my best friend found out i had a penis
My best friend Rose discovered a secret I hoped never to reveal.
Her hair smelt like summer fruits as I pressed my nose between the strands of her long curly golden lochs and inhaled her scent, my fingers ran down the silky skin of her back and my heart began to race, it’s never done that before.
“Got it?” she asked, holding the two ends of her bra strap behind her, waiting for me to fasten it up.
I clipped the ends together and caressed her back with my fingertips again, she bunched up the back of her hair and pulled it aside, laying a necklace around her neck, “Help me with this.” She asked, my heart was racing faster, and I could feel the blood pumping around my body, she turned around, “Lily?” she questioned, wondering why I was taking so long, I got scared and then I turned and ran in to her bathroom, slamming closed the door behind me.
I lowered the toilet seat and sat down, my emotions took over and I was confused in a way I’ve never felt before, I began to weep, holding my face in my hands, there was a knock on the bathroom door, “Lily. Are you alright?” it was Rose, obviously concerned about me, but I couldn’t talk to her, not now, “Go away.” I said.
Rose is my best friend, we’ve been the best of friends since my family moved here 3 years ago, we’re really close and almost like sisters, but I have a secret that could ruin it all.
“I’m coming in.” Rose announced, pushing open the door and closing it once she was inside.
I quickly grabbed a towel off the rail and draped it across my knees, “Go away.” I demanded, “Leave me alone.” I said.
“Are you crying? – What’s wrong?” she asked, concernedly.
“Nothing. Just leave me alone. Please.” I replied.
She looked curiously at the towel I was holding on to for dear life, “Did you – did you get your period. Is that why you’re upset?” she asked.
I probably should have said yes, it would be a good reason and she would have left me alone, but I wasn’t thinking straight, “No.” I replied.
Rose got frustrated, we always talked to each other when something was wrong, she didn’t understand, how could she, “Then what is it?” she asked, when I didn’t respond she rushed over, “Lily!” she snapped, then she pulled the towel off of me, I tried to hold on to it but she caught me by surprise.
She gasped in fright and step back, her legs caught the side of the bath and she fell backwards in to it on to her bum, she looked at me with shock and surprise, she saw it, clear as day, sticking out from under my mini skirt.
“What is that – is that a – are you a – is that – you’re a…” she said, frantically with a million questions.
“Boy.” I said, knowing what she was trying to say.
She quickly pulled herself up and stepped out of the bath, walking backwards she bumped in to the door with her back and hands pressed against it, she was horrified, “What?” she asked, in a shaky frightened voice.
I was born a boy, my birth name was Liam, when I was 5 years old I felt like I was in the wrong body, it is too hard to describe what I was feeling, only that I didn’t feel like this was how I was meant to be, my parents didn’t understand at first but they soon realised the way I was feeling wasn’t going to change and so they allowed me to be who I wanted to be, and I wanted to be a girl.
Since then I have dressed like a girl, had the personality of a girl, walked and talked like a girl, and did everything that other girls do, I was finally comfortable with who I was, I wasn’t Liam anymore, I was Lily.
When I was 10 years old life started to get hard for me and my family, other people just didn’t understand and they started tormenting me with hurtful remarks, people were gossiping behind our backs and they wouldn’t accept who I was, so to protect me my family moved away and when we arrived at our new home in a new town, no one knew, my parents didn’t tell anyone, to everyone we met I was just another girl, a new girl in town and they accepted me for who I was.
I met Rose and she always believed I was a girl, I had no reason to tell her otherwise, why would I, I am a girl, this is who I am.
I explained this to Rose and by now she had calmed down a little and she was sitting on the floor with her back to the door, holding her knees all hunched up, still trying to process what I told her, and crying a little, it was at this point I thought it was all going to fall apart, I thought for sure she’d run off and tell her parents, they wouldn’t accept it, I’d have to move again.
Rose slowly reached over and picked up the towel from the floor and wrapped it over herself, perhaps now knowing I was a boy and she was in her underwear, she was shy, even though I’d seen her in her underwear a thousand times before, “Say something.” I said, holding the front of my skirt down, Rose’s silence was killing me inside.
“I don’t understand. Look at you, you are a girl. Your clothes, your face, your hair, your voice. How could I not know? And shouldn’t your voice be – I dunno – deeper?” she asked.
“I just learnt to talk this way. I’ve had a little hormone therapy but I have a bad reaction sometimes so I don’t take it as often as I should.” I replied.
“Why did you want to be a girl?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to be. It’s who I am. I’ve always been a girl.” I replied.
Rose rubbed her forehead and pushed her hair back off her face, “I just – How could I have not noticed. We spend so much time together, we sleep in the same bed, and we get changed in the same room. I’ve seen you in your underwear, how did I not see your – thing.” She said, she was very confused.
“It’s easy to hide when you know how.” I replied.
“Has it – come out before – like that?” she asked.
It has happened before, ever since I stopped having hormone therapy, but I was always alone when it did, “A few times.” I replied, “I’m so sorry, Rose. One moment I was sniffing your hair and I don’t even know why. Then – I – I’m sorry.” I said, and I started to cry because it was all too much.
