Heteroflexible

I know idea that he could even do that, let alone that he was willing to, but even after years of marriage, my husband managed to surprise me.

I was reading a good book, and nearing the end when my husband came in, and started getting affectionate. “The kids are gone,” he murmured in my ears, “So we have the house to ourselves.”

Nuzzling my neck, and shoulder, fondling a breast, but I asked him “Can you give me a minute?”

He sighed, and got up, left me to finish it without the distraction, but it was disappointing. The ending, I had it figured out by the third chapter, due to some clumsy repeated foreshadowing. “Huh!” I suppose there was a little satisfaction in knowing that I was right, but I prefer surprises.

I don’t know what it is about being fooled, by a good author, and this one had before, using the same trick. Only the foreshadowing pointed to a red herring, so you’re convinced that the wife did it for the inheritance, instead of the husband’s lover to conceal the affair. Maybe I’d just read this one author enough that he was starting to get predictable.

All part of a good mystery, the author has to tease you, while you try to figure it out, but when you do, it can be a bit anticlimactic. That’s all I was thinking about, honestly I had forgotten Harvey’s interruption, until I came out to the living room, and caught him.

We’re adults, and I’m aware of his needs, just as he’s aware that I can’t always satisfy them, the moment he gets a boner. We’re not teenagers, but I had no idea, well?

I laughed at first, because he looked so silly, up side down on the couch. His ass in the air, and making this hilarious face, straining to lick, and kiss the tip of his hanging penis. “Oh, uh.” He stopped, and rolled off. “How was your book?”

Completely forgotten, I just shook my head, and closed my mouth. Realizing it was hanging wide open, it took me a moment to think of something to say. “Well,” I joked, “If you wanted a blowjob so badly.” I stopped, before going on about bending over backwards, because that wasn’t quite accurate, but I glanced over at the TV, showing a woman surrounded by men. Her mouth full, and both hands, going back and forth from cock to cock, then trying to fit 2 in her mouth at the same time.

“Hahahah, yeah.” He laughed nervously, kicking off his pants, and taking off his shirt. “I couldn’t wait.”

“How long, have you been able to do that?” My husband has always been tall, and lanky, but lately he’s developed a cute gut around the middle, which I quite liked. No matter how many situps, and crunches he did, it never went away, or got any smaller, but it was still firm. Not saggy, and soft like fat, even though it was, he’d covered it in tight muscle I just loved to run my hands over. Feel the grain just under the skin where you couldn’t see it, unless it flexed from him laughing, so I gave him a little tickle.

“Hahehihn!” He even giggled! “All my life, well. Ever since puberty, anyway.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I nodded, slipping my nighty off my shoulders, to give him something to play with, while I gripped his stiff 7 inches. He wasn’t just tall in the arms, and legs, he was also long, and thin, for deep satisfying penetration. Knocking on my cervix, as if demanding it open up, and take his babies.

Forgive me if I skip ahead a little, but to make a long story short, we made love right there on the living room floor, and the coffee table, because we couldn’t even make it to the couch. Then, we caught out breath, and crawled up on the sofa to cuddle.

“Oh,” he picked up the remote, “You want to watch something else?” Stopped the DVD, but I hugged him, and shook my head. “I don’t mind, but. Harv?” I turned to look up at his face. “You haven’t ever, sucked off another man, have you?”

“Hahaha.” He played it off, but I saw the look on his face, as I intended to. “No, of course not. Honey.” He hugged my shoulder, and I squeezed his tummy a little tighter. “Why?”

“Huh, I don’t know.” I lay back down, turned away, so I could think of how to but this. “But. Have you ever thought about it?” I picked it up, limp, and still damp from being inside of me. “I couldn’t help but notice that you couldn’t even get the whole tip in your mouth.”

I kissed it, trying to stroke the wrinkles, something like he must have felt, straining to get it to his lips.

“Oh, honey. Huh!” He hunched, and his firm belly swelled under my ear. I could hear him breathing, as much as feel it, swelling, and flexing with each gasp. “I thought you didn’t like that.”

“Smooch!” I let it slip out, and licked my lips. “Sucking dick?” I shook my head, and let is slip deeper into my mouth. Careful not to scrap him with my teeth, as it bloated and swelled. Slowly stiffening, and rubbed the side with my tongue.

“Huh, well. You never give me head any more, and you never sucked it so passionately.”

“Oomh! Huh.” I turned, so it lodged in my cheek, and rolled hard against the inside until it “POP!”ed out of my mouth. “I don’t hate it, it’s just like.” I thought, “An appetizer. I like fries too, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a burger with it.”

