# # #

Suck, Squeeze, Bang, and Blow

7115 words | 3 |2.50

A couple girls meet up in shop class, and the narrator is sucked into Brigid’s lifestyle.

“Uh!” Finally, I got sick of it, and stopped Brigid after lab. “What’s with you hogging all the guys?” They call it that, but it’s really a workshop, after class. First, there’s shop class, and then we have a lab. It’s supposed to get us used to it for trade school, or community college.

“I’m not hogging all the guys,” she shook her head, but I followed her to the girl’s room, where she got out a smoke, and lit up. “Mostly just the ones that don’t have boyfriends.”

Lisa came out of the handicapped stall. Not because she’s handicapped at all, but because it’s the biggest one, and all the way on the end, but another girl took it. “Well,” she said, “She has a point, It’s not like we get a chance to talk to them, with you throwing after-school sex parties.”

“Yeah,” somebody from the stall. “Is that Brigid? She’s ruining it for the rest of us, slutting it up for the whole entire sophomore class.”

“Uh!” She threw it in the sink, “You guys suck.”

“Not with you hogging all the dick for miles around!”

“I’m sorry,” I caught up with her. “Don’t listen to those jealous bitches, but what’s your secret?”

“No secret, and they’re not wild sex parties, they’re just hanging out?’ She shook her head. “Not my fault they’re horny teenagers with 24/7 boners. I’m not a slut.”

“I know. I know that, and I didn’t even call you that, I just. Huh!” Rolled my eyes.

“Did they put you up to this, and I guess you drew the short straw, so you’re the one that had to take shop.”

“No? That was your idea, I just thought it was a pretty good idea, to meet guys.” Being the only 2 girls in the whole class. “You know, you could do something with your hair.”

She pulled it out of the ponytail. “What?” Looked at it.

“Well, it’s all split ends, and also. If you let me trim it, you know summer’s coming up, and it’s already getting hot. You’re less likely to get it caught in a fan belt, or whatever.”

“I don’t work on cars with fan-belts, though. But.” She thought, and finally pulled her hair back over her shoulder. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” or actually, I’m thinking that if I come up with an excuse to be there with her, after school. Whenever the boys show up with their boners, I might get a chance to invite myself to one of those sex parties, she says totally aren’t sex parties.

“Okay,” she shrugged, and slammed her locker. “I have to get to class.” Tucking her book under her arm, she went off, and I had to skip my locker. So, I had to share a book on last period, but I didn’t really think about that. The reading, nor the lesson, I just had the same things running through my head as any day.

Daydreaming, especially after shop class, and lab, which is 2 Electives, like Chemistry would be, if I wanted to take Chemistry, but I could have done home-ec instead. That’s pretty much an easy A when I already know how to cook, and stuff. Balancing a budget, and leaving enough left over for groceries sure isn’t rocket science, but I figured that was her secret.

It’s funny, how they called her Frigid Brigid, until the boys started talking about, well. Going over to her house, because she had a go cart, and dirt bikes. Not BMX bikes, single piston 2 stroke motorcycles, and minibikes. When I got to talk to her, it turned out that her dad owned a shop, Neil’s Small Engine Repair, and the funny thing is she took shop, because it was an easy A, for her.

“Like a break from school work,” she says. “And they have lots of tools, car motors to work on. Now that I have my driver’s licence, I guess I thought it might be nice to learn how to work on them, too. But it turns out it’s just the exact same only larger, and 4 stroke Otto cycle, I guess.”

Thing is, her father divorced before they had another kid, so she’s an only child, and he got so busy running his business that he never really got a chance to date. Let alone remarry, and have another kid. Without a son to pass on the shop, she took after her dad, when it comes to that sort of thing. She actually likes working on engines, figuring out what’s wrong with them, and making them work again, which I can kinda understand now. That I got some time in the lab, and learning all this stuff. It’s not all that hard, it is kinda interesting, and also so useful. Practical, especially compared to my big brother, and mom, who couldn’t figure out how to change a tire between them.

I know, it’s simple, right? Just unscrew the nugluts, roll the flat tire away, and bolt the new one on from the trunk? Yeah, well I remember that. Sitting up in the back seat, and watching them try to figure out the jack, until the car rolled, and dropped down with a thump. Then, the parking brake kicked in, so I didn’t roll off into the ditch along with it, but I got a good scare out of it. So, I guess that’s when I realized that it might be a good idea to learn more about how to fix a car.

