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We have a Weiner

4939 Words | 3 |3.00

My friend asked me “What did you bring for show and tell?” On the bus, after school. #Crossdressing #Toys #Porn

“Nothing? My teacher didn’t give us that assignment.” But, she already had her backpack off, and unzipped it to show me.

“It’s a wiener!” She giggled, but she had to pull straps out of the way to show me the molded plastic head.

“Oh my god, you didn’t show that in class?”

She giggled, “No. Just you, but.” She lowered her voice, even though I just shouted, the other kids were talking too loud, and weren’t really listening to us, but she whispered too low to hear.

“What?” I leaned over closer, so she could tell me. ‘i’m not supposed to bring it to school.’

“Of course not, but where did you get it in the first place?”

“Oh yeah.” She fished her phone out of the pencil pocket, and turned it on. It’s okay to bring them to school, just as long as they’re turned off, so we don’t get calls, or text in class. “There’s a movie too. It’s my mom’s.” Finally, the background came up, so she could do this little swipe to unlock it, and open up her video app.

Then, she came out, with her hair up and her bangs slicked back, but a little curl hanging down between her eyebrows, a leather jacket, and tight jeans, but no strapon, yet. Then, the camera moved, and went over to the side, while she stomped around, with her shoulders stuck out, swinging them back and forth, and a big mustache on, too.

Which was weird, because she was dressed up like a biker? I guess, but she had on a fake black cop mustache, and it was black, so it didn’t even match her hair, or eyebrows.

“Who’s that?” I just saw a swish of skirt, in front of the camera, and then the back of a dress. A white one, with a really short skirt, and thick hairy legs sticking out the bottom, and stockings clipped to a garter belt.

She giggled, “My dad. He plays dressup, too.” A platinum blonde wig, with his hairline showing under the back, because it was done up, but he held down the front, and walked over a fan, so it blew up over his silver satin panties.

“Marilyn Monroe, and. I think, she’s doing Marlon Brando?” Only with a mustache, maybe more like a 70s porn mustache, really. Oh yeah, and I forgot the strapon, until the turned around, holding it up, while her husband turned around. Holding the front of the dress down, but shaking his tush over the fan, so it blew up, and making this “Ooh!” face in the camera, but I could see down the low neckline, he had a bra on, with something stuffed inside it. It had to be, because I’d been over to her house, and met her parents. He didn’t have real boobs, of course, maybe it was a padded bra, or a water bra.

“There’s no sound?”

“Oh, it’s muted.” She tapped the corner, and surf music came on. “HOO YEAH!” Really loud, “I’M A WILD ONE.”

“Oh, let me take it off speaker.” It cut off to a tinny buzz, in the earpiece.

“She’s not going to do, what I think she’s going to do, with that.”

“Hihihihn!” She just giggled, nodding. She already had it on, and the straps tightened around her hips, while he pulled down the shiny underwear to the tops of the stocking, so they got stuck on the ends of the straps, and he looked up, blew a kiss for the camera.

Made up like Marilyn Monroe, but even the blush couldn’t hide his cheekbones. The square corner of his jaw, and the little cleft in his chin, like a butt.

“She kissed his butt!” She laughed even louder, while her mom unzipped the leather jacket, so you could see her boobs stuffed in there, and I got scared.

“Sh! Stop it, and put it away.” I looked around, but nobody was paying any attention, and they were all still yelling to be heard over each other, but I was ashamed that I even let it go on that long. “I don’t want to see that.”

“Well, you can’t really see anything.” I bet, with his face right in front of the camera, but I can only imagine the looks he’d get on his face when she.

“This is my stop, anyway.” I started grabbing my things, but she touched my arm.

“You want to come over, and play? My mom, and dad had this conference out of town, so they’ll be gone all week, so it’s pretty lonely in the house, bye myself, and it sure would be nice to have a friend there, to play with.”

“Uh.” How long did she spend on that little speech, and practice it, so it came out like that. “With your mom’s.” Sex, “Toys?”

It wouldn’t be the first time, we went over to spend the night with another girl, and she got into her mom’s collection, to show us her vibrators, and pass them around, to feel them buzzing through our underwear.