I got up, and he held it, for me to bend over, and sit down. Holding my tits, while I braced my hands on my knees, and worked my ass up, and down in my lap. “Huh, uh. You ever, nhm!” Biting my lips, and closing my eyes, to keep the image in my head. “Think. About, fucking, a guy, in the ass! UH! Huh!” My knees gave out, and I relaxed. Let my spasming cervix quiver, pressed hard against his dick.

“Huh, no.” He said, obviously upset, that I even suggested it. “I’m not. Gay.”

“Oh, ihn!” I hunched a little when he slipped out, flopped down, limp, and glistening with fresh orgasmic juices, but I hurt his feelings. “Sweety, I’m sorry.’ Still rippling inside, it was hard to breathe deep enough to speak, in complete sentences. “I uh, huh! Hhuhuhuh!” Shivered, and curled up. “I need a minute.”

He sat there, silently, and didn’t even pull my hair out of my face, but even with the pleasure still washing through my body, I was afraid, that I’d gone too far. I hit a nerve, and it was selfish of me, to get off on it, and ruin the moment for him.

“Huh! I’m sorry, it’s just. That.”

“What?”

“That,” I turned over to see him shake his head with a disgusted look on his face. “Dirty, fucking. I mean, buttfucking, really?”

“Well, I never, cared for it myself, but you know. Men aren’t really equipped to be fucked, any other way.”

“Well, for your information,’ he got up, “Just because I thought about sucking dick doesn’t make me a queer ass buttfucking faggot!”

“Harv, I said I was sorry,” but I managed to catch up to him at the door, before he slammed it in my face, and rubbed his arm. “I’m sorry, but I had no idea, and there was no way of knowing how you would react.”

“Huh, no. I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean that. About gays, you know I don’t hate gays, I just.”

“It’s the shit.” I guessed. “Of course, it’s not homophobic to be disgusted by something as naturally disgusting as shit.”

“Huh!’ he sat down, on the bed, naked, and shook his head. “It’s not just that, but.” he took a deep breath, and sighed again, “Huh, you have any idea what guys are like?”

“Some idea, I suppose you mean about homosexuals, and.”

“Cock suckers.” Again, we’re adults, and with the kids not around, free to use adult language, especially after fucking in the living room, and talking about cock sucking. It always struck me as a little odd to do it, and then use cutesy euphemisms, like playing the flute, when we’re talking about sucking dick.

“There was, this one guy, in College. Well, when I was in college, I went to this party, and there was a guy there.”

“A gay guy?”

“Yeah, and I was drinking, so I got my beer goggles on, I struck out, but he was. You know.” He waved his hand, limp wristed, and falsetto.

“Girly?”

“Yeah, and I can’t help thinking that he took advantage of me, even though he kept his pants off, but I let him give me a blow job, and. Huh, it was the best head I ever got. No offense.”

“None taken. Honestly, I really have to be in the mood to enjoy it, but. What’s the attraction?”

“I don’t know, I’m not gay but.” He spread his hands, and shrugged. “I can’t help thinking, what it would have been like, if I had. How big his dick was, whether or not he was circumcised, if I could even suck him off, since as you pointed out, I couldn’t never even get the whole head in my mouth, but I always wondered, if it was making me gay?”

“No, of course not. Even if you got a little bicurious, drunk at a college party, it sounds more like a what-if.”

“Exactly, but what if. I did, have sex with another man. Would you be at all jealous?”

“Oh! Oh, so that’s why you didn’t tell me?” Honestly, I never thought I’d be so turned on by my husband just talking about it.

“Well, I didn’t know how you’d feel about it, but also, there’s the whole shame and embarrassment of being a cocksucker, when you’re a man.”

“Believe me, it’s just as much an insult when women call each other that. Unless, of course, it’s with your loving husband.”

“Yeah, I guess that just makes you a slut, instead of a fa. Uh, Homo.”

He knows I don’t like that word. Any more than the N word, no we don’t really have any black friends, nor do we have gay friends we get invited to dinner parties, but it’s not that we shun, and avoid them. We certainly don’t hate them, and I will not tolerate hate speech, especially with impressionable children in the house to overhear it, but speaking of which. They got home, so we had to close the door, and get dressed.

Then, we had to come up with a likely story for why we left our clothes all over the living room floor, but they didn’t buy it. So, we had to talk to them about what mothers and fathers do, when they’re alone, and left out all the graphic details. Like the Coed Blowbangs DvD, and the cock sucking.

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