You just don’t think about it until it breaks down, and dad wasn’t there, to change the tire. They had to flag down a car so a man could get out, and show them how to jack it up, without dropping it when it rolls, because it’s on a hill, and only 1 wheel with the parking brake is actually on the ground. In gravel, on the side of the road, I could have been killed!

So anyhow, then I went back to school, and saw Brigid. Back then, they called her Biker Brigid, because she was still wearing that old beat up leather jacket, and of course she had dirt-bikes at home, but it wasn’t even like a biker jacket at all. It was brown, and scuffed, until finally the sleeve ripped on something. She tried wearing it with the sleeves cut off, but that just let the stuffing out the arms. Then, she and her mom tried sewing it up, but that didn’t work, because the leather was too tough, and it just broke the needles on her sewing machine.

“Huh?” The bell rang, and i guess time flies when you’re daydreaming. I wrote down the lesson before I left, and ran off to meet Brigid, but you know what? That’s actually the name of a Keltic and Norse goddess. Kinda like Thor, and Hephaestus all rolled into one, the goddess of blacksmiths, hammers, and also the hearth.

Also Saint Brigid of Kildare, which is kinda the post-Saint Patrick Irish Catholic born again version of the original pagan Brigid, but if you think about it. We don’t have hearths, and forges any more. Wainwrights, and Coopers don’t hammer out hoops of iron, to bind the staves of barrels, or wheels to the spokes any more. So, just like Brigid became Saint Brigid, she’s kinda the modern incarnation of the same old story. Instead of a forge, she has a garage, and instead of a hammer, she carries around a plastic case full of sockets, and a wrench.

I guess if there were a cult of Brigid of the Garage, her hammer would be a socket wrench, and her anvil a 2 stroke single piston small engine. At least until it’s a small block Chevy V8. Speaking of which, I almost missed her in the parking lot, but when she backed out, she got stuck in traffic. Driving out of the parking lot, so I knocked on her window.

She leaned over, and unlocked it for me. “Oh hey.” She looked down. “Uh, I’m sorry, but I completely forgot about you. You still want to trim my hair?”

“Yes, and no.” I hopped in, and shut the door. “Huh!” Leaned over to dry my face on the air condition vent. I nodded, “Yes, I still want to cut off your split ends, as a favor, but in return. What I really want to do is to meet the boys, if you wouldn’t mind introducing me?”

“Sure.” She left it in gear, and just let off the clutch, to idle forward when somebody pulled out. Watching the brake lights…

“So, you skipped driver’s ed?” That’s what I was doing last semester, since it only takes 1 semester to get your license, so then I started shop this semester. Thinking that’s where all the boys were, or at least she was the only girl, but who knew we would become friends?

She shrugged, “Yeah, well I’ve been racing, and driving all my life, as soon as I was old enough to turn the wheel on a go-cart, they don’t have power steering, you know.”

“When was that?”

“Well, I guess I got my first one for my seventh birthday, so for the last 9 years?”

“Over half your life.”

“Yeah, but I had a Malibu Fuschia Barbie jeep power wheels before that, and cars to play vroom vroom on the carpet at work. I guess I always was a Tomboy that way.” She reached up, and turned the mirror, then back down to shift. “Buckle up.” She fixed the mirror again, and went back and forth. Once we pulled out of the school zone, so she could get up to 4th gear, and over 40.

“So, your dad has a carpet in his shop?”

She shook her head, “He threw it out, when it got too greasy, but when I was little.” She nodded, and took a breath. “Huh, yeah. It was one of those play mats, like they used to have in kindergarten? It had a race-track on it, so I guess that’s how I got into cars, and racing instead of dolls, and tea parties.”

“Well, I had an older brother, so I grew up playing cars, and guns, and stuff. Dolls, and teasets too, but he wouldn’t play girl games with me.” Don’t really need anybody else, if you can do the voices for all the dolls, and stuffed animals. “So, since he was the oldest. He was in charge, and he always wanted to play boy stuff. Mostly guns, and swords. I got pretty good with a shield, and ax!” I laughed. “When we got into D&D, I played a Dwarf. Princess, Beryl but not a pretty wait in the tower for the Prince to show up princess. She was an adventurer, and she slew a dragon all by herself, after the rest of the party got wiped. Well, they softened her up first, but after the healer died, the wizard didn’t last much longer, the thief managed to hide in shadows until he got clipped by a lucky crit, and I was the only one with the hit points to survive, so I finished it off.”