“My dad has these great toy boobs, you can wear in your training bra, too.” She nodded, “If you want to be the girl.”

“I am a girl, but you mean.” I looked down at her backpack, zipped up again, but I could almost make out the shape, lying in the bottom of her books, right behind the pencil pocket, like a telltale heart. Then again, it is her mom’s.

“I can be the boy.” She nodded, then the doors shut, and the bus took off, with me in it. My little brother walking along the sidewalk, talking to his friends from around the neighborhood, and not even looking up at the bus going bye. He didn’t even miss me, nor wonder why I didn’t get off with them.

I swallowed, and nodded, but we’re talking 6 grade. 11 year olds, and even if there wasn’t even any brief nudity, I’m pretty sure that little video she showed me would have been a lot more then PG-13, for Strong Sexual Content.

All though, there was that flash of panties, when the dress blew up by the fan, and his leg hairs flattened by the stockings, the bra over his hairy chest, and the bulges inside.

So, we just sat there, quietly, while my thoughts ran wild, and my brain filled in the blanks. All the R rated stuff it didn’t see, like the front of the panties, or underneath the skirt when he dropped them, and his balls hung out, with the fan blowing up the skirt, and his butt. My thoughts turned X rated, then double, and triple X.

She kissed his butt, she said. With a giggle. We even snuck looks at porn, hardcore porn to laugh at all the funny faces they make, and stuff, but nothing like this, and you think you know someone for years, but every time I went over there for dinner, or even to sleep over, I had no idea that they could be so kinky.

Crossdressing, and. Well, there’s no other word for it, buttfucking her husband with a strapon dildo while he bent over in a dress, and held onto the camera to film every minute of it all over his face.

“Huh!” My face is hot, and my neck, and. Lower, a lot lower, it’s not hot, but it’s definitely warming up, so I crossed my legs.

“Here we are.” The bus screeched to a stop, and. I’m a virgin. I’m 11, the only chance I even got to lose my virginity so far was a dirty old child molester that wanted me to get in his car, to grope me, strip me, rape me in the back seat, strangle me, and leave me dead in some ditch so I wouldn’t tell anybody.

I think, at least that’s what I always thought would happen if I’d actually gotten in the car. then my thoughts went wild, and I imagined he had a doll collection, with all the girls stood up, in glass cases, with pretty dresses, and wigs, and makeup to look like Shirley Temple.

I shook my head, that’s my mom, not dad, or her dad. With the doll collection, well. She got them from her mom, and even sat down with me to show me the papers that came with them. They’re from a set, antiques, and may be even valuable some day when they’re handed down to me, and my daughters can look at them in the case, but not play with them, because they’re far too fragile, and valuable. They might chip the ball joints, since they’re porcelain, and the fabric of their dresses is dry, and yellowed with age.

“Here we go.” She let us in, and I dropped my books right in the door, but she carried her backpack down the hall to her parent’s room. Then, she got a key out of her mom’s jewelry box. “They’re in the playroom.” I got out of her way, so she could go back up the hall, and unlock the bedroom door.

I’d never been in there, and her mom called it “The spare room,” since she’s an only child, and it’s a 3 bedroom, they could keep it in case they had friends over, or guests. “Huh!” I relaxed a little, expecting a dungeon, or something. Knowing now that we’re not supposed to be in here, but it was just a girl’s room.

With a girl’s bed, with 4 posts, and a canopy hanging over it, with lacy edges, like a table cloth. “I’m gonna go put some pants on, be right back.”

She left me there, still wearing her backpack, so she could put something else on, over her pants, or under it? Maybe it was bouncy enough to bend up, so she could zip them up with it bulging in front, and sticking out the top so it lay against her tummy, and belly button, but it swung back and forth when her mom walked over to her dad, bent over, and dropping his panties to get.

She kissed his butt. I looked around, and then I saw what was missing. Not only the camera, but also the dresser I imagined. He must have set it down on, right over there, up against the wall. But no, just a bare wall, at the foot of the bed, and the headboard was. Wait, on the wrong side. I saw the door, and the window over there, so they must’ve turned it around, and got rid of the dresser I never got to see in the first place.

