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Aunts in my Pants (Prelude)

3034 Words | 0 |3.00

My father said his little sister was “A little eccentric.” Then, she came to Thanksgiving early, and she brought a friend. #NoSex

“We’re married!” She showed off her ring to mom, excitedly. Before her wife came in carrying their bags. With short hair, a seater vest, corduroy pants, and boy shoes.

I didn’t know what else to call them, they looked like boy’s shoes. Flats, black patent leather, they looked like something my brother would wear to church. Then, dad took the bags, and said “Let me help you with that,” but he looked surprised.

My brother whispered, “She’s a lesbo,” and I realized that I was just standing there. Looking at aunt Kay, and having an epiphany.

“Of course,” I’d heard of lesbians before, but. “What other kind of lady would aunt Mel marry?”

“They’re both carpet munchers.”

I shook my head, and aunt Kay. My new aunt Kay looked over when she heard him. “That’s not nice.” She didn’t look upset, just a little sad, and I thought she’d get angry, but she didn’t. My brother ran off, but then aunt Kay walked up, and held out her hand.

“You must be Merry.” It felt soft, and warm, and I held onto it a little longer than she shook it.

“Meredith.” Merry sounded so childish, all of a sudden. I never minded it before, but then aunt Melany hugged me, and picked me up.

“Oh wow, you’ve grown. Let me get a look at you.” She put me down, and turned around. Blushing so pretty, and her eyes all over me made my face heat up, but not Kay. “I haven’t seen you since you’re barely out of diapers. Come on.” She took my bye the hand, and led me off. “We’re going to go talk girl stuff.”

She told my mom that’s what we’re going to do. Just talk girl stuff, up in my room. I had a spare bed, underneath mine we could roll out when I had friends over. To sleep over, and they didn’t have any children. Of course, not yet. They talked about adopting, but I showed them.

“This is where you’ll be sleeping, I guess.”

“Well, I hope we’re not intruding.” Aunt Mel turned to her wife, or husband? I don’t even know what to call her, but she was quiet. “Maybe we should go get a hotel room.” Aunt Melanie did all the talking.

“Oh, no.” I didn’t want them to leave, “I’m sure it’s big enough for the both of you, why don’t you stay?” It wasn’t until I met one, a real live Lesbian that I ever even really thought about the possibility. For one thing, my friends didn’t talk about them, or bisexuals at all.

So, most of what I heard was from my brother, and his friends. Now, what do teenage boys know about homosexual women? Nothing, nothing they didn’t learn from looking at pornos, and talking loud enough to hear them through the bedroom door. They closed the door, but that’s how I knew they were looking up lesbian porn on the internet. They practically shouted about it, but nothing gay. Oh no, they sure didn’t want to look at naked men, because that would be gay.

So then, they got settled in, and sat down on the trundle bed. We didn’t get any sleep, they kept me up all night talking, and even Aunt Kay told me a little about herself.

“Oh, I drive a bus. I know, it’s not that interesting, but it pays the bills.” That was it, she shrugged, but at some point she took off her sweater vest. Unbuttoned her cuffs, and her collar, but not low enough to see what kind of bra a Lesbian wears.

Mel told her about how her brother was like 8 years older. So when she first moved out, she used to crash on their couch, and babysit me until she found a place she could afford. Aunt Kay just nodded, she’s a good listener, but didn’t ask questions. You had to ask her something for her to clear her throat, and answer you. Politely, but I guess that’s a good personality for a bus driver.

“What kinda bus?” I asked her, interested.

She shrugged, a lot, and said “Just a plain old city bus.”

“Oh it must be a good job for you, because you don’t have to talk to anyone, except to ask them if they want a transfer.” I guess.

She looked at Mel, “You never told me how empathic she is, like you.” They held hands, and Kay patted the back of Mel’s with her other hand. It was very sweet.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Go on.” I nodded.

She took a deep breath. “Well, there’s not much to tell. I guess I always felt alone, even surrounded by other people.”

“Different,” Aunt Mel explained, “While I acted out, because I wanted to tell everyone, but I didn’t know the words, because I was sheltered.” Then, she went on and on about getting in trouble. Sneaking out, and just going for walks all night. Sometimes, I can’t sleep, but I never thought about just leaving. Walking around all night, and it sounded like the start of most of her adventures.

So, I just listened, like aunt Kay. No reason for both of us to try and do all the talking, but I realized that I was more like Melanie, and maybe some day, I would meet a girl like Kay. That got me thinking about this girl, at school.

Beth, I don’t really know her, nobody does. She’s quiet, and she mostly keeps to herself. She writes a lot, all I can really remember about her is sitting off to the side. Her mechanical pencil in hand, and a spiral notebook across her lap. Sometimes, she looked up, and tapped the eraser on the side of her face.

Thoughtfully, her lips puckered up, and then she smiled. Looked down, and started writing furiously. Even nodding to herself like this is good.

