Not just a story, but questions…

If this happened to you, what would you do?

I’m a man in my late 30’s. When I was a young boy, a slightly older girl who would babysit me asked me if I wanted to learn a secret naughty game that was really fun, but I could never tell anyone about it or else I would get in big trouble and so would she. She said her mom caught her doing it once and she got spanked, and had to promise to never tell anyone she had done that. I was a little scared if her mom had reacted like that, but i had a little crush on my babysitter, plus I was curious, so i said ok. To this day I don’t think she thought she was doing anything wrong, she just thought it felt good and I would like it too.
Anyway she took me to her room where her dog was napping, and she closed and locked the door. She pulled down her pants and kneeled and bent over in front of the dog, and he started licking her back there. She laughed a little, then she said “this feels really funny at first, but then it feels really nice.” When she started making a face that told me it was feeling really nice, suddenly the dog got up and climbed on her back, and started humping. She said “you have to help him get into one of your holes. I know boys only have one, but i have two, and they both feel pretty good, so i bet you’d like it too.” It wasn’t long before the dog spasmed and squirted into her, and she explained that if you just let him he licks it all clean after. I was fascinated, but a bit scared. She said I could try it next, but the dog needed a few minutes to rest first. Later that afternoon, she took me back into her room and locked the door again, walked me over to the dog and pulled down my pants, bent me over and helped me get used to the dog’s tongue on my butt. When the dog started humping me she guided him to find my butt, and she told me to relax to let him in, and don’t worry if it doesn’t feel good right away. I wasn’t able to relax enough to let him in because I was scared, but she said that was ok, we could keep trying. Soon the dog squirted at me anyway, and then he licked it up which we both laughed at. Once or twice a week after that, she would bring me to her room and help me try to relax and let the dog in. I gradually learned to enjoy the feeling of him pressing against me, and slowly but surely i was able to relax and let him in. It was surprisingly uncomfortable the first time and even hurt a little, but she had warned me it might, and reassured me it would be worth it later if I keep trying. So I did, and eventually it did feel pretty nice. I learned to enjoy the feeling of the dog squirting inside me, and licking me clean after.
Once I became too old for a babysitter, I didn’t really see her anymore, and this activity stopped being part of my life. I always kept this a secret, and it was years before i learned how this was illegal and very wrong. I only recently learned that apparent dogs can swell up into a knot, and I’m glad that never happened to me! But I never did this with anyone else but my babysitter. Now I’m a grown man, and I know I’m not gay because I’ve never found a man attractive. But I do find I have a secret desire to find a woman with a dog.
What would you do if you were me? Is it wrong? Should I pretend i don’t feel that way? Should I go to therapy? Should I look for a woman with a dog, and hope she’ll understand? I only ever told one woman that I had let a dog do this to me, because we were very close and I thought she would understand. She was shocked at first but seemed to accept it after awhile, however she didn’t want to do anything like that with me. Now we aren’t together anymore and I don’t even know if I should try to tell my next girlfriend about it or not. What would you do?

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