So, I checked the closet, and there. Underneath the “Some Like It Hot” dress. Hanging up in a dry cleaner bag, with the leather jacket across from it, and other stuff I didn’t really look at. It would be a walk-in closet, if it didn’t have a dresser jammed in there, taking up half the floor, but there was enough room to pull out the drawers, and go through their underwear.

“Hhihmn.” I bit my lip, knowing that I shouldn’t be going through their underwear, in their closet, and is he gay? Her dad, I mean, is it gay or not if you bend over for your wife, dressed up like a biker. “Hm.” A 1950s biker, with a mustache, and there is another jewelry box here. With a mirror in the lid, and lights around it, like a tiny vanity mirror, but it’s full of bottles, with eye droppers, and squeeze spouts like tiny sports bottles.

I found the mustache, and picking it up. Felt the tacky strip on the back. Held it up, and bent over to tilt the mirror up, holding it under my nose, before I realized how that must look. In my school dress, with the front of it hanging lose over the flat training bra. “Oh yeah.”

I found another drawer, with bras in it. Not her mom’s bras, but these were size 44 B. So, the box in the back had to be. Sure enough.

“Up phahuh!” They jiggled!

“What?” She came behind me, and I covered my butt before I even turned around, but she just threw it on the bed.

“They jiggle?” I shook the box at her.

“Yeah, and check out the nipples.” She poked one, so it bulged, pinched it, and picked it up. Hanging by the nipple. “Why don’t you try them on. You always wanted big boobs, right?”

“Well, they’re not big.” I crossed my arms, when she took the box, and dropped it back in. “B cups?”

It occurred to me that ment taking my clothes off. At least down to my underwear, with the elephant trunk in the room. Sitting there on the bed, like a sleeping python, and I felt my pouting lips peel themselves apart, in my underwear. All by themselves, hungry to eat something like a penis, and that sure was something!

“Uh, how big is that thing?”

“The wiener?” She dropped the boob box on the bed, and picked it up. “10 inches.”

“Huh!” Of course, it would be, supersized. “I don’t know if it’ll fit.”

“Well,” she leaned back, against the footboard to bend over, and step into the belt. “You don’t have to take all 10 inches.”

“I mean the girth, it’s like.” I held my fingers, and thumbs together, and try to imagine holding that, with my hand all the way around it, and pump them up, and down. “Huh!”

“Uh?” I pushed her shoulder, so it wasn’t in the way, and I could reach down to hold it up.

“It’s rubbery. It doesn’t feel right.”

“How would you know, you ever touched a real one before?”

“No? But I know what real skin feels like, and.” She looked up, blinking, and waiting for me to finish what I was saying. “What, was I saying?” She looked so cute, and that’s what threw me off, because she’s dressed up so butch, and it’s just like her dad, only the opposite.

“What?” She shook her head. “Something about what real skin feels like.”

“Huh!” I felt her neck, with her hair up off of it, she must have taken so long changing to pin it up, and pull a curl down over her forehead, like that guy on Laverne, and Shirley. It felt so hot, and alive, and, well. Real?

“Hmhn!” She shook her head, and giggled against my lips.

“I’m the boy, remember? The boy’s supposed to kiss the girl.”

“Oh, sorry. Uh, maybe we should start over.”

“Well,” she picked up the box, “Put these on, so you look the part.”

“I am a girl!” I shook my head, confused, and freaking out. grabbing the mustache, I turned back around. “Why don’t you put this on, so you look the part?”

“Okay!” She giggled, and hopped past me, which made the dong bounce, and wiggle, but she grabbed a chair from the side, and unfolded it, to sit down on. “This might take a little while.” She looked back, over her shoulder in the mirror. So, I stopped hugging my sleeves, and felt up to my collar.

Started unbuttoning it, and feeling silly, because. Well, she’s seen me naked before, and played dress up. The only difference is, she never dressed up as “The boy” before, and I’m just as nervous as I would be, undressing for a real boy, because we just as much agreed what we’re going to do, just as soon as we look the part.