“Wow, I knew David was a D&D nerd, but he never told me he got you into it too.”

“Oh, you knew him?” I shook my head, “Of course you did, look who I’m asking.”

“Huh, not really. I don’t want to talk bad about your brother, and all, but. He came over to ask me how a jack works, but it all turned out to be an excuse to make a pass at me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Well, it’s not your fault.”

“When was this?”

“I don’t know, about a year, and a half ago, when he was a senior? Well, that summer, he was about to be a senior, but he kept comparing me to this chick from that TV show, Firefly.”

“Kaylee?” I guessed.

“Or Megan Fox from Transformers.” She shrugged, “I wasn’t really ready for sex, I guess. Huh!” She rolled her eyes, and pulled the turn signal. Switched hands to downshift, pressing the clutch, and pulling up in the turn lane. “I don’t guess I’m still ready to date, or I guess maybe I haven’t met the right guy, but. You really had trouble finding a boyfriend, playing D&D and all?”

“Yeah, ha. That’s another total sausage fest, but I guess it’s like you. Said, that’s not a good way to find the right guy. They’re all gamer guys, so they talk about girls, as if they know anything about girls, that they didn’t make up.”

“Yeah, but they don’t listen. They’re all talk.”

“I guess I tried dating some of them, until I found out that they’re all talk, when the truth is they don’t know what to do with a girl, once they got their hands on one. I like shop boys better, anyway. They know what to do when there’s a real problem, in the real world. Gamers, they just know how to build a good character, and solve problems by throwing dice at it. At least a mechanic has some idea how to troubleshoot, and solve real problems in the real world.”

“So, what’s David up to nowadays?”

“College. Computer science, he wants to turn his campaign into an MMO, but I don’t think that’s gonna work.”

The light changed, so she put her foot down, and held the gear shift. Slowly released the brake so she didn’t stall, when the brake lights went off, one by one. Until it was our turn to turn, but she had to wait in the middle of the intersection for the traffic to pass.

“Why not?”

“Well, because it’s all D&D, so another D&D game is just trying to compete with WoW, Middle Earth Online, The Elder Scrolls, and every other MMO on the market. Like I said, no concept of the real world, just the fantasy. So, he’s not prepared for the reality, where he’s not as creative, and original as he always thought.”

“Huhuhaha! Yeah.” She sighed, and made the turn when the light changed. “Boys.” Switching the turn signal to change lanes to the right curb, pull up out front of her father’s shop, and pulling into the parking lot.

“Yeah, boys.” They were already there, waiting out front, smoking, and talking, but they stomped out their butts, and came up to my side of the truck.

“Hey,” they leaned up with their arms over the window. “Who’s your friend?”

Brigid got out. “Well, let her out, so I can introduce you. Leah, this is Johnny, Tommy, Bobby…” I couldn’t keep up with all their names, but they’re practically fighting over the chance to shake my hand, and meet me.

“So, what brings you here, Leah?” Bobby, I think.

“Uh, well I passed driver’s Ed, but I thought that maybe I could learn to ride a motorcycle?” I looked over at the dirtbikes, lined up around the corner.

“Yeah, come on. I’ll show you.” They put their arms around me, one on each side.


Brigid (ff Boys)

“So,” Carlo came over at the jumps, as soon as I cut the engine, and put my goggles up. “Tell me about this suck, squeeze, bang, and blow.”

“Uh!” I’m getting so sick of that line. “I know it sounds dirty, but it’s just a mnemonic for the 4 stroke Otto cycle.” I unbuckled my harness, and tucked 3 fingers back. “Intake,” popped another one out, “Compression, Ignition, and Exhaust.”

“Suck, squeeze, bang, and blow.” They didn’t teach that in shop class, that’s just how my dad remembered it. He offered his hand, “Let me help you up.”

Then, he leaned over, and I shook my head. “I’m not in the mood.” Pushed him off.

“WOOHOOHOOH!” Leah rode by, on the back of a bike, and Bobby hit the table. Dropped the wheels in a short jump, then came down, but I patted my heart. “Whew!”