“Hm,” then I woke up in the morning, and blinked at the daylight coming in the window. I couldn’t remember much but my aunts were on the floor. Curled up in the covers together, asleep.

So, I guess we didn’t stay up all night, but it was Sunday morning. So, I had to climb over the end of the bed, to keep from waking them, and take my Sunday clothes with me to take a shower. Get ready for church, but when I came back, Kay was sitting up. Aunt Mel was curled up with my pillow, on my bed, but Kay yawned, and stretched. Smacking her lips, and rubbing her eyes, while I just stood there.

Looking at her, my dad said that Aunt Mel was odd, weird, or a little eccentric, but not to me. She was just misunderstood, but Kay. She didn’t say anything, she just looked up. With her hairy armpits, and her bra straps showing through the ribs on her night shirt. Boxer shorts, but I had a towel on my head.

“Oh, you might want to grab a shower quick before anyone else wakes up. So, there’s some hot water left for you.”

She nodded, “Thanks,” and left, but I looked over at Aunt Mel. I felt a little guilty, because I didn’t mean to flirt with her husband, or wife. Kay definitely wore the pants in the family, but I can’t help it. I’m a flirt, even with her hair wrecked, so the bangs didn’t hand over the right side. The way she parted them, they stuck up from sleeping on the wrong side.

Curled up with aunt Mel, with her arms around her, under the covers, with her bra on all night. I woke up with my clothes on, except my shoes. Of course, I didn’t wear those to bed, but I left everything else in the bathroom from changing after I got out of the shower.

“Huh!” I sat down, and picked up my school shoes. They doubled as church shoes, and the toes were shiny once I buffed them a little on my blouse. I looked at myself in the mirror, and pulled the towel off my hair. It was dry enough to brush out, but that got me thinking about what it might feel like, if it was short.

Maybe not Kay short, all the way around the back, with just a little up top to hang over her eyebrows, and the top of 1 ear on the side. She had 3 ear-rings in her left ear, which looked like a lot, but only one stud on the right. I wonder if that means anything? Or maybe she’d get her hair caught in them, if she had a bunch of ear-rings in her right ear too.

I just let my mind wander, it does that. I get daydreams, and have trouble paying attention in class. ADD ruins in my family, but I’m not hyperactive, or anything. They really are a perfect couple, because Kay’s so quiet, she lets Mel do all the talking, but then I heard my name.

“Merry,” Kevin knocked on the door. “Let me in, I have to pee.” Quietly, so as not to wake anybody up.

“Uh, that’s aunt Kay in there.” He jumped and turned around, when I came up behind him. “Besides, you can always go out in the yard, behind a bush. Let her alone, she had a long night.”

“Carpet munching with aunt Mel, I bet.”

“No, we just talked.” But he ran off, grabbed a jacket, and went out in the back yard. Then, he came back shivering.

“Well, what did you 3 talk about?”

“You know, girl stuff? And what’s with you, your sick fascination with lesbians.”

“2 hot girls is twice as hot as one.”

“Yeah, but you’re always talking about gay homos with your friends like that’s a bad thing. As if lesbians aren’t gay, or homosexual.”

“Well, that’s different.” He threw his jacket on the bed, and started pulling clothes out. “Gay guys do it up the butt, that’s a sin. Sodomy, it says that’s abomination in the bible, and they’ll be put to death.”

“I know, but.” I thought, and shook my head. “What does it say about lesbians, in the bible?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.” He took off his pajamas, but left his underwear on, and he didn’t even change it.

“So, it’s okay for 2 women to be in love, but not 2 boys?”

“I don’t know about love.” He shrugged, just like Aunt Kay, “But they can’t have sex, without going to hell. Lesbians don’t really have sex.”

“Well, oral sex is sex, or they wouldn’t call it oral sex.”

“Yeah, but there’s something missing.” He zipped up his fly, and tucked in his undershirt. “So, they have to make do with toys, like vibrators, dildos, and strapons. I bet that Kay wears the strapon.”

“No.” She stopped in the hallway, and pushed open the door. “Not that it’s any of your business, but we don’t need anything like that.” She crossed her fingers, and held them through the door. With her other 2 held back by her thumb, then she slipped it back, and closed the door to the hall.

“What was that?” I shook my head, and turned back to Kevin, but he just stood there. Mouth hanging open, so I had to wave, and snap my fingers. “Hel LO oh! Earth to Kevin. What was that, some sort of secret homo handshake or something?”

“I don’t know.” He pulled his shirt on, and started buttoning up the cuffs. “Maybe you should ask her, later.”


Meredith (Mom Talk)

I could barely keep my eyes open in Sunday school, but then I nodded off in church. Mom picked me up as soon as they let us out, and carried me off to the car.

“You mind if we have a little talk?” she put my down, and got her keys out of her purse, to let us in.