She’s going to take my virginity. Even if that ginormous thing won’t fit, we’re going to find something I can take, because honestly, my body can’t wait, even though my mind is trying to think of all the ways this is wrong.

Like how gay is it, really? Am I a lesbian? Is she? It’s just like her father, bending over to take it up the butt, is that gay because he needs his wife to dress up as a biker, to.

She kissed his butt. Okay, that’s the gross part, how can anybody, actually do that, knowing what comes out of there, and that must be it. Also, knowing where that thing has been, even if I didn’t get a chance to see it, and even if they washed it afterwards. No, she didn’t even ask me to kiss my butt, and what’s that got to feel like with the fake mustache tickling my buns?

I ran out of buttons. Knowing that I only had to undo 2 or 3 to pull the dress off, over my head, but unbuttoned all the way down to my waist, I could slip my arms out of the sleeves, and…

Busy myself with stuffing the jiggly flat inserts over my nipples, but they did have a little space in the back. So, they stuck to me, and I went to find a mirror, in the bathroom.

“Huh! Hahehihn!” I spent a few minutes, pushing them up together, and shaking them so they fell down. Then, squishing them flat, so when I let go, they sucked my nipples, and stuck to me, but then I sniffed.

I smelled the glue, before she looked in. “How do they feel?”

“Weird, kinda sticky, and rubbery. Of course, because they’re rubber, what else would the feel like?”

“No,” she turned my shoulder, and pulled my hands out of the way. “Well, they’re silicone, but I guess that’s supposed to be rubber, but how do they Feel?”

“Huh!” I just let my head fall back. “Huh!” Closed my eyes, and tried to imagine a boy, a real boy’s hands, but then she giggled, and ruined it.

“Huh!” I pushed her back out, of the bathroom, and pulled up the side of my dress. “That looks silly.”

“I know,” she felt the big black woolybear under her tiny button nose. “Phf!” Blew it out. “It hangs down, and gets in my lips. Mhn?”

I kissed her again, and she shook her head. “I’m sorry, but if you’re going to be the boy, then why don’t you kiss me, for once?”

“It’s okay.” She took a deep breath, and held my shoulders. Then, she looked over at the bloused sleeve on one shoulder, and flattened it. Gave it a little pat, so while I waited, I put my arm in the other one, and pulled it up.

“Huh,” she shook her head. “Well, the spirit gum isn’t dry yet, so do I really have to wear this?”

“No,” I pulled the corner, and peeled it off carefully, because she winced. “That hurt?”

“No, I told you, the spirit gum isn’t dry yet.” I felt it, between her lips, and her little button nose, but I decided I liked it. Her little button nose, with the round end, and the nostrils on either side, so it looks like an up-side down club from the ace of clubs only pink, instead of black. I pushed it like a button, just to see her smile, and hear her little giggle again.

“They have something to take that glue off? Because it’s sticky, and smells like chemicals.” And I don’t even want to think about it getting stuck between my legs, and drying up, when she’s down there.

Which is how I started thinking about her playing lesbian. Or maybe not playing lesbian, but having real lesbian sex with me, instead of this sham of playing a boy. “I guess you’re right.” She looked back, over her shoulder, then went back in the playroom. “There’s no good reason why the boy has to kiss the girl, but. Huh!” She plopped down on the folding chair, and looked away from me, in the mirror. “I don’t really know how, to kiss like a boy.”

“Me neither.”

“Huh,” she chuckled, “You did just fine.” She pulled out the squeeze bottle, with the miniature sports bottle top, and squirted out some chemical on a cotton ball, to wipe off her lip.

“Uh,” thanks? “I don’t know if, we even need a boy, or. If you liked playing the boy.” She shrugged.

Shook her head, “I’m not very good at it.”

“Then maybe you can play lesbian instead.” I just blurted that out, and braced myself for her reaction, but I looked away from the mirror, scared of what she’d say.


“Huh!” I was holding my breath.

“Are you?”