Maybe he’s showing off, a little too hard, for someone who’s never ridden on the back of a motorcycle, but I hesitate to use the Biker term. Riding Bitch, it’s so sexist, but Carlo’s new, and I can tell already that he’s been told.

The game plan, to get a sure thing. I guess I encouraged them by not saying no, so now they think that the FAQ about Suck Squeeze Bang, and Blow is a code for DTF.

Well, I guess I’m outgrowing it. Like Leah outgrowing her D&D phase, as soon as she realized that she wasn’t learning anything that applied to the real world, where there’s no Elves. Just boys, the North American Redneck, and the few that have something outside of that mold.

“Hahaha!” He held it for her to dismount, and cut the motor. “YEAH! That’s a blast!”

She’s new too, but somehow, it’s different than Carlo. Joining the club, and learning the secret code for a sure thing. Well, maybe now I’m not so thrilled to be the sure thing? It’s all so new to her though, so I can kinda see her enjoying it. I’m just jaded, is all, but Carlo went over to talk to her. Since I shot him down, so I reached over to unlatch the seat. Tilt it up over the steering wheel, and get out the case.

I’m still working on the timing, since the new engine is geared for a motorcycle, but I I got lucky. Some guy dropped it, and brought it in, a basket case, but he had more money than sense. Since he brought a crotch rocket to a lawn mower, and dirtbike shop, instead of a racing bike shop where it belonged, so I took advantage of him.

He had no idea what it was worth, it was totaled, but he could always buy a new one. That’s exactly what he did, but the motor was intact, and on a go-cart. Honestly, it’s pretty dangerous speed, even with the timing a little advanced, I backed out the sprocket, and set it forward a click. Carefully with the extension, so I didn’t burn myself on the hot exhaust.

Braking down the handle, extension, and 5/8″ socket. it’s Metric, Yamaha, but I’m careful enough not to round it off with the oversized socket. Not having a 15mm on me, but by then, they stopped beating around the bush, and led her off behind the table.

The biggest jump, it also had bushes around the sides, so it was the de-facto place to go dump out your boot, or get down topless for a little hand, and mouth. Suck, Squeeze, Bang, and Blow, with the boys lined up, because she only had 2 hands, and 1 mouth.

“Huh!” Fast learner, though. I kept my eyes on the track, and fishtailed around the jumps. The wussy curves, since I’m not going to prove anything about the timing, flying through the air. It’s better to shift, up, and down. Dump the clutch, and power out of the corner, as soon as the loose sand caught up with my overspinning wheels, so they caught, and I could pick up speed again on the straightaway.

“Whew!” I skidded up, grinning, and spitting grit out, from riding without the bandana up. I wasn’t planning on going that fast, because it was supposed to be a test run, but once you get going. I couldn’t help pushing it to the redline, and seeing what she’ll do.

I need to recalibrate the speedo, next. Now that I’ve got the timing right, I have to adjust for having 6″ wheels, instead of 16″ from the motorcycle. That’s the final gear, unless you count the surface of the Earth as one large wheel.

Fast, it was fast. Almost too fast for this little track, but I should have her ready for racing season, when it starts.

“Huh!” She staggared out from behind the table, while the boys went back to their bikes. “Whew! That was a blast!” She said again. Wiping off her hands on her top, which was still half unbuttoned, and untucked.

“Yeah,” I rolled my eyes, “Huh!” I pointed. “You have a little left on your neck.” She hled her hair back, and felt around for the fresh wet blob. Wiped it off with her collar.

“Whew! Who knew it would be so satisfying, without even an O.” She shook her head. “Well, I lost count of how many they got, but. What do you do, where do you go after they all blow their wads?”

“Well, I usually save it for later.” I shrugged, “Then finish it off before bed. Well, in bed.” I pointed down, 2 fingers, and shook them in front of my coveralls. “Before I fall asleep.”

“Huh, your dad have a bathroom I can use? I need a shower, at least.”

“Well, we can got to my house, and use the bathroom there.” I grabbed my helmet. Strapped it on, getting in the seat. “Meetcha there?”

“Huh, yeah. I can use the walk.”

“Kay,” I pulled my goggles down, and my bandana up. This time, so I could grin without sandblasting my teeth. I need a shower too, it had been a long day, and I was covered in grit.