Rose got to her feet and rushed over, “No, don’t cry, Lily.” She said, wrapping her arms around me and comforting me, “I’m not going to pretend I understand all of this because I don’t. But, you’re my friend and I love you. Don’t cry. We’ll – We’ll figure this out.” She explained.
We held each other for a while until she calmed me down.
“You want to get out of here. Go out somewhere, and talk?” she asked.
“That sounds good. But – I can’t right now.” I replied.
“Why not?” she asked.
“I need to deal with – “ I started to say, then I looked down at my crotch, “ – this first.” I added.
“Deal?” asked Rose, unsure of what I meant, and as her confused brain processed what I just said, she finally clicked on, “Oh! – you want me to leave to it?” she added, looking embarrassed.
“If you don’t mind.” I said.
Rose let go of me and stood up straight, “No. It’s fine. I’ll just wait for you in the bedroom.” She said, then she walked to the door, she placed her hand on the handle and then stopped and turned back around, “Can I ….. No, forget it.” She said, with nervous chuckle.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s just that…….Can I see it?” she replied.
Honestly, I didn’t mind if she did, but I hated my penis, it was disgusting, “I guess. But it looks horrible.” I replied, I stood up and Rose walked back towards me and stopped about a foot away from me, I brushed back my hair and blushed a little, then I lifted the front of my skirt and dropped my panties down to my ankles, my erect penis stuck out with my skirt laid over it.
Rose looked at my penis from every angle, “Where are your balls?” she asked, out of the blue.
Over the years I’d learnt how to pop my testicles back in to my body, it’s a normal thing, every male can do it, “There.” I said, popping them back out and letting them hang.
“Wow.” Rose gasped, she looked into my eyes and shook my head, “This is just a little freaky. I look at you here and I see you, I see a girl, then I look down and you have a penis. It’s freaking out my brain.” She said, with a giggle, and glaring down at my big veiny penis.
If anyone else had said that to me it would probably have hurt my feelings a little, but I knew Rose, and what she said wasn’t meant to be hurtful in any way, “Now you know how I feel having to look at it every day and wishing it wasn’t there.” I replied.
“So – “, she uttered, flicking her eyes up and down between my face and my penis, “ – what are you going to do now?” she asked.
“Well. I could wait until it shrinks, but the hormone therapy has messed up my hormones a lot and it could take quite a while.” I explained, then I looked away briefly in embarrassment, “Or..” I said.
“Or what?” she asked, eagerly waiting for my response.
“Or I can – rub it off.” I replied.
Rose smiled, “Have a wank?” she asked.
She put it more bluntly than I did, without hesitating, “Yeah.” I replied.
“Go on then.” She said.
It was embarrassing as hell but fine, I sat back down on the toilet seat and spread my legs, I lifted my skirt off my penis before taking hold of it and I started to gently rub it up and down, Rose sat on the floor and watched, she was making me nervous, “Do you have to stare?” I asked.
“Sorry.” She laughed, “I’ve just never seen this done before.” She added.
So I rubbed my penis while Rose watched, I was pulling on it for ages, it literally felt like I was rubbing a steal pole it felt that hard, I tried to pull on it faster to speed things up but I’d been doing it for so long my arm was weak, I had to stop and catch my breath.
“Why did you stop?” asked Rose.
“Arms are tired.” I replied.
Rose remained quiet for a moment before moving towards me, she sat right in front of me on the floor, “Can I help?” she asked.
I was shocked that she’d asked, I knew she meant well, but this is a little awkward, “Uhm – if – you want too.” I replied.
She put her elbows up on my knees and gripped my erection and started slowly rubbing it up and down, “Like this?” she asked, looking up at me for confirmation.
I feel a strange sensation rush through me when I felt her hand wrap around my penis and she started to rub it, I nodded, “Yeah.” I replied.
She rubbed it and rubbed it with determination, she got faster and kept changing her hands around, it felt so good, my hips started to sway and my bum slid back and forth along the toilet seat, “Ungh” I groaned, “Should I keep going?” she asked, hearing me groan.
“Yeah.” I replied, “Keep going.” I said.
I threw myself forward, leaning with my arms across her shoulders, and I finally ejaculated, “Ungh – ooh – arrgh – oooh” I groaned with release, when I felt the come stop flowing I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed myself back up, I looked down and Rose was frozen, she had my come all over her face, “Oh my god. Rose, I’m sorry.” I said, feeling really bad.
“Nasty.” She whispered, then she started to chuckle and then she burst in to laughter, “You could have told me that was going to happen. I wold have moved.” She said.
“Sorry.” I replied, biting my lower lip and trying not to laugh with her, it was funny but at the same time it wasn’t, I didn’t know what to think.
Rose looked at my penis as it shrunk back down and fell on to the top of the toilet seat, “At least it’s going away now.” She said, she wiped her face with the toilet and got to her feet, “I’m going to finish getting dressed. Then we should go our because we need to talk.” She said.
“Okay.” I said.
She gave me a hug after I straightened myself up, “Don’t worry, Lily. You’re still my bestie.” She said.
Knowing that she still wanted to be my friend made me so happy inside, she really was my best friend, she’d all I have, “Thank you, Rose. For everything.” I said.