I’m dating my rapist
My friends and family don’t get it and sometimes neither do I in a sense, but we love each other and you can’t help who you love.
How it happened still turns me on thinking about. I was 17 at a party. He was 22. Tall, dark and handsome. We flirted a little and definitely were feeling each other. He was bringing some people home after and I asked to jump in. He had a nice truck. I sat in the front and wanted to be dropped off last because I really wanted him to kiss me. The last person that got dropped off wasn’t even inside yet and he kissed me. It was intense, when he asked if I wanted to go somewhere I was so okay with it.
We get to this open space in the woods and get in the back of the truck to look at the stars. We were making out almost right away. He pulled all the right moves where I let him feel me up. After feeling me up, he went in my pants. He made my pussy feel good, I didn’t want to stop it. He kissed my body and down to my pussy where he worked magic on my pussy. I was on a whole different level of fucked up. I had a massive orgasm and before I had time to get my shit together, he had his dick in my face.
I felt like I owed him so I sucked it. He got very aggressive with me. He was slamming it in my throat and calling me names. I said I needed a break for just a second. He said that was fine and got between my legs. I said we already went too far, but I’ll still finish him off. He still tried fucking me and I had to kick him off. I turned around to get up and he pinned me against the side of the bed of the truck and fucked me. Of course I begged him to stop. He didn’t care, even worse was he rubbed my clit and I was enjoying it. I asked him to stop between my moans. He grabbed my hair and told me to cum on his cock. I came and felt like shit about it. He threw my on my back and held me by my throat. Called me names the whole time. I remember hating myself for liking any of it. He told me he was going to cum on my face. I begged him not to because I was going home. He let go of my throat, grabbed both of my nipples and fucked me saying he’s going to fill my whore pussy. He pushed his weight into me and came.
I tell me best friend about it. I didn’t want to report him. She completely flipped and told my mom. My mom tried getting me to file a report and go to therapy. It was a whole mess. I dated 2 guys over the past 2 years. Both were great. Both had good sex. It just wasn’t what I needed. I found myself masterbating a lot to the thought of me pinned over the side of that truck. About 6 months ago, businesses started opening and we had an after quarantine party. I was half in the bag when I look across the room and see none other that him. He tried avoiding eye contact, but I had to confront him. I wasn’t mad and I was feeling social.
I approach him and he told the guys he was talking to that he would catch them later. He pulled me somewhere more private. I think he assumed I’d cause a scene. He actually apologized to me first, I expressed his I wasn’t mad. It wasn’t all bad. He took that as flirting. We grabbed a drink together and talked. He was really sweet and kind. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about him getting rough with me most of our conversation. He was headed out soon and gave me a hug goodbye. I looked at him funny and said I thought he was giving me a ride home. He looked at me like I was insane. You sure, he asked. I was.
I made the first move on him in the same field he raped me. I kissed him first. I went down on him first. I took off my own shirt. He was surprisingly gentle with me. He ate my pussy and it was spectacular like last time. Then he asked if I wanted to do anything else or give him head. I played it out just wanting to suck his dick. I went in on him, gagged myself and fucked my own throat. I stopped in between to let spit fall on my tits. I let him know how often I fuck myself thinking about how rough he was with me that night. He didn’t know how to respond. He just said I had the tightest pussy. I asked if he wanted it now and laid back. He got between my legs again. I asked again if he wanted it, then pushed him away telling him he can’t have it. I was playful about it. I opened my legs and when he got close I pushed him away again. That’s when he got aggressive again.
He pinned me down and fucked me. Best sex I had since the last time. I came and pretended to get away over the side of the truck. Just like last time he pinned me and fucked me. I came again when he was rubbing my clit calling me names. I wanted to hurt me and use me. I craved that. I stepped it up and asked if that was all he had and called him a pussy rapist. It’s like he turned into exactly what I needed by that comment. He grabbed me by my hair and pushed my face against the bed of the truck. He was asking what the fuck I just said as he put my hands behind my back. I said it again. He spit on his dick and said how I was a stupid whore who needs to be taught a lesson. I felt him in my ass. Wasn’t too hard at first, but he didn’t wait long before going full force. I was screaming, he encouraged my screaming and came in my ass. When he dropped me off, we made out for almost a half hour.
A few days later he asked me to be his girlfriend. He is the most sweetest man to me. The sex is unbelievable. I really cant complain. Everyone hates that I’m with him and it’s hard. They can’t understand how I feel.