Leah (Girl Talk)

You know what they say, “She’s not like other girls,” or “Just one of the guys.” Probably a million other cliches, and nice ways to say she’s butch.

A tomboy, but when she drove off to their trailer. Behind the small engine repair shop, they live in a mobile home, but you can see it from the dirt track, and the boys rode off just as soon as they got what I wanted.

“Huh!” Okay, well remember what I said about fantasy vs reality? Well, I expected to find someone there, and missed what she said about not meeting the right guy, completely. I don’t even remember their names, well, maybe 3 of them, but if you put them in a lineup, I’d have to guess which one was Bobby, Tommy, or Jonny. Tom, Dick, and Hairy. Manny Moe, and Jack.

“Huh!” I like boys, but I’m starting to think that I don’t really love them? I don’t love her either, but I’m starting to know her. The more I get to know her, the more I’m starting to like her, and not just like her, but. Am I falling in love with Brigid?

What am I feeling for her? I know that before today, she was like a role model. Somebody I wanted to be more like, as confident, strong, and independent. Also, her luck with boys, didn’t turn out to be all luck. It’s not her looks, she obviously doesn’t put any effort into that, but she knows that she looks good in blue.

That’s her color, whether it’s denim blue, navy, or sometimes bright yellow accents, and accessories. So, she knows enough about the color wheel that blue and gold, brass, bronse, and lemon all compliment each other.

Okay, I guess she lucked out with blonde, and blue, but she’s Scandinavian/Irish, or at least her family is. Niels, not O’neal or Nelson, but Niels as in Niels Bohr? Only she’s not a bore. In fact, ironically she’s interesting, funny, smart, practical more than anything. If I had to pick one word to describe her, she’s practical.

She dresses practical, or at least she always had when i finally walked all the way across the track, and climbed up the porch to the front door. I knocked, but she came to unlock it with a dress on.

“That was quick?” She shook her head, with a towel wrapped around her hair, and kept buttoning up over a baby blue bra.

“What?” She looked down.

“I’ve just never seen you in such a nice dress.”

“Phf! Dress code dresses. Might as well tell us to wear potato sacks, and ponchos, so the boys don’t get distracted, and ruin their grades.” She pulled the towel off. Untied a bow in the back, that explains how the twist didn’t flop around with the way she nods, shakes her head, or looked down when she caught me staring at her chest.

“What kind of towel is that?” It looked like a terry cloth apron when she shook it out.

“Just a hair towel, but i forgot all about the haircut, again. So I washed it.”

“Oh, it’s actually better if it’s wet. Let me get my scissors out of my bag.”

“You brought scissors?” She followed me back out to the living room, and I forgot all about needing a shower. To wash all the sperm off from tugging guys, and having one penis in my mouth, just so it was wet, and slippery when he switched out to finish off in one hand or the other.

I nodded. “When was the last time you had a haircut?” She pulled a chair out from in front of the computer, and rolled it off to the kitchen.

“Huh, I don’t know, honestly, I forget but it’s not too long.” Weighted down like that, I could see that it was straight on top, then turned kinky around the nape of her neck, where the helmet ended.

“Oh, no. It’s not a question of how long is too long, it’s just the wind, I guess.” I picked it up, and pulled it out, until I could feel the damage pinched between my fingers, and cut it off. “Helmet hair, so I’m going to have to cut it off here.” I moved over, and picked up another lock. “I guess the helmet protected it, while the rest got beaten to death by the wind.”

“Huh, yeah. The grit doesn’t help either.” She shrugged, but at least she finished buttoning up the front, on the way back from the bathroom. I was kinda surprised to see how tanned her shoulders were, having never seen them before, and her skinny arms. Her upper arms, compared with the tight muscular chords in her forearms, from turning wrenches.

“I guess it’s the contrast, between the straight blonde, protected by the helmet and the broken ends that were exposed, to your lifestyle. It’s not too long to be pretty, it’s just too long to be riding around on dirtbikes, and that go-cart.”

“Sand Rail.” She shook her head, and I stopped, right before I caught her ear with the scissors.

“Hold still, especially while I get the side, here.” I snipped carefully. “You don’t want to get your ears pierced?”

“No,” she didn’t shake her head. “Not really, I didn’t see the point. What’s with ear-rings anyway?”

“I don’t know. I guess I like them, I never really thought about it.”

“Well, didn’t it hurt?”

