Losing my innocence

The day I lost my innocence and the impact it had on me

I was 10 and had an uncle I loved we always talked about creating a monster truck for a monster truck Rally it was going to be our own personal project. I was excited, happy, and nervous as I didn’t know how we were going to make it. It was a stormy day so I was stuck inside he was my babysitter as my mother and stepdad were at work and my biological father wasn’t allowed to see me that day as I was grounded. I was watching the rain outside in my bedroom when he walked in and sat on my bed talking to me. Little did I know at the age of 10 that he was rubbing his dick I wasn’t looking at him as I was still looking out the window. He began asking me weird questions like “have you ever felt a tingling sensation in your privates” or “has your privates ever gotten hard.” I was niave and I trusted the man sitting on my bed and so I answered saying yes that it has happened during school when I saw my councilor he then began asking if I ever had dreams of her. At this point he has his dick out and I look at him shocked and try to move away he then grabbed me and forced me to touch it. It was smooth and gross and I tried to pull my hand away not wanting to touch him. I knew enough about sexual acts to know this was both wrong and disgusting then he uttered the most blood curdling sentence ever that stopped me in my tracks. “Fight me and I go hurt your sisters.” I had two sisters a 4 year old and a 2 year old and my brotherly instincts to protect them kicked in and I stopped fighting that day he sucked my dick and made me rub his. I was disgusted and so ashamed of what I did that at night I cried myself to sleep. The next day I decided to not say a word as his words as he left rang in my ear. “Tell anyone what I did and I’ll make sure your sisters have the same thing happen to them” I went to school and my counselor knew something was wrong but I didn’t tell her I kept faking happiness. As I went home I was happy thinking my mother and stepfather would be home but HE was there said they had to go to work and the same thing happened again that night only this time he made me get on my hands and knees and pushed his dick in my ass. It was the worst pain ever and I cried the entire time after that everyday he would assault me always for 3 hours I hated to admit it but it felt good when he sucked me. I was disgusted with myself I became very antisocial my grades slipped to Fs I wouldn’t leave my room unless it was to eat or use the bathroom my hygene abandoned me and I stopped hanging out with friends or family for 4 long years I kept it all to myself when I was 14 a different babysitter came over and as I was washing dishes I broke down she comforted me and I spilled what happened she immediately called the police and my mother who rushed home and held me and had to fight herself to not kick his ass for hurting her babyboy I have always had a hard time telling this story I’m 24 now and have severe depression Anxiety and PTSD from it it wasn’t until two years ago I finally realized it wasn’t my fault that I was hurt I didn’t tell this story so y’all can comment disrespectful things I told this story so those who have been through what I went through know their not alone. It was horrific and very traumatizing but even males can be raped. Please don’t make unnecessary comments

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