“A lesbian? Are you?”

“I don’mwh.” She wiped her mouth off on a cloth.

“Huh!” That thing inside me, that I never even suspected existed before took over, and I just couldn’t stand my underwear. Clinging to my crotch, and holding the moisture in. So, I dropped them, and fell back on the bed. Over the footboard, just so relieved to admit it to myself. “Yeah, I think I might be, a lesbian.”

“Yeah, a butch.”

“Really? You think I’m butch?” I sat up on my elbows to look at her, but she got up.

“Not really before you kissed me, but ever since then. I never really thought about it before, but you don’t cut your hair, or dress butch, or even act like a tomboy, really.”

“Thanks, I think? I mean, I don’t act. Like, I don’t try to act like anybody besides myself. I guess I had no idea how to act, because like you said, I never really thought about it?” Then, I looked up, and she looked up. A little embarrassed, and my face heated up again, when I realized that she was looking down at my panties. Down around my ankles. So, I put my knees up, and spread my legs, so my dress stretched out across my lap, and watched her face.

Her eyes, and then her smile widen into a great big beautiful grin, then she licked her lips. And then, she came around the side of the bed, and climbed on between my legs, to lick mine.

“Huh!” Finally, I knew what was the matter, the whole time. I thought the cross-dressing might be fun, especially after I saw her mom, and dad cross dressing.

“Uh!” She stopped, and pulled my skirt down. “You mind if I take this thing off?”

“No,” I pushed my skirt down, to wipe my crotch.

“Huh!” She stood up, and I looked away. Just seeing it flopping around unnaturally while she unbuckled the belt, and loosened the straps around her pantlegs. “It’s impossible to play with myself in this thing, uh!” She practically threw it down.

“Why does your mom like it, you think?”

“I don’t know, she’s a drag-king.” She unbuttoned her pants, and ripped the zipper open, to grab the crotch of her panties. “Huh!” She took a deep breath, and sighed with relief, rubbing it in. So, I started rubbing the damp fabric in some more, watching her. She blinked, shook her head, and went on. “Oh, that’s like a drag queen, but a woman.”

“Yeah, I got it, so your dad, is he a drag queen?”

“Oh, no. He’s just a transvestite.” She shrugged, and pulled down her panties along with her pants. Just like that, and I’m shocked at how many times, we’d skinny dipped together, showered together at the pool, changed into our swimsuits together, and of course played dressup together.

“Huh! That’s better.” She pulled off her teeshirt, and dove face first between my legs again. “Halalulooloolool!”

“Huhn, yeah.” I patted her head, and felt the hair pins. Holding it up on the sides, I picked at them, and pulled them out, to let her hair down where I could run my fingers through it.

Then, I let my mind wander, the way it always did, when I thought about boys. Playing with myself, and thinking about boys. Why? I guess I thought that I was supposed to, all my friends talked about them, among other things. It wasn’t all boys boys boys, and nothing else.

“Uh!” She licked down, a little lower. “Oh! You, like that?”

She stuck her thumbs behind my knees, and picked them up. “I don’t know, do you?”

“I don’t know, either.”

“Well, hold these up, so I don’t have to.”

“Huh!” She went back down, and kissed my fur burger first. Pinching my pubic hairs in her lips, and pulling them out, to snap back, and curl back up, then she stuck her tongue out, and licked it up.

“Uh, huh!” Wiggling it back and forth, to split me open, and dig around to find the sweet spot. “Huh, yeah!” Right there, but you know how, you have to tell a boy. Well, I guess, maybe all that faster, harder deeper might be for the reader, but I don’t know.

I didn’t have to tell her anything. Just breathe, and let her do her thing. I guess having a clitoris of her own, she didn’t have any trouble finding it, and she knew just how much pressure to use, so i didn’t have to tell her harder, but she didn’t mash it flat, so it almost hurt, and she didn’t overdo it, either.

She kept going down, lower to my lips, and wiggled her tongue to slick them open. Then down further to my wet hole, and wiggled it in to loosen it, taste my lustful juices, and I licked my lips. “Huh, you want to play the top?”