“Of course, but only for a few minutes, then they heal, and then you can wear earrings for the rest of your life.”

“A waste of money, if you ask me. Even if you can stand the needles.”

“Huh, I guess I never thought about it.”

“Just one more thing on the long list of girl stuff I don’t understand.”

“Like what?” Sounds interesting.

“Well, where to start? Huh!” She thought a little while. “Well, okay for one, clothes are so flimsy, they wear out too fast, so the fashion police dictate what’s hot, or not, and you can spend more money on new clothes to keep up with the latest trends, but that’s another thing. Why are our clothes more expensive, when they don’t last as long, we have to wear twice as much underwear, and how come it’s a bra, but a pair of panties? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

“Huh, you’re right. I never thought about that, but it’s a pair of boobs, but only one butt. Right?”

“Exactly, so how come we have to buy one bra for a pair, but a pair of panties?”

“I guess it comes from them being a small pair of pants, or shorts so shorts they don’t have any legs.”

“Or a fly, or even that many seams. If you think about it, they only need 2 seams at the hips, but boy’s have a fly, and a whole lot more sewing to do, just to make 1 pair of tighty whiteys.”

“Hahaha. Yeah, and they have a pair of balls, but why do we even have to wear underpants at all, if we’re wearing pants. I guess.”

“Beats me, I guess they could cut the seams out, or tack them down, so they don’t rub you the wrong way, but you ever tried it?”

“Wearing pants, without underwear? It never occurred to me.”

“Well, I’ll save you the trouble. They’re not designed for that, so that’s why we have to wear underpants, under pants.” We both laughed. “They only reason we have to wear them under dresses is so that men don’t get to see what they want to see, but i don’t understand them, at all.”

“Men?” I shook my head, and she nodded. “I better come around, and do the other side from the front.”


“I’m not left handed? Hold still. Also, I’m less likely to poke you behind the ear this way.”


Brigid (ff Talk)

“Ugh!” Finally, she told me what they boys ment by Suck Squeeze Bang, and Blow.

“What? I thought you knew that!”

“No, but when you say it like that, doesn’t it sound disgusting?”

“No? It sure wasn’t disgusting for me, when I did it, but let’s go in the bathroom, and take a look.” She picked off stray damp hairs, that stuck to my shoulders, then slipped the strap of my dress back up for me when it pulled over. From hairs stuck under it, she really cut off a lot, but we didn’t bring a hand mirror with us, so I had to wait and see then i got to the medicine cabinet.

“Uh!” I shook my head, and tried to tuck my bangs behind my ears to keep them out of my eyes, but they just slipped back out. “It’s too short.”

“Well, it’ll grow back, I better get that shower off, before this top sticks to me permanently.” She pulled it off to her bra.

“Uh, well can you at least cut off my bangs?” I shook my head, “Uh!”

She grinned, and nodded, then turned around. “You mind?”

“No, not at all.” I unhooked her bra, so she could slip it off. “And that’s another thing, why do girl’s buttons button backwards?”

“Well, that’s actually from the Victorian Era, when the gentry started getting seamstress things, and buttons were all the rage, but the ladies didn’t have to dress themselves. They could afford handmaidens to button them up for them, so they made the buttons easier to do right handed, on someone else.”

“Huh! Nice underwear.”

“Thanks,” she slipped her panties down, and kicked them over to the corner to the matching bra. “What size are you?”

“Huh? Oh 12 in dress sizes, or 16 Junior long.” She nodded, and pulled the shower curtain, so I turned back to the mirror, and tried to do something with my hair. Then, I made the mistake of trying to hold it back. I didn’t even bother with pulling the ponytail holder off my wrist, because I just got it to my hairline before is slipped out. Swung around, over my shoulders, and got in my eyes again. “Uh! I can’t even tie it back?”

“No, but I can cut your bangs when I rinse off, so at least they don’t hide your eyes. Especially in that dress.”

“Oh yeah?” I held it out, and fished some more out of the neck, where it fell. “You better save me some hot water.” I scratched my neck, where it itched. “I need to rinse off.”

“Almost done, I’ll be right out.” She cut the water off, and pulled the curtain before I finished unbuttoning the top of my dress. Enough to get it around my shoulders, and pull it over my head, without it catching my hair, because there wasn’t enough in back to catch.

