to my online bsf and she makes me feel better for a bit lol. I haven’t done anything with my cousin for about a week so far. In that week, I’ve apologised to him multiple times. I haven’t even really watched porn in a week which I’m kind of proud of because I used to watch it every day. I agree, it objectifies people which is disgusting in my opinion but I watch it and a lot of the time I have no clue why I watch it, hence why it’s an addiction. Yeah, stuff I’ve seen on shit like this website has been pretty intense and I was honestly
disgusted with myself when I realised I actually found some of it attractive. Anyways, thank you a lot. I’m glad some of the comment section aren’t just sickos wanting to fuck me or some shit. Have a great day, sir/ma’am or.. whatever you identify as.
Non-binary? I mean, I think a lot of this stuff, like Pronouns is pretty petty, when there’re life threating things, denial of rights, and denial of the Existence of transmen. For instance. (You noticed all the “I always wanted to fuck a tranny”s assumed you’re M2F? Because that’s all they ever think about. That’s what Trans is, to them. They can’t think of anything else.) My preferred pronoun is “you” or “us.” He, she, or them means you’re talking about me, or for me. You means you’re talking To me, and We/us mean you’re Including me. You is from the phrase “Us, or Them.”
Truth be told its hard to deal with addictions like porn and most of the guilt your feeling is probably due to the stress of never talking to anyone about your problems. Just wanna let you know me and plenty of other people wouldn’t hesitate to help but please do be cautious if you let yourself get manipulated theres no telling how much they will use you.
Contact me at [email protected].
definitely, I agree with you 100%. Thanks for the offer, however I’m not gonna contact anyone considering I know this place is full of middle-aged creeps. Not saying you’re one, obviously, I’m just giving you a reason. Not trying to get kidnapped and raped today. I’m definitely more cautious after shit I’ve done. I tried to find love to distract myself multiple times, I still kind of do. I online date people to try and find acceptance (I made sure they weren’t a middle aged sicko before I did so) and it worked until they cheated (most of them are 13-15 idk wtf I expect) or became seriously toxic, or just straight-up left. It’s funny how many people will claim they love somebody then do shit like that, but again, wtf do I expect? Anyways, got a bit off topic, whatever. Thanks so much for trying to help. I appreciate it, dude.
On dating I’m going to offer an observation so take it as just that.
When you’re a teen, especially an early teen, you’re still working to find your identity. Up until puberty you largely accept the standards, morals, & beliefs of your parents & family. When you hit puberty your brain literally starts changing & you start learning how to take your own decisions, choices & values for yourself. This is why teens are viewed as rebellious.
To love somebody you first have to love yourself. (Thanks RuPaul!) If you are still developing then how can you fully love and accept yourself and therefore how can anyone fully love and accept you? Or you them?
Look at middle school & high school as your chance to have training wheel relationships. Don’t plan for them to be deep or long-term. Make it clear you’re just practicing relationship skills and looking to have some social fun.
This is also a great way to find out who your real friends are in school.
People often get very judgmental in middle and high school. If you can develop the skill of being more accepting, of yourself & others, and less judgmental then you will be ahead in developing deep, highly valued relationships in later life.
Just have to clarify that these emotional changes that AP mentions are unpredictable. Something’s going to change, but don’t try to anticipate them, when you’re already… I’m going to say Divergent from the social Norms that AP mentioned. Keep an eye out for them, and if possible, enjoy surprising yourself. Try to stay safe.
Do you have kik or snap I always wanted to fuck a tranny and breed them
Wtf man
… Lmao thanks for the help, dude. that helped a lot.
Fuck a tranny… .? Automatic or manual? This gives a new meaning to ‘grinding the gears’.
I knew guy in high school who got off riding the big long stick shift of his grandfather’s ’47 Ford pickup, the sort with the big billiard ball to grab on to to shift. He loved taking it deep in the ass and riding long strokes. The vibration of the engine would come through the stick and buzz his prostate like mad. He always had to be careful to not accidentally kick it into gear and to make sure and set the emergency brake.
We’d tease him that he didn’t leak precum but transmission fluid instead.
LMAO THATS ACTUALLY HILLARIOUS
Secret, if you want, check back in the comments here and tell us how it’s going. You have some challenges and you’ll have good day and not good day. They are what they are.
If you have a day where you have to toss a load or five don’t go guilt tripping. Your 13 and most every guy here has delt with getting through this. Btw, at 13 my record was 8 in one day but by the last one I was shooting dust. If I’d had a cum rag it would have looked like a locker room.
I know we’re all just electronic figments but at sometime in their life everybody needs to be able to have someone to blow off steam to.
AP, alright, I’ll make sure to do that occasionally but I’m trying not to go onto these kind of websites that often to avoid temptation, I understand its normal to do shit like yk but still, idk. anyways, I’ll check in every now and then.