“Huh?” She wiped her mouth again, looking up over my chest, and the clammy artificial bumps stuck to it. “Was I? I’m sorry, you’re the butch, so you probably want to top, too.”

“Huh!” I let my legs go, and rolled over. “Well, it has nothing to do with being butch,” but I have to admit that I like the way it feels when she calls me that. “I just want to taste you too, so lay down.” I got up to pull my dress off, over my head this time, and kick my other foot the rest of the way out of my underpants.

“Keep the bra on.” She spread her legs. “I like you with tits.”

“Huh!” I felt them, but they felt fake, of course. I guess they’ll have to do, until I grow more real ones, but if that’s what she likes, I’ll keep them on for her.

“Huh, you know Flow?”

“Uh, you’re not, on your period.” I didn’t see her pantie liner, with her pants pulled open, because she bent over to pull them down, so I looked at the floor.

“No, Florence. The high school girl?”

“Oh yeah, on the soccer team. Sorry.”

“Huh, well she’s a lesbian, too.”

“Huh!” I should have noticed. “Pretty butch.” Now that I thought about it, then I shook my head. “I think, I might be bisexual?”

“That’s okay.”

“I still think about boys, I mean. Not right now, of course, but. Huh, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind, but is that why you’re a little nervous?”

“Oh, no. I’m not nervous.”

“Well, okay then why won’t you even look at me?” I looked right at her. “No, not at my face. Down here.” She moved her hands, but spread her fingers, to hold herself open, and stretch the skin tight over her clitoris, so it almost stuck straight up.

“Oh, sorry. There’s just a lot on my mind, but.” I shook my head, “Sorry.” I got on the bed, and she squirmed, giggling.


“Your hair, it tickles!”

“Oh,” I held it up. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just get down there, and kiss my pussy.”

“Huh, okay.” It’s just a pussy, but it’s not just a pussy, it’s my gay best friend’s pussy, and I don’t know how, but she just. What did she do again? “Uh, you don’t want me to, kiss your butthole, too.” she didn’t quite make it, but her tongue did go down low enough to lick my butt crack. I guess that’s why she picked my legs up, so my butt wasn’t squshed together on the bedding, but she didn’t go back there again.

“No, that’s okay. Only if you want to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Huh!” I took a deep breath, through my nose, to smell how hot and wet she was for me, and closed my eyes. Brushed her pubic hair with my nose, and her lips with mine. Kissed her, and then. Just like the other 2, or three times I kissed her before. On the mouth, I didn’t think about it. I didn’t have to, my body knew exactly what to do, so I let my mind wander, a little.

Flo, huh? Honestly, okay. My girlfriend likes tits. I should have seen that, when we walked past the soccer field to watch them practice. Running around, with her ponytail swinging behind her, and her bangs stuck to her forehead. Kicking the ball up to bounce it on her head, and her jersey bouncing too.

“Huh! HhuhHhuhuh!”

What did I just do? Wait, now it’s all coming back to me, but instead of wiggling it back and forth. I just pointed my tongue, to swipe it up, and down, enjoying the wrinkles in her folds running along the sides of my tongue. So I tried it, her way.

“No, go back to what you’re doing.”


“Ihihihn!” She giggled. “Lilith, that’s got to be the gayest name ever, if you can say it licking a pussy.”

“Huh!” Yeah. I’m getting the hang of it, so I just buried my nose in her pubes, and took a deep breath. “SNHHHH!”

Then, I kissed her even deeper.



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  • Reply Cumgulper

    That was beautiful! First time pussyeater. The joys of learning to enjoy the eating of a beautiful pussy.

    No it doesn’t make you gay to spread your pussylips for another woman or a man to spread his ass for a throbbing dick. I think one should just relax and enjoy what you like.
    Snapchat Cumgulper 1.

    • Psiberzerker

      Nothing “Makes you gay.” You either are, or aren’t. Even homosexual acts don’t change who you are.

      There’s also always the Bisexual option, but the characters are immature, and have naive opinions. I wrote them that way intentionally.

    • Cumgulper

      Good job.