“Huh! It feels weird.” I felt back, to my hairline, and the tips just brushing the side of my pinkie.

“Well, let me get your bangs, and then rinse off. That’ll give the hot water heater a chance to recover, and you’d only have to rinse off again anyway.”

I sat down, and nodded. On the toilet, she took the towel with her, and came back with it tucked in down the front. “Hold still, it’ll just take a minute.” I closed my eyes, and just resisted the urge to nod, or shake my head. Until she was done holding it out, and snipping along her fingers, then she got to my side burns. She slicked them out, they’re not really sideburns, they’re just the wispy little ones that hang down in front of my ears, but i tucked those back. Those stayed, but I got up, and swung the mirror out. So, I could look at myself with bangs, and turn back, and forth.

“I look like a blonde Dora the Explorer.”

She laughed, “Ha, yeah. Only your head isn’t broader than your shoulders. I swear, it’s even bigger than her mom’s hips, and how did that work?”

“Really?” I shook my head, then tried tucking the sides back again. “Huh, I think my bangs were pulling the rest of my hair out, but I think I still have an old hair band, from Halloween. Let me out.” She stepped out into the hall, so I could go dig it out of my old toybox. “Yeah, here.” I picked it up, and turned it over. Then around to check the seams in the back.

“Cat ears?”

“Yeah, you think I could cut them off without leaving some frayed edges?”

“Well, why don’t you try it with the cat ears?” She stepped back, and shook her head, once I separated my bangs from the rest, and pinned it back with the plastic arms behind my ears, like glasses. When you wear them on your head.

“So, you think you have anything that might fit me, to wear home? I don’t want to put that jizzy top back on my clean body, and those underwear probably stink to high heaven.”

“Oh yeah.” I had to laugh to myself.


“You know what I missed growing up? Playing dressup, with other girls.” I turned around, and I didn’t even have to ask. She unhooked my bra, right away, so I could slip my hips out of my undies, and kick them off.

“Well,” she went through my closet, “I guess overalls are one size fits all, or I can adjust the shoulder straps, but I’m a 28 B.”

“Oh yeah.” Denim bibs, and buckles can be a bit rough on the nipples. “Me too, only I’m a 30, but I think I have one that barely fits, so if you tighten it up to the third set of loops, that should bring it in a couple inches.”

“Lucky we’re both the same bra size,” I dug it out the back of the drawer. “Or close enough.”

“Hm, yeah. Try this.”

She turned it around, shrugged, and slipped it up her arms, but then she looked down, and back up. “You shaved?”

“No, I use NEET.”

“Why?” she shook her head, but having dropped the towel, I couldn’t help noticing that she didn’t even shave under her arms. They’re not super hairy, but still. I kinda itched under mine, just looking at them. “It’s just weird that you went years without a haircut, and yet you use dipilitory creme to take off all your body hair. I like your underwear, better.”

“You do?” I just looked at it. “What size undies you wear?”

She just scratched the fuzz up front, and picked up my overalls off the end of the bed. “I think I’ll try commando, just until i get home.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Uh, you got a teeshirt or something I can borrow?”

“Oh,” I turned back to the dresser. “Yeah.” Probably don’t want to go out in public in just a bra, and overalls. Maybe some socks, and her shoes, of course. “Try this?”

“It’s just more comfortable.”

“Well, your’s is much prettier.”

“Yeah, but it’s underwear, so it’s more important that it be more comfortable than look good, if nobody’s going to see it, and all those boys seemed to care more about getting me out of it, so they could squeeze me anyway.”

The Suck part, makes sense. The Squeeze too, if you think about it. It’s the bang, and blow part, I never realized how boys ment it.

Hit it, and quit it. Leave just as soon as they get off, and can pull their pants up. I just never put two, and two together.

“Oh, what’s wrong?” She looked at my face, with a lot less to hide it in.

“I think I’ll go grab that shower now.”


Leah (ff Romance)

It didn’t feel gay, at all, but then again. I’d been through P.E. and the nudity in the girls’ room isn’t what bothered me so much as being forced to learn Sports. I don’t want to play sports, and what good is passing a quiz on the Football positions going to do the rest of us? I mean, yeah, the 1 girl that gets to date the quarterback might have something to talk about, on the way out to the sunset, and grope spot, but other than that.