“About what?” I rubbed my eyes, and stretched.

“You better get in first.” she opened up the front door, so I opened up mine, and got in back. Lay down across the back seat, with my hands together under my cheek. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions about your aunt Mel, and her girlfriend.”

“They’re married.” I nodded, “Does that mean Kay is her husband?”

“You’d have to ask them.” She pulled the sun shade down, and checked her hair in the mirror. Then, she tilted it down, so I could see her eyes looking back at me. I yawned.

“Huh, well we stayed up all night, just talking, but I didn’t think to ask that.”

“Well, let me know if she turns out to be a little transgender.”

I blinked, and sat up. “You think Aunt Kay might be a boy trapped in a girl’s body?”

“I don’t know, but I didn’t get a chance to spend as much time with them as you did.”

“Well, she doesn’t talk much, but what little she said was, um.” I had to think, “She drives a bus, for the city. She got her CDL, that’s a truck driving license, but instead of getting a job driving for a truck company, she got hired by the city.”

“Well, sometimes people like that want to be left alone. So, they find jobs where they don’t have to interact with too many people, and most people like you and me. We’d go crazy just sitting there, driving mile after mile.”

I lay back down, and closed my eyes. “When you say people like that, you mean homosexuals?”

“Huh, yeah.” She sighed, “I’ll let you in on a little secret, but I went to college.”

“I know,” Meredith College, back east.

“Well, what I never told you, well. I never told anyone that I had a room mate, as a freshman, and she was bisexual. I was feeling a little bi-curious, so…”

She told me about her first girl/girl experience, but I missed most of it. Because I fell back asleep, but what little I remember, “One thing led to another, and it just sort of happened…”

The point is, she would understand. Whatever I chose, however I want to live my life, she’ll still love me, and understand. I still wasn’t sure whether she was sympathizing, or empathizing with me, nor even what was the difference, but that made me feel better about all this.

It was a lot to take in, all at once, but then dad came out with Kevin, and I had to sit up. Wake up, so Kevin could get in the other side, and put my head down in the corner. Trying to remember what I was dreaming, so I could go back to it, but the one thing I could remember was Aunt Kay.

Sitting on the floor, sitting up on the trundle bed in her underwear, and a bra. Yawning, stretching, and rubbing her eyes, so I could see her hairy underarms, and smell her sweat. It didn’t smell bad, like boy’s sweaty socks. I don’t know what it smelled like, it was new, and I liked it, but then Kevin shook me.

“Check it out,” he had his phone out, and he showed me a picture of 2 women, naked in bed together. I took it, and turned it sideways. So, it turned sideways, and I could see the Related Videos down the side. I turned it back up, because whoever took it was holding it up. That left 2 tall bars on either side, unless you turned it sideways. To read Lesbians Lick, and Finger Hairy Muffs.

“Huh!” I looked down in the corner, where it said Girls out West. Like Girls Gone Wild, I guessed, but Kevin leaned over. “See?” He pointed at the girl, screwing her fingers in, and out of the other girl’s hairy muff. Holding her other 2 fingers back with her thumb, but you couldn’t quite tell if she had them crossed.

Like aunt Kay did, when she stuck her hand in his room, through the door. Holding the door knob, so we couldn’t see if she was wearing a towel, or she just put the exact same clothes back on in there.

“Oh, now that makes sense.” He took his phone back, and turned it off. Put it in his pocket, but now I was wide awake.

“What?” Dad didn’t look back, but he was turning, so he had to keep his eyes on the road.

“Oh, nothing.” I lied, “Just something aunt Mel was saying last night.”

Mom patted his hand on the steering wheel. “They kept her up all night, talking.” She looked back, “Just talking.”

“Right, I never met a real live gay girl before, let alone two.”

“Well, she always was a bit of a Tomboy growing up.”

“Yeah, uh huh. That’s what she was talking about. Why she acted out as a little girl, because she didn’t get to be herself.”

So, that was it. We dropped it until we got home, but that gave me a lot to think about. The main thing being what mom said about understanding. Whatever I chose, she’ll still love me, and understand, but now I thought that maybe dad would too? Since he had his gay sister he grew up with, that made it easier for him to accept me, if I decide to be gay, too.

“Huh!” He shook his head, and pulled his keys out. “Now, I feel so stupid, how could I miss that?”

“Well, it was a different time, and people didn’t talk about it, but not in front of the kids.”

We got out, and closed the door. So they could talk in the car, and I was still sleepy. So, I said “I think I need a nap.” The aunts were in the kitchen, with their clothes on, eating breakfast. Drinking coffee, and talking until I came in with my brother.

Well, aunt Mel was doing all the talking, as per usual, but I said. “Oh good you’re up. So I can go take a nap.” I went upstairs, and took off all my Sunday clothes. To get in bed, curl up, and fall asleep…


^ I can go on…

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