It wasn’t uncomfortable, at all. Changing with her in the same room, and talking about the possibility of playing dressup, but I don’t want to play games. I got to see her body, naked, and I mean not a hair on her below the eyelashes, but that was another one of those things about her.

With her, there’s always 2 things, and it’s rarely half and half, but she never got used to body hair. It itches, while I just got used to it, because shaving certain places is a pain. Even if you don’t cut yourself, there’s razor rash, so you can’t shave without cutting that off, then there’s stubble, and you think growing pubic hair itches, try that.

“Huh!” I found the can of Nair, though. Or actually CVS pharmacy generic knockoff Neat? I think that’s what she called it, but I don’t guess there is a bandaid brand, so I popped off the cap, and smelled the foam on the pump. Shook my head, it smells like. I don’t know, some bitter corrosive chemical I don’t want on my body, but as long as she washes it off, so I con’t have to taste it.



“Oh, nothing.” I just popped the cap on, and didn’t mention the first time I actually imagined myself kissing another girl between the legs, but you know what? The thought of not having any hair in the way, especially her pale hair, so you can’t even see them, but without any in the way, I could see everything.

She pulled the shower curtain back, before the water even stopped running down her body, between her legs, and down it. “Uh,” I reached for the towel bar, then shook my head. Realizing it was still in her bedroom, from drying off, and remembered the little apron one. For her hair, but she doesn’t have as much to dry any more, and it’s still damp.

“Check the hall closet.” She toweled herself off, underneath the breasts first, then got her armpits. I picked a blue one, with yellow piping, just to see her wearing it.

Wearing her blue jeans overalls, teeshirt, comfy plain brass, or bronze colored bra, I’m not exactly sure which, and no panties. I don’t know what she’s talking about, I can’t even feel the crotch hanging down between my legs, but I’m intensely aware of the lack, of anything between my pubic hairs, and the back of the fly. I checked it, nope. No zipper, just a flap sewn on, as if it had a real fly, good. That’s another thing, no zipper to catch your pubic hair on, if you have any.

“What’s with them sewing fake flies on women’s overalls, and fake pockets, too?”

“Beats me,” she shrugged, and tucked the corner of the towel down, so it wrapped around her body like a damp dress. A short dress, that utterly failed to hang down low enough to cover her thin pale lips. No hair, no freckles, or tan. Her face freckles, but her arms, and shoulders tan, and I just love that about her.

I don’t know who kissed who first. I don’t even remember who said what, because as soon as our lips touched each other, everything else just flew out of my head, and I felt her jaw.

“Smooch,” she pulled back, but I didn’t let go. “Sorry.”

“Oh, no. Sorry for what, letting me kiss you?”

She didn’t even shake her head, just smiled. “I thought I kissed you?”

“Well, either way, I never wanted to kiss anyone so badly before in my life.”

“Well,” she grinned even wider, “You still haven’t kissed me badly, so you’ll have to try again.” I laughed, and kissed her, that time. “Nope, you’re sill too good at it.”

Then she kissed me. And I just let my hands slip down her neck. Past her shoulders, and stopped at the top of the towel. “Snh! Huh!” Sighed, and just left it there. “You’re a good kisser too.” I don’t know whether I’m blushing more out of embarrassment, or flushed more with desire, but it’s definitely a mix.

“Plenty of practice, I guess. But it never felt like that before.” she reached up, to feel her lips. “I guess I hadn’t met the right girl before.” She sighed, and turned around. “Huh, but I better get dressed, and take you home before dad gets off work.”


“Huh, because I don’t want to be the kind of girl that goes too far on my first date, so. I’m certainly not going to start on my first real date.”

“I better leave you alone then.” I pulled the door, slowly.


“So, I don’t get tempted to go too far on my first real date, either.”

I tried to date before, but now that I know how it feels like. I have to admit that I failed, and I know that it’s because I hadn’t met the right person before.

She just happened to be a guy.

🔞 Candy.AI 🔥 AI Sex Chat - Roleplay, Erotic Stories, Try for Free 🕹️

Please, Rate This Story:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
(average: 2.50 out of 4 votes)

By # # #


  • Reply Cracksniffer ID:2c3w1pct0d

    I got bored after 300 words, your ego must be huge to post something this long and self indulgent

  • Reply Savannah ID:fzq74ft0k

    At the end was a twist but I loved your story

    • Psiberzerker ID:1i2lz52uqra